Worried about someone I know

[DancingtoDance]

I am worried about someone I know, their health and well-being and their safety due to their health and well-being. I don't want to get in trouble as I pretty much have promised not to say anything but I also don't want anything to happen. I want to remain anonymous if I report this but I am afraid I may not be able to, which could lead to problems.

 

How can I remain anonymous? Or should I just not say anything, risking this person's safety and possibly their life?

 

This may not be an immediate situation, but is a situation that may warrant attention and is a situation where I am genuinely concerned about someone else's safety.

Edited May 8, 2016 by DancingtoDance

[DancingtoDance]

The title may not be important, but I meant to post "Worried about someone I know" not "Worries about someone I know". It still conveys the same message though.

 

Edit: I realised you can fix the title and edited it, never mind!

Edited May 8, 2016 by DancingtoDance

[Anna C]

Is the person an adult, i.e. 18 or older? Or a young person.

 

If it is a young person then do you have an adult you can trust? If there is someone you can go to with your concerns, without initially identifying the person in question, that might be a good starting place.

 

Here in the UK we have various organisations for children and young people to seek advice in confidence via phone or the internet. One of these is called ChildLine but there are others. Is there anything like that where you are?

[DancingtoDance]

I think they are 18. So legally they would be be an adult (albeit a young one) and out of secondary school. Actually now reevaluating the situation, I don't really have a way to report this except for by telling people who are friends of this people, or I can tell the Head of Year or someone in my school who is in a position of authority.

 

I guess I can tell the Head of Year or someone in a similar position but I don't know how that will be useful now that they are out of school. Unless the Head of Year contacts parents and warns them.

 

No I don't think there is anything like ChildLine where I live.

 

So I can either tell this person's friends, and/or I can tell someone in my school who is a position of authority (this person graduated from my school).

 

Do you think either would be useful and how?

 

The problem with the former is that I don't think this person's friends know about the situation, and with the latter is that this person is out of secondary school so the people in my school aren't exactly responsible for this person anymore.

Edited May 8, 2016 by DancingtoDance

[aileen]

If this person is only 18 then the most obvious people to share your concerns with are his/her parent(s) unless of course the problem concerns the person's parent(s) or s/he has a bad relationship with his/her parent(s). You are stuck between a rock and a hard place; telling and not telling both carry risks. Can you say what you are concerned about. Is it an eating disorder, self-harm, drug taking, risky sexual behaviour, an abusive partner or something else? Sources of help and advice for you and for him/her will vary depending on the problem.

[Anna C]

Yes, I agree, aileen.

 

DtoD, you can seek advice from a trusted staff member at your school on how YOU deal with your concerns, but as the young adult in question has now left the school, the Head of Year and school staff have no duty of care - and actually may not be allowed to get involved anyway as they have no connection with an ex-pupil.

 

Who you speak to does really depend on what the nature of the problem is. If it is something illegal, then could an adult seek advice from the Police on your behalf? I agree that much also depends upon this young adult's relationship with his or her parents. And not even their outward relationship with their parents, because a seemingly loving relationship to outsiders can hide problems in the home.

[DancingtoDance]

Thanks for your answers. I do not have a way of telling this person's parents.

 

Let's just say this young adult is in

danger of taking their own life at some time or the other and they may be considering it. It may not however be an immediate situation (e.g. they may not be in immediate danger) They were in the hospital and probably still getting help but fooled the doctors. On discharge they were far from out of danger but probably only I know about this. I think their parents are extremely cautious but that is not always enough.

Edited May 8, 2016 by DancingtoDance

[DancingtoDance]

Thank you everyone for your advice.

[Jan McNulty]

Hello DtoD, sadly in my lifetime I have known 3 people who have committed suicide because of their depression.  If the person you know has suicidal tendencies because they are depressed and, given their age, I would try to find a way to express your concerns to their parents.

 

Depression is a dreadful illness and one of my very wise friends has said that someone who is very depressed needs to have reached the position of wanting to be helped before anything can be done to help them.

 

What you and any other friends/concerned adults can do is make sure you are there for that person when they need you and perhaps have already researched what facilities and services are available for when they may be needed.

[DancingtoDance]

Thank you Janet McNulty for your advice, I will try to get someone closer to them to tell their parents.

Edited May 8, 2016 by DancingtoDance

[alison]

DtD, I'd assumed you were in the UK, but it sounds as though you may not be.  Here there is a mental health charity helpline called SaneLine (unless it's changed its name since I last called them) - if there's something similar where you are, perhaps worth giving them a ring and running the situation past them?  My other thought would be somehow to get in touch with the staff at the hospital which treated her - it sounds as though you know which one this was? - and let them know of your concerns, because they would presumably be able to get a message down the line to those caring for this person.