So...Where do I start.
I have been doing ballet for about 5 years. Ever since I started my dream was to join a company one day. I never had perfect technique. I guess I was average for my age. I have attended 2 summer intensives and have been on pointe for about 3 years. Where I live there are no great quality ballet schools or even dance studios. The past two years I have gone to summer intensives I have always been very happy and motivated while doing so and coming back from them. But over the past year, I have lost my motivation and passion for ballet. Maybe it is due to covid and everything that had to be shut down, but it's also because I realized that I could never become a professional with the type of training I am receiving, and also I knew I couldn't become a professional unless I improved exponentially. So, I just stopped trying to do my best in ballet class. Now, at the end of this year, I am so disappointed with myself. I lost an entire year worth of dancing. I do not think I have improved at all. Now I am behind my peers and I have lost hope.
But now, I have found inspiration again because I have realized that I do not want to go on with dancing ballet doing it half way. I only have a few years left before legally becoming an adult and really having no hope at all to become a great dancer. (not saying that adult beginners can't become great dancers. Just that it's much harder to start older) I missed the cutoff for the registration for the ballet summer intensive I auditioned for, but I still have a chance to join. I want to improve a lot this summer. A small part of me still dreams to become part of a ballet company. Hypothetically, what do I need to do to make that happen? Maybe not join a company, but to be good enough to be pre-Professional? I feel stuck. I wish I could turn back time to try harder in dance to become a better dancer. I really want to make it happen.
What is your honest advice? What would you do if you were in this situation?
