Eating disorder record

[DancingtoDance]

On 13/02/2020 at 13:06, Tulip said:

My daughter is now a professional dancer. Throughout her training at vocational school they are under immense pressure to keep to the right weight for ballet. If you appear heavy you are told to lose weight at upper school, if you lose too much weight you are taken off dance. For quite a few students this really messes with their heads, they are at an age when their bodies are transitioning to adult. 
Consider if this environment is safe for your precious daughter and if it ever will be. 
I saw so many students with ED but no one said anything. I saw students gain hormonal weight and I know that they were told to lose weight. Can anyone imagine how that poor student felt having to wear a leotard everyday in front of a mirror with all her super lean friends. Thankfully my daughter survived her training but is left with the emotional baggage of always checking her weight. 
As a mother I feel awful that I was unable to pull my daughter from this environment, she simply lived, loved and dreamed it and worked super hard. 
I wish your beautiful daughter all the best of luck in her recovery, and very gentle hugs to you as her mother, you have some very difficult decisions to make alongside your daughter. 

Hi Tulip, thank you for sharing. Maintaining one's health as far as one can is much more important than keeping the right weight for ballet, because for one if you are not as healthy as you can be you may not be able to dance anymore or as long as you would if you were as healthy as you could be

 

I think caution and tact must be used when discussing weight with young people or young dancers, especially with those whose bodies have not fully developed yet. It is okay and natural to go through puberty. Weight gain or weight loss during growth or puberty does not necessarily mean one's body is or will be unsuitable for ballet or dance, because student's bodies may change over time, especially when their bodies are still developing. No student should be shamed for natural weight gain or natural weight loss. From what I have read online it seems there are forms of dance other than ballet which may have less restrictive weight requirements than ballet, so students may want to look into a career in other forms of dance as well.

 

I also think while weight gain or weight loss could be indicators of disordered eating, they are not necessarily always indicators of disordered eating: weight gain or weight loss could be due to growth or natural changes in the body, and they could be indicators of illnesses or medical conditions unrelated to disordered eating. This should be also considered when noticing weight gain or weight loss in a student: it should not be unnecessarily assumed that a student who seems to gain excessive weight or lose excessive weight has done anything to do so. One should not automatically assume that someone gaining weight is eating too much or that someone losing weight is eating too little.

Edited January 18, 2022 by DancingtoDance

[junedancer]

For those who have to support those with eating disorders can I recommend this book

 

https://www.pavpub.com/mental-health/the-practical-handbook-of-eating-difficulties

 

I have a friend who is a mental health support practitioner in the education sector who recommended it to colleagues recently.

[ba11erina]

hi! i’m in the same situation at the moment, i’m auditioning for upper schools whilst going through therapy for my ed and anxiety.

at the start of this year I was so worried because I thought they’d choose the person without an ed over me, but at open days we spoke to the schools and they have way more resources than I thought to handle situations like mine. The general thing said was that they would do whatever was needed to help my mental health as a dancer and that as long as we’re honest about the situation I’m in, then it won’t effect my audition

 

i hope this has been a little bit of help and i hope you’re daughter is doing ok, going through an ed while auditioning is so so hard x

[ba11erina]

2 minutes ago, ba11erina said:

hi! i’m in the same situation at the moment, i’m auditioning for upper schools whilst going through therapy for my ed and anxiety.

at the start of this year I was so worried because I thought they’d choose the person without an ed over me, but at open days we spoke to the schools and they have way more resources than I thought to handle situations like mine. The general thing said was that they would do whatever was needed to help my mental health as a dancer and that as long as we’re honest about the situation I’m in, then it won’t effect my audition

 

i hope this has been a little bit of help and i hope you’re daughter is doing ok, going through an ed while auditioning is so so hard x

another thing is that i know a couple of people who have started upper school and left for residential ed treatment and have then gone back to their school when they’re ready so telling her this might help

i used to be really worried that i’d get in somewhere and relapse and have to leave and then it would all be over but finding this out helped a little bit

 

when applications started opening and i saw a couple of medical questions on the forms i begged my mum to lie on them and say i was completely healthy but after open days and talking to the schools i’ve felt a lot more understanding that the schools want to help you as a dancer and as a person, especially when it includes mental health

[Anna C]

Hello ba11erina, and welcome to the forum. ☺️ I’m really glad you have realised that being honest on application forms is a much better approach, because if you got a place - or a university place, or job, in future - without being honest about any physical or mental health problems, they won’t be able to support you properly if they don’t know the whole situation.  

 

It’s great that you’re having therapy while going through the audition process. Have you talked about a “Plan B”, should you not be succesful this time - or even if you are successful, but you find that full-time training exacerbates your ED and you have to stop? I think it’s vitally important to have a backup plan, because even for the strongest and healthiest dancer, injury or illness can happen and they find they have to change their plans.  

 

Wishing you lots of luck with your auditions. 

[Peanut68]

On 23/01/2022 at 00:37, ba11erina said:

another thing is that i know a couple of people who have started upper school and left for residential ed treatment and have then gone back to their school when they’re ready so telling her this might help

i used to be really worried that i’d get in somewhere and relapse and have to leave and then it would all be over but finding this out helped a little bit

 

when applications started opening and i saw a couple of medical questions on the forms i begged my mum to lie on them and say i was completely healthy but after open days and talking to the schools i’ve felt a lot more understanding that the schools want to help you as a dancer and as a person, especially when it includes mental health

I hate to be the voice of doom & gloom but what is said at Open Day is not necessary going to be a true reflection of actual care once there...IMHO 

[Peanut68]

I should add that my last comment was not related to any one particular institution.... rather a general vibe about several gleaned from shared experiences 

[meadowblythe]

On 26/01/2022 at 16:19, Peanut68 said:

I hate to be the voice of doom & gloom but what is said at Open Day is not necessary going to be a true reflection of actual care once there...IMHO 

 

I think you could say that about any school in the country, vocational or otherwise!