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Ruby Foo

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  1. Perhaps you haven’t seen my previous posts Emeralds. My dd obviously didn’t tick any of the right boxes! She was assessed out after a year of verbal abuse that literally crushed her. As I said before in another post that was shut down, she cried every day that year and more than in the whole of her 17yrs. At one point the teacher in question put a line of 6 girls in 1st cast, a line of 6 girls in 2nd cast and then sniggered to my daughter that ‘ ‘oh dear, looks like you’ll need to be in 3rd cast won’t you?’ Picked up her bag and left the room. There was no 3rd cast. It was a completely unnecessary comment to undermine her already non existent confidence. She was broken that night. Not because she wasn’t good enough to be in the performance but because of the underhand nastiness, the lack of helpful communication. What help was that comment? It did not help her gain more strength/ improve her technique/ gain more artistry. What it did do was humiliate and belittle her. The teacher bullied her in every class for a whole year ( from 3rd week in Upper School) because she was frustrated that my dd was not good enough. The teacher told me she did not have a good body for Classical Ballet. Having been accepted for Upper School, this was fairly concerning. None of this was to do with weight or physical appearance and I stand by my previous post that the messages she was receiving regarding that subject were extremely positive. I do, however completely take your point that a ‘rogue’ teacher, ( I have described one above) who is not part of the health team and not on board with the positive policies of the School can simply cause the worst damage imaginable with their words.
  2. Although I’ve been super critical of certain aspects of the experience at one of the mentioned schools, I do want to make the point that as regards the messages coming from the health team surrounding diet and nutrition, it was extremely positive and helpful. My dd was super well informed as a result, and this information will serve her well in the future I’m sure. It was the subliminal messages regarding assessments, the intense pressure accompanying those assessment’s and the results of the assessments that led her to make her own conclusions about what was desirable. At no time was she ever body shamed or witnessed it happening to others although obviously that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
  3. It may be a branch line but these connections all contribute to a healthy mind, a healthy dancer and a much stronger and exciting future for Ballet.
  4. I find it quite inspiring that dancers can still find their own artistic expression after the repressive training they receive. At no point during my dd’s training was she ever treated as an individual with her own mind or personality. Never considered or consulted on her training or asked for any input or feedback. There was certainly no collaboration or endeavour to treat her as a developing person with her own creative ideas. There was a choreography competition which could be used to self express and be creative, but as far as the school training was concerned, the word ‘machines’ comes to mind.
  5. While I find myself in disbelief at the ‘no marks at the assessment’ part, there is also no surprise. Other pupils who were injured were given a mark but not your dd? Was she wearing an invisibility cloak while she was there? When you enquire to see what’s going on, no one can be bothered to get back to you….. This is the kind of arrogance I have witnessed in some politicians over the years. Making up your own rules, answering to nobody. Thank you for posting as with everyone else’s posts. I can empathise with most. It is not easy, any of it
  6. I apologise to those who haven’t had this experience at this establishment
  7. I second this. There is diversity and an energy within this school that we haven’t experienced anywhere else.
  8. Lots of teachers out there who were ex-dancers may love ballet, but don’t love teaching. That’s where things can go wrong. If you genuinely love teaching, as I do, seeing a child bring their best into each class and develop as a person is the most rewarding thing. Unfortunately, some people just don’t see that. Thank you. Yes. Never a truer word. While the teachers in these institutions have all been through teacher training, they are also a product/ pro dancers of the SAME institution. This is precisely why they are taken on - to preserve the traditions and style of that institution. From my daughter’s experience there are some truly wonderful, wonderful teachers in that institution,( I cannot stress this enough) but there are also some who are not- who do not practice healthy teaching practice as we now know it in the contemporary ballet world. They are still ‘professional dancers’ but now teaching and are not the ‘best’ teachers out there by a long way. There are also professional ballet dancers who teach without any teaching qualifications, something which should not be happening. While they may have so much to offer, they may also use dangerous practices. My daughter was asked to do fouettés en pointe by a famous pro dancer having never done them and was definitely not ready to try. She had only done a little pointe work at the time. As we all know that would have needed months of preparation at the barre and strengthening exercises etc. When she told the dancer she’d never done them she was asked to ‘just try one or 2’. The dancer had not asked how much pointe work the class had done or offered any alternatives. Dangerous practices.
  9. None of what happens negatively in vocational schools needs to happen. If the AD/ Principal and teachers worked collaboratively with the students and stopped treating them as commodities which, when no longer needed or useful or become a problem, abandon or abuse them. The key -mutual respect for each other. This means time. Time for dialogue, time for communication, time to forge relationships and time to build trust. Time to actually know your pupils as individuals. Only then, can you work out what they need, what are their gaols, who are they? and how best to teach them. It’s not rocket science. This is not about what goes on in the studio. It’s about what goes on in peoples heads. If students truly believed that teachers cared for them and ultimately strived for the very best in pursuit of their happiness and dreams then there would be less injury, less self harm, more joy and productivity. The classes are small 13?15? How can you not know your own students as individuals? There needs to be a clear contract between the 2 parties where schools make a promise to the student to support, nurture and bring out their full potential. This may be there in theory but it is NOT HAPPENING IN PRACTICE except for the very small minority. And when it doesn’t happen, schools must be accountable. They must. They must now be accountable for their failure every and each time it happens. Every child (not just the 2 per cent super talented) is worth the time and trouble. Every child, even if difficulties arise along the way ( we know and expect they will) should be treated with respect. My daughter was assessed out at 18yrs. There was no communication whatsoever regarding gently redirecting her dance training into something more suitable. They did not know her as a person at all and had no idea what she might have liked to use all her training for. They’d never bothered. They probably already knew from the beginning she wasn’t worth the effort in their eyes. This was certainly borne out by the vicious teacher’s abusive behaviour in Upper School. In fact, my dd said later - I don’t think the AD knew my name until the Assessment. She was being truthful. She’d been there since yr 9 (5yrs) and on the couple of occasions she’d met him, he’d called her the wrong name.
  10. Some of the words sent in a text message at the time of the abuse crushed beat down lost her way lost herself massively set back in every way. They describe perfectly what was happening before our eyes. My daughter had a perfect physical (proportions) attributes and was as confident as they come. In her first vocational school she was very happy and she thrived. Parents and children shouldn’t be blamed for the abuse of teachers who are there to nurture them and help them realise their potential.
  11. I am very interested to read this report and to contrast it with my dd’s experience. I am also curious to understand how this could possibly satisfy some as to being the whole truth. My dc was at one of the 2 schools discussed on the program until last year. My DC was a diligent, thoughtful and compliant student. Reports from the school suggest as much. Under no circumstances would my dc have EVER reported bullying, abuse or any negative behaviour from teachers, the houseparents or the school in general whether it was completely confidential or not. The clue is in the ‘all students behave impeccably’. Of course they do, because each and everyone would do ANYTHING to remain in the school, to go to upper school and to be accepted to the Company. And I do mean ANYTHING, such is their mindset. In the early days they may not even have been aware of some of the very subtle abuse taking place such is the nature of a’Ballet class’ There is much in the report that my dc would uphold as being practiced such as the very positive messages about nutrition, physical health and well being. Those messages certainly got through to my dc and we applaud those messages which my dc found extremely helpful throughout her training. However, this is where one has to be there to understand how complex the system is and how a report, no matter it’s good intentions, will not give a true picture. We moved house twice so my dc would be able to be a day girl at both vocational schools she attended. This was done to safeguard her physical and mental health. She would be able to come straight home and communicate how her day had been and we would be able to listen, provide healthy nutrition and home comfort. If there were any issues we vowed to deal with them immediately. During lockdown, my dc was made to board at WL. This coincided with her application and audition to Upper School something she wanted more than anything in the world. In her mind she needed to do 3 things - be technically perfect and strong, be artistically beautiful and be physically suitable. She was already physically ( in terms of proportions) perfect. But she was not stupid. She saw her friends be assessed out in yr 9 and drew conclusions from that and from those who had been accepted for upper school previously. In her mindset she was not good enough. She worked herself to the bone… literally. I did not see her. She was boarding now at school and unable to come home. When I finally saw her I was horrified. She had lost a massive amount of weight in such a short time. I called the school. They had not noticed despite seeing her in leotard and tights every day. The nurse was very concerned. My dd did not have a period after this for nearly 2 years. They immediately told her she must sit out of dance in front of her whole class. It was humiliating for her. They did not call me or tell me what the situation was or how we were going to deal with it. There was absolutely no communication whatsoever. I had to call them. The insensitivity was astounding and added to the mental stress she obviously already felt. My dc would not want me to tell you this or to report any negative behaviour by the school but I’m going ahead to beg you how to look beyond a report. I would also query the statement ‘behaviour and relationships between pupils and with staff are excellent’ From our experience, students are very quiet and careful to always do the right thing because that is the code they understand. The AD is a distant and revered figure who appears very little, if at all, and there is certainly no opportunity to build a relationship with them.
  12. My dc was at another vocational school beforehand and was extremely happy. Others may have been having a thoroughly miserable time but she did not witness it. This is why it is so difficult to pin down. Because while let’s say 10 students in the class are having the experience they realistically hoped for, 3 students might be going through hell.
  13. It is unfathomable to me how any teacher thinks that making a student cry in class is beneficial in achieving the desired gaol of bringing the best of their potential, let alone a teacher at a renowned institution. Yet I know this happened plenty times in my dc’s class ( sometimes daily)and was ignored by the teacher. This was last year. The student is crying because the teacher has made them feel so hopeless, humiliated and powerless. It certainly does only scratch the surface of a very complex and entwined set of issues which have been left to fester for years due to a culture of fear. Another 10 series like this and we may be starting to touch on the issues. With due respect to your point of view, as a ex dancer, teacher and parent of an ( now ex dancer) this is not how we feel. And surely that’s the point, that students and dancers should feel they are able to communicate and work as a partnership with the school.
  14. This is all so our experience. When it became clear that verbal abuse in class was taking place on a daily basis, my dc, though admitting she wasn’t sure she could take it anymore, begged and begged us not to speak out because it was well known what happened to those who challenged the system. Incidentally none of this related to body shaming and in her experience the school’s education and guidance on nutrition was extremely healthy and helpful.
  15. This is the same for us. We could not assist with this program as my dc simply cannot talk about what she refers to as ‘total trauma’. At 18, after a year of bullying in upper school and being told her body was not suitable for ballet ( nothing to do with weight issues) and finally being the only girl to be assessed out in 2nd year she is beginning again - taking A levels and planning a new life.
  16. My daughter wasn’t too young. She was in her first year in RBS Upper School when she was told by her teacher that she had a ‘very difficult body for Classical Ballet’ due to her hips. She had previously been at WL for 3 years. The Upper School physio spoke to me and agreed that her hips were very difficult. Later that same year she injured her hip (large labrel tear) and wasn’t given enough rest. We now know, through speaking to a top consultant she needed at least 3 months rest to have any chance of recovery. In 2nd year Upper School she danced through the pain and fell behind. I was told by her teacher to teach her at home. She was assessed out in 2nd year leaving with 1 A level and no degree which she had worked on for 2 years. She has now given up dancing as her labral tear enlarged during 2nd year (3d mri done privately, not at school) She was not physically assessed from WL to Upper School other than in class.
  17. This is very good advice although it’s difficult to find the exact statistics with students arriving and leaving on a termly/ yearly basis. In our own experience, at least 8 girls from my dds year at WL / Upper School have given up dance completely. I can’t say why except to say some were through injury or health type issues. As the training progresses the pressure also increases. It’s a pyramid which becomes extremely, extremely narrow at the top, ( understatement).For those of you just starting out, I can’t stress this enough. I say this so that you can become more creative and open minded as you go along and enjoy just one day at a time. Some important questions dancers need to ask themselves are ‘Am I a performer?’ In the general sense of that word? If Ballet can not happen for me then do I still want to be a performer? Because if the answer is yes, then it’s important to nurture other performance skills and styles alongside the Ballet training. I believe if you did these as a child and reached a reasonable level in them then you will be able to fall back on them at some point even if you haven’t studied them recently. Contemporary will be super important for the latter part alongside Classical training. Secondly, do I love Ballet for ballet’s sake? And not because I’m at a certain establishment which teaches a certain style in a certain way and has all the trappings that benefit a student. Ballet can be served many ways and can be a very different experience depending on where you are in the world. It can be quite a shock to find this out if you been in one arena all your training life. The employment prospects in Classical Ballet at present are very bleak indeed. Companies are just not taking dancers now and with the difficulties that Brexit has brought regarding visas it’s not looking good for the future. There are very VERY FEW vocational schools in the world good enough to produce classical dancers good enough to get one of those (very rare) jobs.
  18. If you already have a good relationship then you’re in a great place and moving apart just means making every effort to sustain it from a distance. Basically you will need to open every door possible for her to communicate with you, express her thoughts and feelings and know she can rely on you, practically and emotionally, even though you’re not right there. Top tips would be to take her out at every opportunity, not necessarily coming home but a day out for shared experiences and chat. Especially if that chat involves other things than dance! Ask plenty direct questions when she has time to chat giving her an opportunity to tell you about things she may have forgotten during the day. It’s very tiring at boarding school, not just the dance but just being in the same place all the time. Draining. So remembering to ask about friends, food, favourite teachers, what moods they were in, the houseparents, what she’s looking forward to etc helps to jog her memory and validates her as a person. At the same time remembering to tell her all about home, funny things the pets/ siblings did etc. will help to keep the bond. A wee parcel etc is really nice to receive if you can’t manage to see her. I think one of the problems is that coming home for a short time can result in all the nice sides of relationships because everyone wants it to be a happy time. Obviously, a relationship is dealing with the tricky aspects too, in which negotiating through these, give life skills. So when she comes home keep things as natural as possible.
  19. Great post! ‘Ballet is the long game’.
  20. A nice bright duvet cover and own pillow. Not sure if this is an intensive in a vocational school but some of the dorms can seem a bit gloomy and dull without the usual students decoration. Also a Tupperware full of snacks (healthy and chocolate?)some sliders and fluffy blanket to snuggle in the evenings.
  21. Not sure which part of London you are in but we had great treatment from the podiatrist at the Fairlee pharmacy in Battersea. The pharmacy has a treatment centre downstairs with sports massage, physio etc. The podiatrist had treated dancers before and did an excellent job. We booked an hour session.
  22. In UK, it’s probably Central or Conservatoire. I’m not sure about Elmhurst. In my experience, not many yr 11’s audition. I think possibly lower down the school it’s more a considered option.
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