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puberty-help!


balletmummy
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you've got a lot  of hormonal stuff going on  which will effect mood, add in the fact that it can seem like you are dancing in a different body   constantly (  because frankly you are  whether thats growth spurts or  for those undergoing a female puberty  the changes to centre of gravity  - boy puberty  tends to change CoG less - you are dancign in a different body ... 

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36 minutes ago, balletmummy said:

Anyone else with a 12 year old dd going through puberty who is all over the place and out of kilter/lack of co ordination and control/concentration/focus/usual enthusiasm?

 

She loves her dance but things seem to be going haywire for her right now!

 

Help!

Am right with you here.....you have perfectly  described my frustration this evening with 12 year old son! General loss of interest/focus across the board (school/music/sport/dance).....with cries of 'I don't want to do it anymore' or 'I don't know what I want' with associated self anger/tears/angst. Do I keep to timetabled things or let him opt out? Have told him he has to honour commitments made (music exam/dance show) but that in future he must think long & hard before agreeing to do something.....tough love? Am worried he could so easily slip into a life of not joining in & miss out on socializing & taking part. Neither do I want to try mould him against his will or wishes into something that is not 'him'....aghhHHH! Is this why at gone midnight I'm on computer reading forum with glass of wine to hand??? ;)

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It’s tough, they simply don’t know if they are coming or going and it’s no fault of their own, they have no control. I was lucky mine both sailed through it all relatively easily (compared to others). A lot of friends put their children on vitamins specially  for teenagers alongside a good diet, and large amounts of wine for the adults in the house. 

 

I can  honestly say there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

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DD is now 14 and we are getting on ok as long as i am careful not to express ANYTHING that could be taken as criticism :ph34r:  At 12 she was unsure about her full-on ballet/JA path, and last year she cut back on her dance load. This year I made her choose her ballet classes for the year (our school year starts in Feb), and yes I called her out yesterday when I caught her telling her big sister that I was 'making her do all these classes'. She likes to moan but now acknowledges that she will miss ballet when she stops in a couple of years. I've also told her she needs to find an alternative form of exercise that she can maintain independently while at university, and she has conceded enough to have signed up for swim squad at school. I also have a son aged 27 and daughter aged 22, and I honestly think that the main thing they need as they enter their teens is to feel they have some level of control/say in their life and routine. School tends to be fairly non-negotiable so they fight about the rest of it. I would suggest working out what is negotiable and what isn't, but in a way that makes your DD feel that she has some say as she fights for some independence in what may seem a very regulated world. Good luck :D

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1 hour ago, Cara in NZ said:

DD is now 14 and we are getting on ok as long as i am careful not to express ANYTHING that could be taken as criticism :ph34r:  At 12 she was unsure about her full-on ballet/JA path, and last year she cut back on her dance load. This year I made her choose her ballet classes for the year (our school year starts in Feb), and yes I called her out yesterday when I caught her telling her big sister that I was 'making her do all these classes'. She likes to moan but now acknowledges that she will miss ballet when she stops in a couple of years. I've also told her she needs to find an alternative form of exercise that she can maintain independently while at university, and she has conceded enough to have signed up for swim squad at school. I also have a son aged 27 and daughter aged 22, and I honestly think that the main thing they need as they enter their teens is to feel they have some level of control/say in their life and routine. School tends to be fairly non-negotiable so they fight about the rest of it. I would suggest working out what is negotiable and what isn't, but in a way that makes your DD feel that she has some say as she fights for some independence in what may seem a very regulated world. Good luck :D

 

Does she have to stop ballet when she goes to Uni, Cara? Loads of unis here in the UK have ballet classes for all levels - is that not the case in NZ?

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10 hours ago, Anna C said:

 

Does she have to stop ballet when she goes to Uni, Cara? Loads of unis here in the UK have ballet classes for all levels - is that not the case in NZ?

 

NZ only has seven 'academic' universities (we only have about 4 million people) and she would have to find dance classes elsewhere. The performing arts are generally only offered at polytech-type places or at our national School of Dance (which only offers full-time classical or contemporary). She wants to study medicine, which is only offered at undergraduate level at two universities. As she'll be away from home, paying for dance classes is not likely to be high up on the budget! I also find that the girls often walk right away from ballet for at least a few years after finishing school, and may seek out adult classes after a break. The ones who aren't pursuing a dance career often seem to need to make that break, and then choose what they do when they're ready. So that's why we are encouraging her to try things like swimming and running that she can keep up as a penniless student. On the upside, more and more places are offering barre classes and Pilates type workouts, which were unheard-of when I was at uni.

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If gave up ballet from 15 ....went the academic route ...but was back again by the age of 22!! 

Its a difficult bug to get rid of once bitten by it!!

And I gave up originally in a bit of an adolescent all or nothing strop!! 

 

Still ll at it again now at 70!!

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