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advice/etiquette needed please


robin64
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Can anyone advise me about this dilemma please.

 

DD has been at her dance school for 18 months after 10 years in her old school. After a couple of wobbles she has settled in well and is making good progress. This term the timetable has changed and we cannot get to one of the lessons. I have looked on the website of another school in the same town and it has this lesson on a convenient day/time. Should I ...A) give up the lesson for the time being and see if the timetable changes so she can carry on at present school or b)Try the other school to continue her lessons without missing out? It is not a core ballet lesson but another genre she is keen on too. I also wondered if I should ask/mention to current school as I have a feeling there might possibly be some rivalry between them. Both schools are well thought of and have very experienced staff. I thought I meant upset/annoy present school by going elsewhere for lessons. It has also come to my attention from checking out the times that DD could do most of her lessons on one day at the other school rather than 1 hour, 45 mins and 1hr45mins on 3 different evenings. It is a 90 min round trip for me and at the moment I do this 3 times a week.

 

Is it not the done thing to go to different schools and will I just end up upsetting both if I do this? thanks for any thoughts.

Edited by robin64
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If I was you I would talk to your present school about your dificulties, but I would not mention the other school yet. See if your school can still meet your needs, if not go back and talk again. I would once again explain the difficulties and then say that unfortunatly it may be necessary to look elsewhere and could the recomend anywhere. Give another couple of weeks and then start the new school. Try and leave on a good note if it comes to it.

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This is so difficult and causes so much heartache. Some schools really object to students going elsewhere and even refuse to allow them. I was always very upfront and regretted being so sometimes. I got a bit of leeway having a boy as most teachers accepted that I might need to look at more than one school but it was never pleasant.

 

I found it the hardest thing to deal with teachers who were so dictatorial.

 

When we did change schools completely we did have one unpleasant time but we had to do what was best. It drove my husband crackers as he felt that the schools offer a service and thus need to accept that peoples needs may not be dealt with in one palce. Or indeed sometimes one has to move for progression.

Good luck.

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I have chatted to the teacher/owner and they would help if possible but can't do anything. She can't move up as she has just moved into this level and it is intermediate modern so she couldn't go up to advanced. I am happy with the school but it's a shame to miss out on training. DD wants to take her exams and try for dance/MT college. I also don't want to change schools particularly but it would be interesting to take a lesson in the other school and see what it is like there. However I really do not want to upset or annoy anyone as you know how important it is to have a good relationship especially if you want to go on to further training. I thought maybe I could keep up the other ballet and tap lessons at current school but do the inter modern at the new one. Is this too complicated?

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Julie, I agree. It is very difficult and I wish they all saw it more as a simple servic. There seems to be quite a culture of strict loyalty to schools! DD moved after 10 years and it was really hard telling her teacher. We had moved house but realistically could just as easily have carried on there but in reality I knew that DD needed a more professional school with faster progression and as it turned out DD skipped up 3 tap grades and is doing well. Her old school was small with 3 pupils in her tap grade and she always had to wait for ages to take exams. It's tricky now to contemplate trying another school but I also feel that it's a shame for DD to miss out.

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My DD goes to two schools. To Her "main" school twice a week and to the other school once a week. Both teachers know about it, I never tried to keep it secret. Do whatever is best for your DD, don't try to keep the teachers happy. In my opinion if they are good teachers they will understand.

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You are the customer - you are paying for this service.  You do what you feel is best for your child.  A good teacher who is comfortable with herself won't mind.

 

The only caveat is in the beginning of learning. It is better in the first 3 years or so to stay with one method.  Thereafter depending upon the age and needs of the student a wider experience is a good idea.

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Thanks everyone. I think I will ask if the school minds us going elsewhere for this particular lesson. If they are unhappy I can consider what to do otherwise it will be after Easter before there is any chance of a timetable change and even then it may not be the right time.

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Because the school are the ones who have changed the timetable and you can't manage their new plans then they can't complain about you finding the class elsewhere (although I know they may well complain anyway lol). You have give them chance to help you out but they can't. I think asking what they can suggest to help you out is a great idea. I would be honest when you start going to the other school. You could explain that you feel uncomfortable and that you are still very much supportive of the school and their great teaching. Good luck!

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I would discuss it with the existing teacher first,  just as a courtesy but from what you've said I think it would be a bit unreasonable of them to object. If you are taking only modern classes at one school and only ballet and tap at the other, I don't think there is any real conflict. I could see that if you were taking the same style and/or grade in two different places simultaneously and the teachers approached things differently then it could be confusing for the student and frustrating for both teachers, but that doesn't sound to be the case here. Hope you get it sorted out amicably.

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I personally can't see why your dd couldn't do modern at the other school whilst continuing with the lessons she can do at her existing one. But you do have to be honest and firm too, you are the customer after al!

 

Personally I've never had a problem with sharing my students with another school and have even recommended "rival" schools locally if I felt that they would be better suited to individuals. I do get upset though if students haven't told me- I do want honesty. And I also want to advise because sadly I do know of teachers in my area not sufficiently qualified and I'd rather students go to teachers that I know will take good care of them. Sadly other teachers do try to monopolise their students- for example at one school I teach at we used to lose a lot of students because they also wanted tap- which that school didn't offer. But the "rival" who did do tap would not take the students on unless they did ballet with them too,  Luckily we managed to come to an arrangement  with another school.

 

Anyway good luck and be as open as you can about it all.

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