Which would your child choose?

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Year 6 leavers party or final rehearsal before a theatre school 10th anniversary show.

 

I have to tell dd of the clash tomorrow. She'll want to do the party and the show but can't.

[LinMM]

Oh dear what an awful choice to have to make. Just a thought...it is a final rehearsal, so she probably knows her parts anyway and more or less what she's doing. Does she have a friend even teacher who could fill her in on any last minute instructions about the show. If she has been with the kids from year 6 since the year dot, perhaps this is more important.....but only she can choose in the end!

[charlie4dancin]

My dd school discos and leavers party always clashed with dance for years she always had the choice and always opted to go to her ballet classes!!

Enjoy

Cx

[Anna C]

Dd's school leaver theatre trip clashed with her first ever audition for ENB. Miss Lewis was so understanding and agreed that the leavers' trip was a one-off and a bit of a rite of passage, and suggested dd send in a dvd audition. :-)

 

Dd would probably have chosen ballet but I do think these one-offs are very special.

[Kitschqueen_1]

Dd would probably have chosen ballet but I do think these one-offs are very special.

Totally agree.

One of the reasons my dd didn't audition for NYDC this year is that one of the performances clashed with her prom. She has sacrificed so much over the years for her dancing but she has been planning her prom for 18 months!! :-)

[Tulip]

That is a really difficult situation pictures. If she doesn't turn up for final rehearsal she will be letting the whole cast down because as you will already know a prompt will have to replace your daughter. Talk to the cast director and see if they can suggest anything. Alternatively have a separate end of year party for your daughter at a slightly later date.

[Pas de Quatre]

As a matter of principle, and as part of bringing up children, if a commitment has been made you should honour it.  Opting out because something more interesting comes along later seems to be a modern problem.

[Evie]

Can't your dd spend some time at the leavers party and then hot foot it over to rehearsals. Or the other way round.After all, we are always dashing here and there with our dc and are often running in during class/rehearsals etc. (No longer a problem for me, ds at vocational school now!)

[2dancersmum]

Final rehearsal here I'm afraid as her absence there will have an effect on the rest of the cast and performance, unless her part is so small that the cast director thinks they can manage without her.  Year 6 leavers seems like a big deal but perhaps she can do something with her year 6 friends another time.  My DD had almost the same clash - year 5 leavers BBQ or show rehearsal.  She stayed at the BBQ until the last possible minute and then dashed over to the ballet studio- luckily I had made sandwiches for her to eat in the car because the food was not ready when she left.  I know she did not regret her decision.  Prom in year 11 is different altogether but at least you have plenty of notice for that and can avoiding doing anything that clashes.

[aileen]

IMO, if your dd's non-attendance at the final rehearsal will adversely affect all the other children then she should miss the party. It's unfortunate, I know, but an important life lesson is that you must honour commitments which you have previously made. I would offer to arrange a separate little party for her and some of her friends on another date. Actually, these events are often less exciting than the planning and the anticipation, but your daughter will feel that she is missing out on these as well.

[taxi4ballet]

What a tough decision...! 

 

One the whole, though, I am inclined to think it might have to be the rehearsal. Mainly because it tends to be the first time the whole cast is together, and it is the only opportunity they get to rehearse the the finale/curtain call.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I'm at work now so can only post briefly but rehearsal is 4.30pn-7.30pm. Party starts at 5pm and us about an hours drive away.

 

Rehearsal is being held at theatre school, there will be a tech atcthectheatre the next day.

 

Dd has a minor role in one piece (she comes on and says the wizard will see you now in One Shirt Day but she has significant part/solo in the Matilda medley and she has a sizeable monol

[Picturesinthefirelight]

A sizeable monologue in the drama piece

 

Oh - and Dh and i work for the school so favouritism can't be shown

 

If she attends the party she will have to pull out if most if the show except for two small dance pieces (already performed at a festival and not due to be rehearsed until the next day)

 

Snother younger girl has already arranged to leave early to get to a ballet performance but its at a theatre 5 mins down the road and she is mostly in the opening numbers.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

The party us being held on the day school breaks up. We go on holiday the next week (day after the show) to return in time for her ballet school show.

 

Her choice but I can't make exceptions for her.

[taxi4ballet]

Oh golly, what a dilemma!

[Clara]

One of my year 6 dancers has just had to make the decision between her year 6 leavers prom (I don't think it helps that the school has given it such a glam status for what will probably be a disco!) and our actual summer show. She has chosen her prom as it's a one off experience as others have said. I completely understand but it has obviously left me with the predicament of having to slightly alter and tweak dances. For one particular number which involves partners I've had to call in a dancer from the class above to fill her shoes and learn it very quickly! I'm actually quite pleased the dancer in question has still wanted to attend classes despite this though, as rehearsing for the show at the moment is our main objective. Obviously I would have preferred her to choose the show, but running an amateur performance group with predominantly once a week children who attend no other dance classes can certainly have its pitfalls!!
Tough call to make for the child!

[aileen]

Yes, I wish that the schools would drop the word "prom." Most "proms" are little more than school discos with more money being spent by the GIRLS on their outfits. Before my dd's leavers' party one of the teachers had a word with the boys telling them that, as the girls would be dressing up, they (the boys) needed to make an effort. Despite this, some of the boys still turned up in shorts and T-shirts anyway. I honestly can't remember what my son wore at his leavers' party!

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Tell me about it Clara

 

Oddly enough dd has been used as a swing when the older group were rehearsing for a show in February covering absences (she knew everyone's bits in the partner work but never actually got to perform it)

 

This party is one being organised by a parent who has hired the village hall. I'm invited too!!!!

 

At the moment dd says she wants to to the rehearsal but she's bitterly disappointed.

[Clara]

Yes proms are definitely over stated in my opinion Aileen; a lavish attempt to extort money from parents! Year 6 proms to me seem especially unnecessary! It never ceases to amaze me when I hear snippets of conversation from my year 11 dancers when they discuss the cost of their prom dress.....One even boasted a trip to New York to find hers because there was simply nothing she liked in the whole of England!!! It's crazy business these days!.......No such thing when I was at school....Just a quick trip to the local Clowns restaurant in town to mark the occasion with a handful of my girlfriends!!
Pictures, I think if your dd is at the moment saying she is prepared to attend the rehearsal instead of the disco then praise her for her commitment and making a grownup decision not to let the group down. I do think it is tough when they have to make decisions and miss out on events they would otherwise love to attend.....but hey, I guess life is a process of hundreds of decisions! It's not always easy to decipher at the time which is right or wrong; but maybe treat her in another way to a leaver's gift? Dinner with her best friend at a nice restaurant where they can both dress up? Or a girls night together doing hair and nails etc?

[Justamum]

Sorry, but I would encourage your daughter to go to the Prom/Leavers Party.

Life is too short and we should encourage our children to enjoy it to the max. (safely of course)

We regret the things we don't do more than the things we do ,do!

Perhaps the teacher could understudy her part for the night? Surely she and the rest of the cast know the performance inside out by now.

Your daughter has been with her friends at school full time for nearly 5 years, and deserves a celebration to end this wonderful time with many friends she has made there, before they part in many different directions.

Some will part waves and never be seen again after the last day at school.(except on facebook)!

There will be many more shows for dedicated performers, but it's a one off chance to say goodbye with a celebration with some good friends.

 

Sorry if I have offended anyone, - just my opinion.

J x

[Picturesinthefirelight]

She can't go to the party and be in the show. It isn't fair to make exceptions for my own daughter. Parts are being handed out this week.

 

And to be honest apart from a very small group of friends the rest arnt very nice to dd ( but one of the reasons she wants to go is that she is an outcast at school already and most of them are going to the senior school)

 

The teacher would read in (I'm her boss shell do as I say) but the other parents might complain.

 

It's going to he entirely up to dd. if she dies choose the party I'm going to have to boom a taxi and send her in that on her own though.

[Frogsmum]

This is a hard one. We're in a similar (ish) situation with our  Yr 6 DD. Her last JA session is the same day as her local dance school summer show. We're planning to try and do something with her JA friends before then, but there was no choice about missing her dance show. It really will be a shame, but she has got MA's so will still see a few of them next term anyhow.

 

Also, one of her school friends parents has arranged a photography session for the girls in our local park when they finally break up in July, but the date was during WL summer school which DD is going to! So we had to say no to that - although I think they're trying to rearrange the date so she can be there! Our children do make big sacrifices for their dance, missing parties etc,but in the main, DD wouldn't have it any other way!

 

Perhaps, as others have said, you could get her close friends together and go for a big picnic or something, just before the end of term, so she doesn't feel like she's completely missing out.

[aileen]

If parts have not yet been allocated there is the option for your dd to be given a (probably smaller) part which might allow her to miss the final rehearsal if it this would have little or no impact on the other children.

 

As far as friends at senior school are concerned, your dd will remain friends with those children she is genuinely close to, and the other friendships will fade away very quickly. Your dd will have an opportunity to make some nice new friends. At the beginning it can all be a bit fraught as children jostle for position in the class and in the various friendship groups, but eventually it all settles down. Some early new friendships, seemingly so promising, don't last either, but new friends come on the scene. For the first few months, and sometimes for longer, there will probably be quite a lot of movement in her friendships.

[Legseleven]

If the leavers' party is being organised by a parent in the village hall, is there any point asking whether any other date is available - or even whether it could start a bit later so that your DD can get there, even if she is an hour or so late, after the rehearsal? It seems a very early start time for a Y6 leavers' party.

 

If not then I am in the 'rehearsal takes precedence' camp with your DD. She is obviously very mature to realise that commitments should be honoured and I agree with Clara that she should rightly be praised for that.

 

In relation to the majority of children who you say aren't very nice, your DD will never fit in with that group anyway as she is obviously a nice, mature young lady - one party won't make much difference and may just reinforce her feeling that she is an outcast if they are already very cliquey. As I tell my DD, she must be friendly towards everyone but doesn't have to try to be everyone's friend; she too is mature for her age and has always had a close group of very good friends who support each other, whilst getting on well with the majority of her peers.

[Legseleven]

Still thinking about this and the early start time for the party. As tou said that you're invited to attend along withyour DD, I would have thought that most - or at least many - parents would struggle to attend a party starting at 5pm due to finishing work and having to get back to change, collect their children, etc. Could you see if that might encourage the parent who is organising the party to try to put back the start time to say 7pm? Perhaps there might also be an opportunity to let your daughter leave the rehearsal when she has done her pieces - but even if not, she might then be able to attend at least the last hour or so of the party?

[BalletBloch]

I agree with Justamum. Understandable if it was a show, or an audition... but a final rehearsal... 

 

Again, sorry if this offends anyone. 

[LinMM]

I think that now it has been revealed that your daughter has a few close friends only in this Yr6 group then the rehearsal seems to be more important for her and as others have said a smaller party with just her real friends could be arranged on another day. Some children have been together since they started school in Reception and so have formed close bonds but this is not the case for everybody. If this was a tight knit group I would have thought the leaving party quite important but maybe it will not be so much for her to give up after all. It is true we should honour our commitments whenever possible but difficult clashes do occur from time to time and occasionally we have to "let people down". Sometimes something really important can come up that you didn't know about when making a previous commitment so one has to judge where the greater loss will be.