People who just don't understand!

[Katymac]

It's been a mixed bag for us

 

Academic school understood that as PE is on a non-dancing day DD didn't do it as she needed a rest day; but put her in the G&T for sport and all the meetings/activities are after school (not in lunchtime) so she couldn't attend

 

Dance school was concerned that DD did her (GCSE) homework in between classes rather than running about & playing like the other children(in yr 9)

 

Academic school wanted her to do the equivalent of 17 GCSEs but compromised on 9 GCSEs & 2 BTecs & letting have RE/PE lessons as revision time

 

Academic school not putting her forward for the interschool dance competition as "they had no evidence of her ability in dance" - just a BTec level 2 in Dance at D*D* but let her have time off for auditions

 

Confusing! and their reaction that she couldn't pop in to get her certificates at prize giving as she was 100 miles away at college well you wouldn't believe it!!

 

Generally her dance friends have become good at time management,hard working with ambition; school friend going off to uni for the first time this year have had small pt jobs (6hr shifts) or no work this summer compared to DD who had 3 - 2 of which were 11hr shifts

Edited September 16, 2016 by Katymac

[drdance]

I know I'm in an almost-probably unique situation being a school teacher (science) as well as a dance teacher but in my experience in a secondary school as a teacher is that most teachers are simply not aware of the dedication that young dancers pursuing it as a career have, and the hours that they have to put in. Those of you parents who didn't dance - if your DC hadn't started dancing, would you really know what it entailed? If the situation was reversed would you be one of those people looking at that parent, wondering why they ferry their DC to so many classes, why their DC misses school for dancing, why their DC wants to be a dancer rather than "getting a normal job"????? While I genuinely do understand your frustration, you are a minority! Those who understand dance from the vocational aspect are only a very small slither of society, and the rest of the world really doesn't know about it, in the way that they know more about sport and music. This is possibly because more people have been exposed to sport and music, as up until recently both were compulsory on the school curriculum (unlike ballet!). Furthermore, sport and music in school are both taught by people who are specialist, and can do their chosen sport or music. Dance, if taught at all, is rarely taught by a dance specialist. Therefore, fewer people learn about dance, so as adults they just don't know what it entails. Of course this is wrong, dance should have a higher status in society, dance should get the same focus in schools as other subjects. But it doesn't. And that is not the fault of individual teachers.  

 

Most teachers really do care about their students and would love to get to know each and every one of them, including finding out their hobbies, career aspirations and talents. Sadly we don't have time. And it works both ways. There are LOADS of students at school who dance, that I don't know about. I found out about one of my year 8 students taking intermediate foundation by accident as I recognised the RAD letterhead when the letter was sitting on the desk in the attendance office. The majority just quietly get on with it, and we never know about it. Perhaps drama, PE or music teachers might know more but why would it come up in conversation with your science teacher?! (Similarly, there are few of my pupils in school that know about my alter-ego! Most don't believe me anyway!)  Don't get me wrong, there are a couple who let the world know, end up dancing in liturgies (I work at a Catholic school so we have school worship that is not a mass) etc but they're invariably the ones with the poorer training who are competition dancers and who are convinced that they're better than their training is allowing them to be. 

[Legseleven]

I couldn't agree more, drdance. We have also noticed that often the students who are most vocal about their dancing, keen to publicise the hours they spend at the studio and dance all around school are the ones with what appears to be an inflated idea of their ability and the quality of their training.

[balletbean]

I couldn't agree more, drdance. We have also noticed that often the students who are most vocal about their dancing, keen to publicise the hours they spend at the studio and dance all around school are the ones with what appears to be an inflated idea of their ability and the quality of their training.

Oh, My Goodness I think we can all relate to that one!  

 

I just hope they land safely when they fall off their pedestal and enter the real world! 

[Pups_mum]

It was DD's former academic school's Prize Giving last night, and in the back of the programme was a list of "University and College Entrants 2016". DD wasn't on it. First of all I thought they had only included "normal" universities but closer inspection revealed several former pupils headed for music or art schools. I don't see why DD should be excluded,especially as she is actually hoping to come out with a degree at the end of her course,just like the majority of her former classmates. Of course it might just be a simple clerical error, or as my husband said, maybe DD hasn't told them what she is doing (though I would have expected them to ask??) but given previous attitudes to her dancing I'm not so sure. We were there because one of my other children was receiving a prize and I didn't want to spoil his evening so I didn't say anything, but I have to admit to feeling rather hurt. Can't decide whether to raise the issue with school or not. Obviously it's too late to change anything now but I suppose it might make a difference to another child in the future.

[Jan McNulty]

That's awful Pups.  I'm afraid I would raise it with the school.

[aileen]

I definitely think that you should raise this with the school and point out what getting into vocational school involves. These days, I would have thought that schools would keep records of what all their leavers are doing after school and so I'm surprised that the school didn't ask your daughter what her plans were. A big deal is made of leaving school these days with proms, yearbooks etc. When my sister left school at 16 in 1981 she walked out of the school after her last O Level exam and that was that; there were no final celebrations at all.

[celb]

Very disappointing pups mum.I would definitely raise it with the school .

[hoglett]

As above. ..speak to the school. Keep us informed.

[Pixiewoo]

I would talk to the school too.

 

feeling sad for you and your dd too.

[Harwel]

This is a real shame. Deffinitely should raise it with the school, as you say, makes no difference to your dd now but they should be made aware of their error and not make the same mistake in the future. No wonder our kids have such a hard time getting others to appreciate what they do.

[annaliesey]

I'd be hurt too. What a shame. Hope you can raise with the school for them to consider for future children

[balletbean]

Spurned on with new inbuilt confidence after reading so many messages after the original question, I arranged a meeting with my DD Mentor and Yr head at her academic school this week. 

 

Armed with her dancing timetable I asked how WE were going to support my DD to reach her goals without dropping any subjects as she is in yr10. They took copies of her studio timetable and are off to speak to other teaching staff to put a plan into action. 

 

Without reading these many messages on this post I would have never had to courage to stand proud and confident to approach the school.

 

I would have been inclined to keep quiet and hope with fingers crossed that DD was able to maintain her academic studies and dance lessons through to GCSE without collapsing in a heap under the pressure. Trying to balance her grades both in both the classroom AND the studio. Now feeling hopeful

 

Thanks everyone especially as it was never my post 

Edited September 24, 2016 by balletbean

[sarahw]

That's great balletbean.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that pupsmum and you should definitely raiSe it with school. I went to an Open Evening at the school my dd used to attend and my non ds will go to and the ex-pupil who is going to Bird was listed with all others going to HE. XX

[taxi4ballet]

Spurned on with new inbuilt confidence after reading so many messages after the original question, I arranged a meeting with my DD Mentor and Yr head at her academic school this week. 

 

Armed with her dancing timetable I asked how WE were going to support my DD to reach her goals without dropping any subjects as she is in yr10. They took copies of her studio timetable and are off to speak to other teaching staff to put a plan into action. 

 

Without reading these many messages on this post I would have never had to courage to stand proud and confident to approach the school.

 

I would have been inclined to keep quiet and hope with fingers crossed that DD was able to maintain her academic studies and dance lessons through to GCSE without collapsing in a heap under the pressure. Trying to balance her grades both in both the classroom AND the studio. Now feeling hopeful

 

Thanks everyone especially as it was never my post 

Hooray! Well done you

 

Taking the timetable in was a great idea - it gives them something concrete to look at and think: "Crikey, we didn't realise..."

[balletbean]

Hooray! Well done you

 

Taking the timetable in was a great idea - it gives them something concrete to look at and think: "Crikey, we didn't realise..."

Thank you, as it happened the timetable also highlighted the voluntary work that my DD gives, in her own time at the studio to help the 'baby class' early on a Saturday when most teenagers are buried under their duvet!  

 

Thanks again to all  

[balletbean]

Morning all, I may have spoken too soon.

 

After having such a positive meeting just a few days ago.

 

I asked at the school if we could use the A level photography studios for the obligatory photos for SS. Approx 30 mins after school one day

 

Ooooooooo Nooooooooo 'health and safety' and no police check...................... 

 

Photos of my own daughter at my old school with own equipment and they said NO but hey 'we support your DD fully' yeah right. 

 

Words of advice to others, take what schools say with a pinch of salt, time might past but we won't forget especially when thanking people for their support.

 

Morning rant over, off to have more caffeine!!!!

[Fiz]

We didn't get this nonsense from friends and family but my daughter's friends were a different matter. It was worst from kids who had no hobbies. They refused to understand that my dd had classes, exams, rehearsals. One in particular was maddening in the extreme. She had her mother's full backing to drink at home and hang around upstairs with her boyfriend for hours on end. Finally my daughter saw through this girl. She had no ambition and didn't want my dd to have it either.

[alison]

She had her mother's full backing to drink at home and hang around upstairs with her boyfriend for hours on end.

Going really off-tangent from the previous post, but I remember when we were in our late teens that one friend had parents who were totally cool about boyfriends staying overnight, even - I don't know about the alcohol side, but then people back then didn't tend to drink as heavily as some do now. Everyone else was of course really envious. It was only years later that the friend admitted that she, in turn, had been envious of those of us whose parents didn't allow such behaviour, because at least it showed that they cared.

 

Things have changed a lot since then, of course ...

[southerndancemum]

Had a slightly different variation in this at the weekend...

At a friend's BBQ and was chatting to wife...

She was telling me how how 4yr old desperately wanted to join the ballet club at school. I said what a lovely idea but oh no that was totally the wrong thing to say!

She cant "stand the idea of her daughter doing something so girlie" - somewhat shocked at this I pointed out she was only 4 and probably wants to be with her friends.

I was very matter of factly told that if she did ballet, she would "have to take up judo or something to counteract the girlieness and strengthen her up"

At this point I glanced over at my DD and looking at how she is solid muscle. From nothing but daily ballet training, excused myself and suggested to my DH it was time to leave.

I didn't dare open my mouth until I was safely home

[shygirlsmum]

My sister in law and her mother make comments about how awful it would be if my niece wanted to dance (age 5) imagine my delight when neice announces she wants to be just like her big cousin and start dance ???? Every time I see her we get a full demo if good toes/naughty toes and best butterfly impression ????????????

[annaliesey]

Ooooooooo Nooooooooo 'health and safety' and no police check......................

 

 

Sounds like rubbish to me people who hire premises usually take on that risk don't they?

[Picturesinthefirelight]

If you hire school premises you have to have public liability insurance & a DBS check.

[balletbean]

If you hire school premises you have to have public liability insurance & a DBS check.

I kindly informed the school that I actually have had the full DBS check and can present my certificate should they require it. I did feel like saying that the check is out of date as soon as the certificate is issued, but refrained from telling them that. 

 

Nope, because 'they did not conduct the search themselves'!!!  As we all know, no schools or establishments do. All businesses have to apply to the same records office, their excuse was beyond a polite reply. 

 

I put the kettle on instead.  Grrrrrr

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Just as an aside have you registered for the new Update Service

 

It means that DBS checks can now be portable & employers/voluntary organisations will receive an update if any information changes on a person they have checked.

 

(Exceot the person in charge of chaperone licences at my LA hadn't heard of this service which for someone in her position is appalling)

 

But even my husband, a teacher, was not allowed to hire a practice roomin his own school for a private lesson due to safeguarding!!!!

Edited September 28, 2016 by Picturesinthefirelight

[balletbean]

Just as an aside have you registered for the new Update Service

 

It means that DBS checks can now be portable & employers/voluntary organisations will receive an update if any information changes on a person they have checked.

 

(Exceot the person in charge of chaperone licences at my LA hadn't heard of this service which for someone in her position is appalling)

 

But even my husband, a teacher, was not allowed to hire a practice roomin his own school for a private lesson due to safeguarding!!!!

Thank you, Yes, I learnt all about the portable DBS yesterday. Unfortunately only available to those that have had their check completed within 19 days. Otherwise I have to wait for another application to be processed then apply for the portable to be added. Shame nothing was mentioned when I first applied. After all these pieces of paper are out of the date the day after they are issued. 

 

I am totally supportive of safety checks are concerned but this was for my own daughter. I've been a parent at the school for 17 consecutive years and a past pupil.

 

Common sense out the window.  

Edited September 28, 2016 by balletbean

[annaliesey]

I thought the DBS was only required where children or vulnerable adults would be left unsupervised by that person?

[Picturesinthefirelight]

It's totally ridiculous anneliesy.

 

I've just come out of a meeting at work where I've been told our gas engineers have got to have DBS checks or we won't be allowed to service boilers in a hospital or 6th form college even though they have no unsupervised contact.

 

The world has gone mad.

[DancingShoes]

My gas engineers are all enhanced DBS checked and we still have schools who will only let them work out of school hours! And usually they're only in the boiler room.

[annaliesey]

oh you have gas engineers too Dancingshoes. I have one (my hubby) and he too is DBS but has no intention of ever being left alone with children (or pets). We mostly work for consumers / people in their own homes and you would be surprised at the people who just say they are going to pop out to the shop and can "little johnny" stay with him. His answer is always No, take your children with you or I'll go and come back when you return. It's just generally surprising how people can be in their own homes! 

[DancingShoes]

Luckily we don't deal with domestic customers only commercial but I can imagine what it's like! The world has definitely gone mad ????

[annaliesey]

sorry, I know I contributed to de-railing this thread with talk of heating engineer DBS's etc (still a bit bemused really but hey ho). 

 

I've another question for people who have been through the school system and successfully managed to balance things out.... 

 

My son did 13 GCSE's. It was at a time when 'English Baccalaureate' was fashionable. He did maths, english, sciences, a language, a humanities, and then a bunch of other subjects including Drama, RE, ICT etc. 

 

Anyway, I'm thinking ahead for DD (currently year 8). I can't imagine that she would benefit from doing as many GCSE's. Can anyone advise on what choices we might have so that we lessen the amount of non-core subjects. My view is that she can pick some of these up later on in life if she wishes but I don't want to over-burden her during her GCSE years.  I'd really like her to focus on maths, english, a science, and then she would probably choose from PE, Drama, Art, Textiles, Food & Nutrition, oh and trampolining! 

 

Is there a minimum they need to take at school does anyone know?

[ParentTaxi]

It will depend enormously on the school and how it is timetabled.

 

My DC's school has 5 'option blocks' - so most people do:

- 5 core GCSEs (maths, 2x Science, 2x English)

- 5 options, which will include e.g. 2 core languages, art, PE, drama, design, childcare, business

and thus end up with 10 GCSEs0

 

A few children will do fewer - so they will do 1x English, maybe just core Science, and have 1 option block taken up with study skills to support all their other subjects, so they may come out with 7-8.

 

A few children will do more, because some subjects - 2 additional languages, Dance - can be studies after school.

 

However, other schools arrange compulsory and option blocks differently - they may require 3x Science, half a GCSE RE and only allow 3 option blocks, for example.