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Feeling disheartened


HowMuch!
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Hi All,

 

This is a bit of a fed up post. I’m feeling a bit disheartened and in limbo and like nothing much is moving forward for my DD. I think it’s because of the ‘not yet’ for associates followed by this year being one without a show or an exam to focus on. Maybe it’s just me and autumn/winter blues. Maybe it’s just that last year was so full of dancing events and this year is about upping her hours and focus. Either way, I feel a bit like there’s something missing.

 

I’m not sure what I’m asking? I just needed to say it. Plus, I’m very aware that she’s ok and perhaps this is something about me rather than her? 
 

Thanks 😕

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I suspect your last sentence is correct HowMuch! 

Perhaps you should think about taking up ballet ....or some other form of Dance as well as your DD....especially as you say you are aware she is okay about this less packed year and you are obviously keen!! 

Sometimes it's nice to just have a year to focus on technique and bring your general standard up with no exams or shows to worry about  which for some children can involve a lot of parent and teacher pleasing.....even if they are very keen on ballet. 

 

To to be honest when I was a child I was glad my mum was a big hands off ...she only came to see me if there was a show on....at my first school this was annually and at my second about every three years! 

I always had mixed feelings on the day about family watching .......being extremely self conscious....but was sort of secretly glad they did come!! 

But as I lived in a village I walked with friends to classes at my first school....so didn't need mum to take or collect me.

when I changed schools my dad took me there and collected ( had no wish to wait around!) as it was nearly five miles away but after a couple of years I cycled to classes on my own after that. My mum was always too late home from her job to get involved with after school  activities. 

I suppose these days with children being more likely to be transported around mums/dads are more likely to get more closely involved with whatever their children are doing I don't know. 

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I think you are normal @HowMuch!

When there has been a busy period and it goes quiet there is often a bit of a dip in mood - a bit like the days after Christmas, a wedding or other big family event. Particularly if your own social life is closely tied in with your child's activities you can feel quite isolated if there is not much going on. 

Plus it is tough when our children get "not yets". Even though we intellectually know that it isn't the end of the world, it still hurts emotionally, especially if other friends have had years and you see them enjoying an opportunity that your own child also wanted.

I am not sure there is a solution,  though time does bring a different perspective, but you are definitely not alone.

 

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I can relate to you HowMuch! We are just working out whether to go through all the auditions again this year, having had a lot of  'not yet's last year, as you gently put it! I figure it's a rollercoaster, being a dancer's mum, with real highs and lows and too much or then too little adrenaline! My only tip to keep up our enthusiasm is to take the focus off our own kids' dancing sometimes and book to see a ballet or a show together, maybe at Covent Garden/West End, to really enjoy the professionals performing and be reminded of the bigger picture, and draw some new energy and inspiration from the dynamic performing arts world. Good luck with riding out the autumn down-time and hope this forum helps.  :) 

 

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Would your dd like to do some additional dance outside of her regular classes? If not then use the time to focus on something for you. If she does there is plenty to look at. Depending on where you live there are workshops and masterclasses to look at. My dd did some lovely open classes at Birmingham Royal Ballet very good value and small class sizes. It’s a challenge when you get a not yet and a lot of us have been there. Make sure you are looking after your own needs it’s very easy to overinvest emotionally (speaking from experience here).

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By the sounds of things there aren’t many opportunities for your DD to perform or for you to watch her. Particularly this time of year residential care homes love to have people in performing and it makes you feel good giving something back. Maybe your dd and some of her friends could put together a bit of a show, would give them something additional to work towards and nurture their creativity which is a skill that is too often overlooked! 

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These are great ideas. I’ve had a search for workshops but can’t find any around Yorkshire - perhaps I’m missing something? 
 

It was a busy year before the summer with shows, auditions and exams so it does feel strange to be back to being a ballet-taxi! I should definitely make the most of the calm whilst I can! 😁

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How old is your DD and which 'bit' of Yorkshire are you looking in? 

 

However, I agree, it is hard to find workshops etc in Yorkshire! We tend of hear of local dance schools having a 'one off' workshop with a particular dancer, or a day to learn XYZ, but there doesn't seem to be any easy way to find them! 

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27 minutes ago, Pixiewoo said:

How old is your DD and which 'bit' of Yorkshire are you looking in? 

 

However, I agree, it is hard to find workshops etc in Yorkshire! We tend of hear of local dance schools having a 'one off' workshop with a particular dancer, or a day to learn XYZ, but there doesn't seem to be any easy way to find them! 

She’s 10. We’re near Leeds. It feels like there should be loads of opportunities but my searching leads me nowhere. X

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2 hours ago, HowMuch! said:

She’s 10. We’re near Leeds. It feels like there should be loads of opportunities but my searching leads me nowhere. X

 

Hmmm . I was going to suggest Rennaissance Arts in Leeds, but you need to be a bit older.  Northern school of contemporary dance often have things on. 

 

To be fair though, my DD didn't do any workshops or extra classes until she was at high school. 

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RAD often do grade-based workshops in Leeds. My DD has booked onto the Inter Foundation one in Feb. Only useful if your DD is doing the RAD syllabus though. But I think there is also a Grade 2 Nutcracker one before Christmas?

 

YBSS also run workshops in Leeds quite often. They sell out quickly.

 

Both tend to be held at either Northern Ballet or Yorkshire Dance just around the corner.

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Northern Ballet do open classes for young people aged 8 to 16. It’s also worth asking to go on the mailing list to get early notice of any workshops that they may be putting on. Also why not watch a few professional performances? Always very inspiring and now is the time. It becomes more of a challenge to fit in as your dd gets older and busier.

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Does she like getting dance tickets for Christmas? One off things in Yorkshire that I can think of - ‘Can you dance’ in Sheffield or Louie Spence workshops in Leeds and Sheffield. Or going to watch northern ballet’s Cinderella in Leeds?

 

Renaissance arts do master classes throughout the year but I’m not sure what ages they are for. 

 

Renaissance arts scholars is ballet and jazz associates. I think it’s from age 11 so you could look at it for next year? The audition slots do get fully booked so if it’s of interest then look into it early. 

 

 

Edited by oliviaT
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11 hours ago, Crystaltips said:

Northern Ballet do open classes for young people aged 8 to 16. It’s also worth asking to go on the mailing list to get early notice of any workshops that they may be putting on. Also why not watch a few professional performances? Always very inspiring and now is the time. It becomes more of a challenge to fit in as your dd gets older and busier.

She takes classes at Northern Ballet so hopefully we’d find out about workshops there. Thanks. 

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