Help pep talk needed for failed lower school audition

[Sugarpumpkin]

Hi,

Just wondered if any members could give my 10 year old daughter some desperately needed advice. Despite being a JA and a LJB associate , she has failed to get through to the Elmhurst finals for entry yr 7????I know this isn't the end of the world but to her it is. It was hideous telling her last night the result. It's not like we even expected she would make finals but it's hard when her JA friends have got through... Could anybody tell me what to do re her ballet? I guess we chalk this up to experience and plod on , all part of a being on the vocational roller coaster... But has anyone got any ballet advice to help her get a bit of confidence back( especially before her Tring and RBS auditions).

[Aklf]

It is hard for them at such a young age to manage the knocks but I think you can reassure her that she clearly has plenty of talent and lots of potential to be selected for 2 top quality associate programmes. Imagine how many children tried and were unsuccessful where she was one of the few selected. Also, from what I hear and read it seems that all of the main vocational schools look for slightly different qualities in a dancer so what's a match for Elmhurst may not be right for RBS etc and at the next audition she may well be selected where her friends may not be. It's all swings and roundabouts! Dancers all have their unique qualities and determination and resilience is quite high up the list of prerequisites for dc and their parents. I would let her know that was only her first audition and what you learn from a setback can be a great deal more than getting a yes first time. Could be nerves even? I would tell her to put it down to experience and use everything from that to go into the next audition with head held high and do her best. That's all you can ask. Best of luck to her for next audition!

[Sugarpumpkin]

Thankyou so much for your sensible and kind reply , it certainly helped to put things into perspective. I'll certainly take your advice re what to tell her! Thank goodness for this forum!

[amos73]

HI Sugarpumpkin

 

I would agree with Aklf that nerves can really play a part in how a DC comes across in audition. After all they have an hour or so to stand out in a large group and if they feel nervous or shy then they may just not catch the auditioner's eye. I think Aklf has given you very wise advise, and good luck with the next lot.

[Pups_mum]

I don't think there is anything you can do really. At this stage they are mainly looking for potential,not actually current attainment, and she obviously does have potential or she would not have been chosen for those associate programmes. But for some reason, which in all honesty you will probably never know, it wasn't her day at Elmhurst this time. That's not to say that she won't be successful at a different school or a different time - as the song goes, you just have to pick yourself up, brush yourself down and start all over again. It is really tough when they are little, especially when friends are celebrating, but no today definitely doesn't have to mean no forever.

It's easier said than done, but try not to take any of it personally (hard when it is the most important person in your life who is upset) and state positive.

[Nancy19]

It's only a 'no' for now not forever X

[Mae989]

Sugarpumpkin my DD was in exactly the same position last year and even though neither of us felt that way at the time, the no is what made her even more determined in the long run. It still hurts for her now, it certainly did hit her very hard watching all her close ballet friends get recalls, it changed her....but it made her stronger too. What she has now is a grit and determination that all those who got to finals didn't seem to have. She went into her next auditions and was awarded a place at another vocational school where she is as we speak. She did get another no at RBS, which again was tough. But all those who got finals didn't eventually get a place, just a small handful. Which to me seemed even harder. At least a no at this stage means you can draw a line under it and move on stronger than before. It never seems that way at the time but I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason. We don't always see it at the time but life has a way of working its path for us and we will end up exactly where we are meant to be in the end.

What is important to remember is it isn't who gets a place now, it's who gets a job at 19. So much can happen between now and then, there are many more routes to that end. Onwards and upwards!x

[Billyelliott]

Dear DD of sugar pumpkin my son was in a similar position in the year he auditioned to start vocational school for year seven. He was an RBS associate in London . He did not get selected along with all his other classmates and friends and is one of the only ones that wasn't. He was ready to 'throw himself out the bedroom window' on the first night he found out,but after two days he had another audition and in the end got a place at Elmhurst where he is fulfilling his dreams to the present day .

Please don't despair you may never know the reasons why but everything will work out for the best !

if your passion is to dance you will find a way to dance!

Have a good cry and punch a few pillows and then pick up your chin and don't forward ????????????

I can't find any ballerinas xxx

Edited November 10, 2015 by Billyelliott

[Lisa O`Brien]

What a lovely message to Sugarpumpkin`s daughter, Billyelliott. Such nice words.  Sugarpumpkin, I hope your daughter is able to put it all down to experience and come out of it the other end in a positive frame of mind. I also believe that everything happens for a reason,even if we cannot see it or understand it at the time. The best of luck to her.!

[Lou78]

Hi Sugerpumpkin I do hope your DD is ok this whole process is extremely hard . I know I have had sleepless nights about it. It's difficult to know what to say as your DC will look to you to know exactly what to say or do. I agree with Mae989 though it will make your DD stronger . My DD is also a JA and her class isn't very friendly at all she gets looks like she shouldn't be there and has had to overcome this , but it has made her more determined. Anyway the DC that go to finals not all will get offered a place as the stakes get more competitive, by which time your lovely DD will have probably secured something. There's still bags of hope don't let her think there isn't xx

[Sugarpumpkin]

Billyelliot and everyone,

 

Thankyou so much for taking the time to reply and for your very kind, caring  messages. I haven't posted much before and I am very grateful for all your responses In fact I read them out to my DD earlier tonight ...for the first time in 24 hours we had a smile on her face. Thankyou  again , there's one 10 year old who is a lot happier tonight ( and so is her mum!).

[w445403]

As everyone has said, the schools all want different things. DS was not selected for finals at Elmhurst but did make finals elsewhere and was offered places at two other schools. Who knows what they are looking for, I just said that everything happens for a reason and maybe the right thing is waiting to happen.

He's now unbelievably happy where he is and, in his words, is living the dream!

 

His ballet teacher said to him that selecting dancers at auditions was very hard, It's like when you open a box of biscuits, you want them all, they're all yummy and look delicious, but you can only choose one or two. It doesn't make the others less yummy!

[Cara in NZ]

Such good replies from you all! It struck a chord as DD got a no last year from the only JA scheme here, and just had her second attempt on Sunday. So we are waiting for results, but this time are much more philosophical about it all. She isn't at all sure she even wants to dance as a career, so we had a long chat about needing to keep your options open at this age (She is just 12). But at the same time, not passing up opportunities. I'm also emphasising resilience as a key tool for life, especially in the dance world. Our other motto is 'Dance is something you do: it's not who you are'. I don't want it to be what her identity is based on as there is so much more to life... (well, people who don't dance seem to do all sorts of cool stuff!)

[Gowiththeflo]

His ballet teacher said to him that selecting dancers at auditions was very hard, It's like when you open a box of biscuits, you want them all, they're all yummy and look delicious, but you can only choose one or two. It doesn't make the others less yummy!

 

What a lovely analagy!

 

I *would* eat the whole box of biscuits tho......????????