Is my dd/ds doing too much?

[All4dancers]

Three years ago, I noticed that my older dd (who doesn't want to be a dancer, but takes classes just for the sheer love of it) was beginning to develop scoliosis. The doctors said we must just watch and wait and over the next couple of years, I watched as her spine became more and more twisted. However, she continued to dance and although her breathing became affected, she retained good mobility. Last year, her curve became so bad she had a major operation which involved a bone graft and rods and screws to straighten her spine. I knew this was necessary, but couldn't help but be heartbroken, knowing how much she loved to dance and thinking that this wouldn't be possible at least not for a year or so. After her operation, the physio remarked that she had made one of the quickest recoveries that she'd ever seen. I'm positive that this was due to the strength ballet had given her and the physio agreed. She had the op on the Tuesday and was home 3 days later. 6 weeks after, her consultant agreed that she could begin gentle barre exercises again. 8 months after her operation, she took part in her dance school show and unless you looked closely and saw her scar, you would never think that she had had such an operation. I think that the time she spends at ballet classes has certainly paid off!

[Sheila Beelam]

That's amazing All4dancers and a tribute to the determination of your DD!

[Anjuli_Bai]

Going off the topic slightly, but the other interfering comment I loathe is "what's the point?" As in, "if she's not going to earn her living doing this, what's the point in carrying on?" People seem to fail to understand that dance has an intrinsic value. I usually mutter something about transferable skills and it keeping her fit etc, which is true, but what I really should say is "Because it's beautiful and she loves it. Dancing makes her happy and watching makes me happy. Being happy is good!"

 

When people ask these kinds of questions they are putting you on the defensive. The question assumes you do not have the ability to think about this for yourself and they need to prompt you. It's just unkind - and none of their business.

 

Playing defense is never a good place to be and it ruins your day and beyond as obviously we long remember stuff like this and feel hurt and uncomfortable.

 

Thus, I've learned when someone says this kind of hurtful stuff - I just thank them for their concern and do not discuss it further. The only people who should be in this conversation about a family decision are the parents and the child.

 

Do I get caught playing defense - yes, it still happens. But less and less. People soon learn the hunting season is closed.

[taxi4ballet]

A few years back, the daughter of a family friend of ours was mad keen on dance, singing and performing arts in general. After finishing school she went to a vocational performing arts school, and everybody was saying all the usual things, what is the point etc, she's never going to make a career out of it and so on.

 

Well, naming no names, she is now world-famous and a lot of people had to eat their words!

[aileen]

taxi4ballet, can't you name her? I'd love to know who she is. You don't have to name the doubters.

[taxi4ballet]

Aileen, will send you a pm.

[Anna C]

Ooh, I want to know too! :-)

[Jan McNulty]

Me toooooooooooo please!

[Anna C]

Aren't we nosey! :-D

[Sheila Beelam]

I'm nosy too!!!

[taxi4ballet]

Just think 'Celebrity Couple'. The first one that pops into your head will probably be right...

[swe]

You lot are such a laugh sometimes! What a shame we can't do a coffee together and 'compare notes'-I don't seem to have all this stuff in common with my friends as hardly any of their dds/dss do dance

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Was she a Laines girl?

[tomuchtallent]

I think i know!! victoria Beckham maybe??

[taxi4ballet]

Crikey, I feel like I've inadvertantly stumbled across the Performing Arts branch of the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency

 

Anyhow, back to the original purpose of this thread...

 

Over the weekend dd was dancing in a show - she does tap and modern at that particular dance school - and was chatting to the older (age 16/17) girls she was sharing a dressing room with. They asked what ballet grade she was in, and were a bit taken aback to find it was grade 8. A couple of them said that they felt really far behind, so dd explained how many classes she does.

 

It really made them sit up, I think, as none of them had the foggiest clue that one ballet class a week wasn't enough.

[robin64]

16 and 17 year olds have a lot of school work commitments so 1 ballet lesson might be enough for them. I am not so sure it is always a good thing to compare age and grades. Everyone is different.

[aileen]

Those older girls may be doing ballet as a hobby, with no thoughts of a career in dance. Ballet may be one of a number of interests for them.

[balletbun]

What if one ballet class a week is all that their parents can afford at the minute ?

[Anna C]

Most of the older girls in dd's classes locally are once-a-week girls who have a lot of schoolwork and find ballet a nice way of getting some exercise. I think it's a lovely hobby. They are a completely different kettle of fish to my dd but they know her ambitions and are completely accepting of her, despite her being the only 13 yr old.

 

Their ballet obviously gives them something other than GCSE and A'level work to focus on. :-)

 

Ballet is for anyone of any age, regardless of whether it's once a week or every day. Physical constraints allowing, of course! :-)

[taxi4ballet]

The thing is, at this particular school, there is only the one class a week for them, and I know that a couple are thinking they would like to take it further, but they genuinely didn't realise that they weren't doing enough...

[Anna C]

Point them in the direction of balletcoforum taxi! :-)

[aileen]

Taxi, unfortunately, as in other areas of life, lack of knowledge can restrict opportunities. I don't know whether the school is at fault here for not informing those students who are thinking about taking ballet further that they need to be doing more than one class a week or whether those students' naivety (suggesting perhaps a lack of drive and ambition) can fairly be criticised.

[rowan]

I'm not sure naivety suggests a lack of drive and ambition. After all, if students are chugging on through the grades, even on one class a week, they are making progress. But getting Grade 8 ballet is just not going to be enough, is it, whereas getting Grade 8 in piano might be enough to get a student a place at conservatoire or university. I know the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority(?) say they're the same level, but I don't think I believe that. I've met young dancers who have no idea that the vocational grades even exist because their dance school doesn't teach them. I remember being astounded a few years ago when DD's dance school said she needed to be doing four classes a week, and that seemed a huge amount, and she does a lot more than that now.

[Pas de Quatre]

That's right, Grade 6, 7 & 8 in music are very serious, and the equivalents in ballet are the Vocational exams. I really don't know why the RAD is allowed to use the names Grade 6, 7 & 8 for recreational exams as it is misleading for the layman (layperson?).

[spooky]

When I was a child the grade exams were called 'Children's graded exams' on the certificates and only went up to grade 4 which most seemed to take at around age 10-12. After this it was either non-syllabus classes for the recreational dancer (me) or the vocational grades for more the more serious. I remember RAD intoducing a 'senior grade' exam to follow grade 4 for those not able/wanting to do the vocationals. I do remember girls having to take vocational exams several times and failure rates seemed quite high but perhaps this was just the school i went to.

[Pas de Quatre]

No Spooky - I doubt if it was the school you went to, there often seemed a mystery about why people passed or failed. It was a bit like taking the driving test!

[aileen]

Rowan, getting Grade 8 in a music exam (or being at that standard) might get you into a university or conservatoire but it wouldn't get you a job as a professional classical musician. As with ballet, those who are serious about a career as a classical musician go well beyond (and, in some cases, don't bother with) the graded exams I don't think that the graded music exams are as hard as the vocational ballet exams.

[tomuchtallent]

Everything at a high level is difficult no matter weather it is Piano, ballet,gymnastics,ect. But for music or ballet its how you perform, not a piece of paper telling you how good you are!

[taxi4ballet]

Taxi, unfortunately, as in other areas of life, lack of knowledge can restrict opportunities. I don't know whether the school is at fault here for not informing those students who are thinking about taking ballet further that they need to be doing more than one class a week or whether those students' naivety (suggesting perhaps a lack of drive and ambition) can fairly be criticised.

 

This particular dance school is a small one in a village hall - dd goes there for tap and modern because it is two minutes away, the hall is used by others some evenings so the teacher is limited in the number of classes she can offer.

 

I agree completely with the other comments on here about grades not being the ultimate guide.

[Anna C]

Rowan, getting Grade 8 in a music exam (or being at that standard) might get you into a university or conservatoire but it wouldn't get you a job as a professional classical musician. As with ballet, those who are serious about a career as a classical musician go well beyond (and, in some cases, don't bother with) the graded exams I don't think that the graded music exams are as hard as the vocational ballet exams.

 

I don't think you can compare the two, to be honest. Plus it depends on the instrument, of course - my dd's singing exam scores are much easier to read than her piano exam pieces. But even then it's like comparing apples with oranges.

[rowan]

My point about the standard graded exams is that I think they're misleading to young people if they think that's the indication of the amount of hours they need to put in and the standard they need to be to get into an upper school. I know that Grade 8 in a music exam isn't an indication of professional standard, but it is does indicate a basic minimum standard (often gained at a relatively young age) that seems more generally accepted in the music world for entry into their "upper schools" or university.

[tomuchtallent]

my son was grade 8 piano at 11. It only indicate the general level of a person ability.The top main music vocational schools in the Uk dont care about grades, its all about the audition, they say by 11/12 you must be about grade 8 or above standard.

 

The good thing about it is if you get into a music vocational school you automatically get a MDS!!

Edited May 28, 2012 by tomuchtallent

[Happymum]

My daughter (8,5) does normally 3 ballet classes and 2 Pilates classes a week plus a few feet exercises every evening at home. On top of that is swimming and country dancing once a week. She would love to have ballet class every day but I said that it's to much for her and to much for my pocket. I was lucky not to hear any bad comments till few days ago when a health professional ( !!!!!! ) said that she is working to hard. My daughter disagree, she never feels or looks tired. But it certainly made me feel bad and guilty.