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balletmum13
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Hi this is posted on behalf of another friend. Her dd came home from school and said that people are calling her anorexic and making fun of her weight. Her mum thinks she is at a fine weight and say she eats lots however it has made her a bit worried. Any advise to give her? Thanks

Edited by balletmum13
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I had this all through school and it continues now as an adult from friends work colleagues etc. I've been called a boy because I don't have boobs, accused of anorexia, bulimia, amongst other things. I accepted it as a fact of life but it isn't, it's blatant body shaming! It is utterly disgraceful, and I firmly believe a lot of the shaming in school stems from parental influence. The amount of posts I see on social media along the lines of "real men prefer curves only dogs go for bones" and "real women have curves". And don't get me started on Meghan Trainor. If kids are seeing this or this view point is perpetuated at home, kids think it's ok to mock others.

 

Children need to be told that it is wrong, all bodies are beautiful. Anorexia is not a weight it is a mental state, it's irresponsible, ignorant and harmful to make accusations like that.

 

I highly recommend your friend speaks to the school and asks for it to be addressed.

 

Apologies for ranting, it's just a matter that is very close to home!

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I second your views, Bluebird22 - and it wasn't a rant, just a passionate response, for obvious reasons. DD has had these kind of comments passed about her, with unwanted opinions expressed on how much and what she eats. She replies when she feels it necessary (otherwise she just treats the comments with the contempt they deserve) and comments along the lines of her being a certain shape and having some likes and dislikes regarding her diet being nobody else's business but her own and that she is happy that she is perfectly healthy for her frame size. 

 

 

I do think it should be reported to the school as something they need to address; can you imagine the reaction if she was making comments that a friend was fat, big etc? That would definitely be seen as bullying. In the same way, comments that she is anorexic are bullying (as well as ignorant).

 

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My DD has experienced this both ways....as she is a lot skinnier than the average girl at her school she has had the "anorexic" comments, but being somewhat curvier than many ballet dancers she's had to put up with "fattie" comments too. Fortunately, both are water of a ducks back as far as she is concerned, but comments of this nature are always unacceptable and if occurring in a school setting should, in my opinion be reported to teachers. It's bullying,and just as wrong as picking on someone because of their race, religion or whatever.

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Yup, report it to the school. Entirely inappropriate behaviour.

 

And on no account should she talk to a doctor or school nurse unless she independently thinks there's a problem: going to the authorities because of what some idiot kids have said is just going to validate their bullying.

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and its often motivated by jealousy - really slim people who are seen to enjoy eating whatever they like invariably wind up some less secure individuals.

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Balletmum13 what's the mum worried about? Is she worried that her dd might not be eating enough or is she worried about how to support dd with these comments?

 

I'd probably talk to Pastoral care person at school and highlight the bullying so that they can get on and address it at school

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Myself and my dd are extremely slim and unfortunately I have to say that this kind of thing is quite common, I'm not sure if it's jealousy or what but I know that all my life I have had nasty and sarcastic comments made and now my daughter is getting it too! We both eat very well and I know that it's just our genetic make up that makes us so slim as it runs in the family. I would defiantly make the school aware of the situation and maybe they could give a talk on different body shapes, and as long as the little girl is eating a good varied diet I wouldn't worry at all!! Best of luck with the situation :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just to say if you are worried about the comments made to your dd then definitely have a meeting with the school, that is if it has a pastoral care system, which unfortunately is lacking in some schools, even if they say they have one in place... If situation not addressed by school then probably better to take it further. horrible comments to girls really can get them down..

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