Kat09

I’ll message you - please don’t worry.

A crystal ball would have been useful

Thank you so much 😊

My Ex DD left vocational school a term before graduation - left with nothing - a devastating time but let’s FF 5 years. After some hospitality and a ski season in the alps, a second ski season and subsequent Covid took her to enrol on line for some digital marketing courses/diplomas - not university and not OTT expensive. From these she was offered a digital marketing apprenticeship- not completed as tbh she recognised it was not helpful. On walking away, she was offered a marketing entry level position with a local company , 1 year later she made the move back to London to a well known estate agency chain - digital marketing executive. 18 months on and she’s just landed an amazing marketing management position at Sothebys Residential - I’m so so proud of her - she was broken by the ballet system and has put herself back together, she can recognise the transferable skill that her ballet training gave her and has utilised those to great affect. She harbours no bitterness or regret for her time at BS (me , that’s another matter!) The drive that took her to ballet school has returned - there is definitely life after the ballet - just go and grab it - your training and experiences are greatly valued by future employers. 😊

The girls used to be able to stay at Queen Alexandra House in Kensington. It was affordable at the time with a variety of rooms. All the ENBS girls were along the same corridor. Meals were included but quite often the girls weren’t back in time for the evening - kitchens were also available for them to self cater.

Yes and yes!! Thank goodness we are out the other side - there really is a great life outside of the ballet world - I just wish that the ballet schools would promote that to those who might decide not to pursue the ballet dream or have to, out of necessity change direction. These young dancers have so many transferable skills, so much to offer - there is no need to crush and destroy their self belief and self worth. Nor , I might add, their love of dance 😢

I think that the problem is , often that no two individuals are the same. A cohort of dancers enter the school and during the 3 years (talking US) follow the same path. Some thrive and some wither. This is why these teachers feel that they do no wrong - they don’t believe in nurture, they believe in doing what they have always done. Those that aren’t tough and resilient are seen as weak - the insidious passive aggressive comments start in the classroom, weaknesses rather than strengths are identified - self doubt creeps in and spirals - there is no safety net , the gap between the achievers and the also ran widens. Parental involvement is discouraged before ,suddenly, a big black hole appears and it’s too late to stop the spiral of despair - another young life broken, dreams shattered and families left to pick up the pieces. The schools can’t wait for the broken to leave, before graduation if possible, so graduate placements and school success aren’t affected. If you think that you can shield and protect your young dancers, believe me you are wrong - I tried - I failed - it’s been a long road to recovery - I feel for everyone of these young dancers affected and their parents. We’ve been out of the system for a good few years now but every year there are new examples of a regime that has little interest in change - there are far too many that want to chase their dream whatever the cost, to make a change of policy worthwhile. panorama is the tip of the iceberg, body shaming just one part of the puzzle, there is so much more that needs addressing.

It does doesn’t it - sadly this tutor has moved to another of the big institutions- I do hope that she has reflected on the delivery of her dialogue.

Exactly this - I was told by my daughters form teacher that “your daughter must hate to look at herself in the mirror everyday” perhaps the worst day of my life!! For clarity this was not at Elmhurst or RBS

Dance Anatomy by Jacqui Green Haas pristine condition £10 plus p&p The Anatomy of exercise and movement for the study of dance, Pilates, sports and yoga . Jo Ann Staugaard-Jones £10 plus p&p

Little used and no longer needed £20 plus p&p

My advice is to change her school & I don’t say that without knowledge of how difficult that is. If the tutor continues as is , no amount of counselling will change the outcome. Your daughter needs to be away for any healing to occur. The sooner the better . best wishes and good luck.

Pascale Autrand www.Pascale-autrand.com based in France but fluent in English and will work over zoom. Highly recommend.

You could check out balletcat.com (ballet de catalunya) we know of a dancer who was there for a year who moved to ballet de montecarlo and is now with Bordeaux Ballet. She highly rated her time with ballet de catalunya. good luck to your DD

Tring has an excellent ballet staff 1 of which used to be 2nd/3rd year ladies tutor at ENBS.

I have no involvement in this brand but it caught my eye and as a new British start up they can possibly do with some exposure. lovely leotards!! Mods please remove if not allowed. www.modadancewear.com

I would recommend contacting Rae and Paul at Chantry School of contemporary dance and Balletic Arts . Food luck

This is absolutely spot on. My dd left the ballet world depressed, anxious and quite frankly broken. I was as lost as she was - I’m a problem solver by nature and there was nothing I could do 😭 Bit by bit she found her way , a 2nd stint at ballet - mistake!! Working in a local hotel which helped a bit as she was given positive encouragement . The breakthrough came when she went away for a ski season , again working in a hotel , this led to a job with the same group on her return. Still not out of the woods in terms of happiness ; this came in the form of a 2nd ski season where her mojo returned and she “found” the person who wasn’t the broken dancer. while away she completed an online diploma in digital marketing. On her return she secured an apprenticeship in the same and , I’m so proud to say, has just secured a position with an international boat company doing the same. please let her take as much time as she needs, there may well be a couple (or more of false starts, there maybe depression and anxiety and anger - these have to be worked through , god willing your daughter will emerge stronger and more beautiful than you can imagine right now . I wish her and you all the best. If you want to message me and chat , I’m here .

Congratulations to all those with a yes - I’ll offer more perspective for those feeling bruised today. DD didn’t go away at 11 - she wasn’t even an associate at that point , knew nothing of WL or anywhere else. In year 11 she had multiple offers for Upper Schools both in the UK and abroad (she still didn’t become a ballerina) Enjoy having your DC at home for as long as possible - these are years that you can’t get back - going away at 11 can take a toll - vocational school is a stepping stone , not an end goal ; there are many routes that can lead to a career in dance . Good luck and best wishes to all of you and your DC .

This is a fantastic thread and I think will be so useful to others that come to the end of the ballet Road, and at that time feel bewildered and alone with nowhere to turn. I walked in those shoes, my daughter suffered massively within the upper school vocational system. At times I felt that none of us would survive, let alone recover. It's been a long road, still bearing scars (they are deep), my daughter has taken time out, educated herself online and secured an apprenticeship as a digital marketing executive. 3 months in she was awarded a payrise and now after 6 months a permanent position. Through her own hardwork she has earned the respect of her boss and cohorts and this in turn has given her the self respect and self belief that her ballet school stole from her. Without going into specifics, before we left, just a term before graduation, I stated to the school that my beautiful daughter was broken - what could they do but agree, sadly they didn't seem to care. With hindsite I should have been strong enough to remove dd much much earlier, but for all the reasons so eloquently stated before, we kept the pep talks going, the physio appointments, the private lessons etc etc. We tried to buy happiness for our daughter, we tried not to let the dream slip away but in the end we all have to face the truth that the happiness and joy have to come from within, it can't be bought.... Once it slips away it is time to leave the ballet world behind because to keep doing something that brings pain and sadness is a form of madness and it will end in nothing but tears. Wishing all you wonderful ballet mums and your beautiful dancing children only good things. I do love to still watch the journeys that come to life through this forum. Thank you for sharing both the good and the bad. Always cheering you on!

Has had little use. Retails at £170 + Asking 110 plus postage if unable to collect (South Coast Hampshire)

A variety of pointe shoes all £10 per pair plus postage Bloch Sonata Strong C size 4 Bloch Aspirations SO105L 4.5 C 4 pairs Grishko Nova 2007 size 4.5 width XX Shank M 13 pairs Roll of Grishko ribbon £7

If you ha e email or whatsapp I'll send pictures

If you have email or WhatsApp I'll send pictures

We are moving house and I'm having a clear out - I have many ballet books that might be helpful for vocational students. Please get in touch if you are interested