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can a principal ask a student to leave because their sibling wishes to do so?


terrimarie24
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my 12 yr old  and 4 yr old daughter have attended the same school for 2-3 years.  My eldest has been a bit unhappy recently, and felt like she wasnt really progressing the way she should be, she had mentioned things to her new principal ( who is new, been there 6 months), who said she would try and improve on things to make her feel a bit better. Things actually got worse so we gave her notice that she wanted to leave. Principal didnt take this too well and said due to my eldest wanting to leave, she thought it was best that her little sister didnt return to her classes too. Can she do this? I made it clear my youngest was still quite happy in her lessons and wanted to stay and never gave her the impression that she wanted to leave too?

Also, they were due to attend a festival in Nov, which my youngest had 2 solos she had learnt to perform at it, she has withdrawn both from the festivals ( my eldest was in 2 group dances) so ive not long paid for costumes which now are no good to us.

I was just after some peoples opinions on whether people think that that is professional, and any advise as if i can do anything about it?

Kind regards

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my 12 yr old  and 4 yr old daughter have attended the same school for 2-3 years.  My eldest has been a bit unhappy recently, and felt like she wasnt really progressing the way she should be, she had mentioned things to her new principal ( who is new, been there 6 months), who said she would try and improve on things to make her feel a bit better. Things actually got worse so we gave her notice that she wanted to leave. Principal didnt take this too well and said due to my eldest wanting to leave, she thought it was best that her little sister didnt return to her classes too. Can she do this? I made it clear my youngest was still quite happy in her lessons and wanted to stay and never gave her the impression that she wanted to leave too?

Also, they were due to attend a festival in Nov, which my youngest had 2 solos she had learnt to perform at it, she has withdrawn both from the festivals ( my eldest was in 2 group dances) so ive not long paid for costumes which now are no good to us.

I was just after some peoples opinions on whether people think that that is professional, and any advise as if i can do anything about it?

Kind regards

Oh my goodness, I thought you had pinched a page out of my diary, albeit a few years back. 

 

I had 2 x DD at the same school, their Aunt was a teacher there so it seemed the right place to start dancing. As the years progressed my eldest was passionate about dancing but her fellow classmates weren't and if they were needed for netball, drama etc they didn't turn up. The class never progressed much to DD frustration. 

 

Fellow friends at her academic school attended another well known ballet school, inquiries made and she transferred across welcomed with open arms. 

Meanwhile youngest DD (7 years younger) remained at her old school. But it didn't take long until the 'conversation' was held with me by the Principal. My youngest wasn't going anywhere until she was ready if ever. Just like children attending different academic schools to meet their needs. Even to the extent of the old Principal ringing the new Principal to complain, fortunately the new Principal would not bow to any underhanded tactics and supported my youngest to which ever studio she wished to dance at. The situation soon became intolerable and the move was made. Best day ever. 

 

One month my eldest was in a show for her new school the next month my youngest was at the same theatre with her dance school. I was backstage chaperone for both! Challenging times but the best move ever. Exam results were vastly improved. Happy children happy mum.   

 

Sorry rather long winded way but to sum up, no surprises. Studios do get rather territorial and don't like 'sharing' the mums between them. In realistic terms it is more practical as over time the timetables will clash, festival entries will clash, performances will clash. It's a battle you won't win no matter how determined you are. Unfortunately. Good Luck. I'm sure the move will be well worth it.

Edited by balletbean
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Thank you Balletbean, unfortunately we havent moved, My eldest wanted to leave, her group class is only 5-6 kids and shes one that kinda ends up being put on the end.. at the back.. forgotten about so  thats why she wanted to leave. i dont think id mind so much if we had somewhere else to go! i think i need to start looking.  my 4 yr old is still very upset that shes been 'kicked out' of her dance school =(

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Very sad, I understand.  Maybe ask around at you DD's academic school, always reassuring for anyone when moving if they know someone already at the studio to 'shadow or mentor' them during the transition stage. My DD's new studio did that and it was so lovely to see. 

 

If still unsure you can always ask to watch a couple of classes or for your DD to before making any decisions. I can understand how upsetting for your 4yr old could be. Hard but still very young and will probably be more resilient than you think. Include her in the choice of new studios if you feel tht may help. Not knowing can be harder than reality That can sometimes be very helpful, being treated as important as her older sister could prevent any resentment. But then at the end of the day they are your DD's and your money I'm sure you will make the right decision.  Good Luck. 

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I think this is completely unprofessional actually. 2 of my DKs attended a local school on and off over over 3-4 years- it is a good school which has sent several children to White Lodge but in the event both children (DD and DS2) eventually switched to DS1's Vaganova teacher as they preferred her. However they didn't both leave at the same time so I did have one at the old school after one had already left there to join the Vaganova classes. I didn't inform the school I was moving to another teacher- just gave notice re the next term's classes. No one ever asked me the reason. They knew DS1 had a different local teacher and in later years when he was back from vocational school in the holidays once or twice let him come and do a class with his sister just for the interest/fun, and were all really really lovely to him. By the way DS1 Vaganova teacher was instrumental in getting him sent off to vocational ballet school when she felt he needed more teaching than she could provide (no sense of ownership there).

 

As far as I am concerned, you are paying for a service. If it no longer suits, you give notice and leave. If they are a good school they should have sufficient demand that the loss of one child makes no difference to their business (as long as agreed notice periods have been respected). If the school is so petty as to exclude your little girl at the age of 4 for something her sister wants to do aged 12 you are better off elsewhere anyway (however upsetting the move is).

 

So sorry to hear about this, how unpleasant.

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Whatever happened to freedom of choice? If it was an academic school it wouldn't be a problem to move a sibling to a different school. Someone should write a handbook that guides parents through the minefield of ballet school etiquette and culture. After quite a few years, I'm still clueless!

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I would say if they have cancelled your little dd's festival attendance without your consent or request then you should be entitled to a refund on your entry fee and costumes, if not your private lessons for dances! I find that appalling behaviour on behalf of the school and I would certainly move both your children now regardless xxx good luck xxx

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