Simply Adult Ballet: the progress of one adult dancer who took up ballet later in life

[Fiz]

I hope it is, Michelle. My husband has just had his Monday date for his cataract operation postponed until the 31st. I’ve had to cancel all my allergy clinic appointments until the end of September. I hope things go well for Adrian. 

[Jan McNulty]

I do hope Adrian's Prostatectomy goes according to plan and that he has a good recovery Michelle.

 

Please keep us updated.

 

Best wishes to you both.

[Angela Essex]

3 hours ago, Michelle_Richer said:

Things have moved on a bit since my last posting.

 

Having heard nothing from his Urology Surgeon by the 1^st of July, I wrote to him on Adrian's behalf, even offering to fill a cancelled slot at a moments notice if it came up, as I was convinced it would be another lengthy wait and we may not even get the Prostatectomy Operation done by the end of September.

But with in a week we had a date, the 16^th August with a telephone pre-op consultation on the 7th, that's worked out extremely well as all my Ballet will have shut down by the end of July and I'm freely available to take him anywhere that's required, in any case I would have cancelled my classes if it had come up before as Adrians health takes priority.

Although my classes are shut down, I must still maintain a certain amount of pointe practice to keep my pointe fitness level up for the next term, but that I can do any time.

 

That news has really perked Adrian up. I'm not sure how quickly he will start to regain his fitness afterwards, but it may be just possible for us to go on holiday during his birthday week, the 18th September, fingers crossed, as I know he would like to go back to Scotland.

 

Another mile-stone passed this Friday, Adrian stops taking drops in his eye after his Proton Beam Therapy Clatterbridge Cancer Centre, that's 25 days, another job I don’t have to do 4 times a day, Whoopee the end to this nightmare is in sight.

Awww I’m so pleased for you guys about getting a date for the op. I hope it goes really well and it’s great news the course of eye drops has finished. As someone who didn’t start ballet until 45 what you have achieved is an inspiration @Michelle_Richer.
 

Apologies this is off topic but may I please ask where you get your pointe shoes from? My first ever pair have died (inconveniently my intermediate foundation exam is in 3 days time) and my usual fitter has no availability until September. Thanks in advance. 

[Michelle_Richer]

Hi Fiz

 

I feel for you, this is always in the back of my mind for Adrian, If his op is postponed I know it will really knock him back, fingers crossed it wont.

 

 

Hi Angela

Currently I get my pointe shoes from “Starlite Direct” which also trades under “Dancing in the Street” at Sleaford, mainly because its on my way home from my classes in Lincoln although they do pointe shoe fitting, my pointe shoes was initially fitted by Sheila of “Just Ballet” when she had a store in Wisbech. As Starlite Direct is very close to me I'm a frequent visitor sometimes popping in for a chat and seeing whats new.

 

Although I have not had any refitting done, my feet have changed considerably, but then again I do have a selection of pointe shoes going back along time.

 

All most just after I first started attending ballet classes I wanted to go on to pointe and was first fitted for pointe shoes at The Dance Box in Lincoln , I think I got a month or two pointe work but it never really got any where as it was a bit of a fill in for the last half hour of our ballet class and of course some of that time was spent getting in and out of pointe shoes as we had to vacate the studio on time. My pointe shoes then were Bloch Serenades, I had a second bash for about the same period of time at a ballet class in Wisbech Cambridgeshire, again it was just a fill in, so that didn’t get any where either.

Most enquiries I made about starting pointe was refused as they only taught teens, including my then one-to-teacher I had been using for several years and my Cecchetti teacher too. However just before COVID my one-to-one teacher decided to give up teaching as she was to loose the studio building due to redevelopment, we were due to start working on new rep and as it didn’t seam worthwhile, I ask her if she would take me through preparation for pointe exercise, bless her she did, although I never actually went up on pointe with her, she didn’t have a problem showing me where to position my ribbons and elastic on the new pointe shoes I took in, there were Freed fitted by Starlite, but with COVID that never got anywhere.

 

While I was with the Alive Ballet company, a pointe work course was to be held, I organised the studio for it at The Royal Ballet in Covent Garden, as I used to organise most of the venues for that company, I remember it it was 2017. I was super keen to start that course and I had already paid for it. Then it happened, I had sustained a serious injury by jumping of a foundation wall what was to become my new studio at home. For several weeks I had to email in with apologies thinking it was going to clear up, but it didn’t, I still tried to go to rehearsals, but eventually I had to stop.

 

I eventually I got a break just under 3 years ago with an on-line beginner pointe class, with Bloch Serenades again, just after that I decided to go and get new pointe shoes fitted with a trusted friend of mine “Just Ballet”, as she had supplied me with many professional tutus in the past.

To be fair we went though lots of pointe shoes in her store and came up with two that fitted nicely, the first was Bloch Hannah’s and the other Russian Rubin Radiance. For the most part I stuck to the Bloch Hannah’s but not all was well, after a while I started having problem with my right foot pinky toe and the only way I could continue with my pointe class was to strap it over the top of the toe next to it. Whilst it allowed me to carry on, I could'nt properly get on the platform for that foot. I went to podiatrist in my local town a couple of times but it didn’t really help.

In the meantime I had started with Kim my a new rep coach in Lincoln, I remember originally saying to her when we first met I would never be asking her to teach me pointe. Time had moved on and we frequently spoke about my progress with my on line pointe class, in the meantime the Ballet school in Scotland that Adrian and I used use for our annual showcase had closed, so with no rep to prepare for raised the question with Kim about coaching me en pointe, I think that was September 2021. At that point I was beginning to think working in the centre was as far off as ever, as my on-line class was all done facing the barre and still is. However after my first session with Kim, she said I was further along than she thought I would be and said she would have me off the barre by Christmas of that year, I smiled and thought “no chance”, but she was right.

In the meantime one of my physios pointed me in the direction of a new Podiatrist, Whoopee she is brilliant well qualified and had actual knowledge of pointe work from her own ballet training when she was younger. She is now a member of my support team with my 3 physio/massage therapists.

July 2022 Adrian and I performed our annual showcase at a new venue, it was in the big performance studio of GoDance in Sleaford, mainly because my one-to-one rep and pointe work takes place in the studios at Godance in Lincoln, and are no where big enough for a performance with a friends and family audience present.

 

As usual I had structured it as an intensive week with the showcase on the last day, and this would be the first time I would be perform a PDD with Adrian with me en pointe. To be fair it was almost a disaster, firstly we had altered the orientation of the studio for the depth of field of the camera, that resulted in an awful lot of re-runs because of orientation and positioning issue of both me and also Adrian. The early runs were never done in costume, when the costume was added around the Wednesday that brought even more problems as part of the costume was a veil which was over my face and wrapped 3 times around my waist. The worst part for me was two separate sets of 3 pose turns and the veil was inclined to slip down, once I had completed the last set of pose turns and Adrian had unfurled and removed the veil while I burred round, the rest seamed much easier.

The overall problem was, I had spent far more time during that week en pointe, far more than my feet could properly cope with. I remember on the last evening before our showcase my teacher saying, there is no shame if you decide to dance it for this years PDD in ballet flats.

On the final morning I decided to go for it and told Adrian, “if either of us makes a mistake we are going to carry on, and not do a re-run”, I knew my feet just couldn’t take it. That was the first piece we performed and we completed it successfully but not the best as what I could have done, but it was so good to get the pointe shoes off, and yes the feet were bleeding. Even so we still managed to dance the rest of our showcase in ballet flats.

 

Now I wear far more toe protection but I have found it does have an impact on size and you may need to go up another half size.

Anther useful tip is to use sued tips on the platform as it more than doubles the life of pointe shoes, as I used to knock a pair of pointe shoes out in a couple of months.

My current pointe shoes are Bloch Hannah strong shanks, I’ve trained in Block Hannah’s as the platform are wider and are probably easier to balance on, than the Russian Rubins, but the Russian Rubins look much slimmer and nicer on the feet.

 

“Starlite Direct” if you have a trade account / teachers account which I have, or “Dancing in the Street” for a normal retail customers

 

Sleaford Enterprise Park

Pride Parkway

Sleaford

Lincolnshire

NG34 8GL

 

Hope that helps

 

[Pixiewoo]

So glad everything is moving on for you Michelle. 

 

I just wanted to second your recommendation for 'dancing in the street'. I only use them as an online store, as they are too far for me to travel to, but they have always been fantastic and so helpful. I've been known to ring and say 'DD wears this flat ballet shoe, but we need an X shoe etc' and they advise and have been known to measure things for me! 

[Fiz]

I still have an industrial sized reel of pink elastic from when both of our daughters used to dance a lot. It came from Dancing in the Street before they moved to Sleaford which is now very close to us. 

[Michelle_Richer]

We though that things had turned out well for the timing for Adrian's Prostrate operation, as I would be on break from my ballet commitments.

Things we going really well, we had a Telephone Pre op consultation on Monday of last week, followed by pre-op tests at Hinchenbrooke hospital on the following Thursday which were fine. We were all good to go for his operation tomorrow (Wednesday the 16).

 

When Monday morning came round he appeared to have a bit of an infection flare up, we manage to get a morning appointment with his GP as we needed to clear it up by Wednesday so it couldn’t compromise his op. While we were with his GP Adrian phone rang, it was Hinchenbrooke Hospital, it was bad news, his operation had been cancelled due to his surgeon being off sick, Adrian had is phone on speaker-phone so I asked when would the operation be reschedule, the lady on the phone didn’t know but she thought is may be within the next two or three weeks.

 

When we had a consultation with the Surgeon a couple of months ago I remember him telling us he would be away on holiday for 3 weeks in August, in which case he could never have covered the 16^th, so I’m very suspicious of the reason given for the cancellation and also the integrity of the original schedule. I did ask if Adrian would have to repeat his pro-op tests, the answer was “no” they remain valid for 3 months.

 

 

My last week of term was particularly memorable for two thing :

 

Firstly I had been nagging my pointe work teacher / rep coach to bring her pointe shoes in, as I know she wears them to demonstrate at a beginner pointe class. The very last week she did and for the most part danced the pointe-work exercises with me, needless to say her technique was much cleaner than mine, however much to my surprise and especially as my right foot little toe had been playing up, my teacher bless her couldn’t keep up with my stamina on certain pieces. Gosh that was an eye opener of just how far I have come with her.

 

For our second session (Rep) we basically looked at extracts I had chosen from La Bayadere to add to what we had already covered for next years showcase, I have found a nice little solo for Adrian, its not very dancy but has a lot of mime which I know he like, Ive already cleared it with him and he is keen to get started when he is back fit again. I have several Nikiya pieces some I would like to cover en-pointe, which will become a significant focus on our pointe exercises. However I have fallen in love with the Pas de Quatre which is quite lively, but I will need to re-choreograph it to a solo by editing the music and shortening the sequence.

 

My second most memorably event was meeting up with “Rejane Linford Garcea” on the Tuesday lunch time in London, Rejane was my Artistic Director and founder of The Alive Ballet Company, she has since emigrated to Australia.

That particular week she was hosting 2 intensives at Danceworks, One for classical ballet, the other for Contemporary with various well known teachers to help cover her classes.

It was really nice to see her again as we go back a very long time to 2013, while I was with her Alive Ballet company I took on several rolls for her as well as one of her dancers, I was also Music Editor, Head of Costume and Production Manager, I was extremely sorry to see her move to Australia, however she has done very well over there in setting up both Ballet and Contemporary Amateur dance companies. Her and a business partner have set up a fledgling professional ballet company “Adelaide City Ballet” , at the time we spoke she had 8 professional dancer and 2 sponsors. It wouldn't surprise me to see her back in London running other intensives in the future, may be next time when Adrian is well I will get to attend it.

[Jan McNulty]

That's sad about Adrian's op Michelle.  I do hope it is scheduled sooner rather than later.

 

Thanks for keeping us updated.

 

Very best wishes to you both.

[Michelle_Richer]

Just a quick update:

 

We got a new date this morning, its the 6^th of September, 3 weeks today, at least that has got the uncertainty out of waiting. The only downside is we only have a week of recovery before we had planned to go away on Adrian's Birthday holiday after the operation, as it is I certainly wont book anything until the day before we are due to go and then only if he is fit enough.

 

In the meantime I'm on break from ballet with just enough maintenance mode practice to maintain my level pre-break.

[Fiz]

I hope Adrian’s operation comes off this time, Michelle. 

[Angela Essex]

How frustrating that the op was cancelled but pleased for you both that you’ve got another date. Fingers crossed for 6th Sept!

 

Thanks heaps for all the pointe info - love hearing the details of your journey. Your dedication and work ethic are  inspiring  Luckily Leanne of Straight to the Pointe can see me on 23rd Aug so I can start the new term in September with new shoes. 
 

I ended up doing my exam in the dead shoes and the pointe section was a struggle, but I think that was just exhaustion by that stage of the exam rather than the shoes as the shanks are still fine it’s just the box being soft. It was literally taking a mammoth effort to hold myself up en pointe which I don’t usually find a big deal.

Yes I put the suede tips on the shoes (grishko stream pointe) as soon as I got them and they’ve lasted well. I got them in Sept 2022 and by November I was sinking as the box had softened. I saw Leanne who gave me a little insole for them and then they were good until Easter 2023 when my big toes started rubbing on the side of the box so I got some gel toe socks then the shoes were ok again until July 2023 just before the exam. So cannot grumble - I got 9 months out of them.
 

Not done pointe or regular class for the last month so think I’ve got a shock coming in September 🤣

Edited August 21, 2023 by Angela Essex

[Michelle_Richer]

The last 3 days have been very traumatic with very little sleep, our first day for Adrian’s Prostatectomy operation, we were up at 4am, as we had to book in at Hinchingbrooke Hospital at 7.45am. After booking in Adrian disappeared to be prepped at around 8.30am when I asked one of the nurses “What time he was likely to be out and where could I wait for him”, I was told just after lunch time and assumed, just after mid day, and I could wait in the Surgical reception area where I was.

 

It wasn't until 3.15pm that he arrived, then he had a knee bag fitted and the contents was a bright rich red indicating a high blood content. He showed me his release note which indicated that blood would appear in the urine for several day before it gradually diminished to nothing.

 

When he got home I noticed he had 2 pieces of gauss knoted around the catheter very close to urethra exit point of the body, I guess to catch the blood that leaks out of the urethra on the external side of the catheter, it really didn’t look very nice as it was absolutely soaked in blood. I ask Adrian how long is he expected to keep it on, he was told until the next morning.

 

As he was back to using a bag again, he decided he would have to sleep downstairs in the easy chair almost sat up as in the past it was the only way he could guarantee the bag would drain properly. I fitted a 3litre night bag as he was constantly drinking to flush his system out.

Adrian ask me to stay down stair with him as he didn’t want to be alone, so I slept on the settee. When we turned in the colour of the fluid in his bag was beginning to lighted towards pink, obviously the water he was drinking was starting to have an effect.

 

Just before 3am Adrian woke me very distressed, he complain he was feeling sick and very unwell, also the blood in the urine had gone back to more richer colour, he complained he should have never been discharged from the hospital and insisted I call an ambulance. I dialled 999 and spoke to the ambulance controller, we ran through a check list and the controller said he would arrange for the duty doctor to contact us but it may take up to 6 hours. It was a lot less and the duty doctor finally suggested it may have been a reaction to the antibiotics Adrian was given and suggested we contact his GP when they opened at 8am.

As neither of us could sleep, around 6am I decided to clean him up and remove the awful soke ridden gauze around his catheter. There was no way I could release it with surgical gloves on, I tried sterilising some scissors but they wouldn't cut it either, in the end I found a new sealed pack of Stanley blades, so I took one out and sterilised it, whoopee it worked, then I could really get him clean, I think that was a boost to him too, we also noted the colour of the liquid was getting lighter too, I ask him about feeling sick, that was subsiding too .

 

8am came and I ask him about contacting his GP, he declined and said he was feeling much better, so I suggested he restart his antibiotics and see what happens, he now takes them with food and the effect is much less.

 

Friday our last day to go to the hospital, here his catheter will be removed and we have to wonder around the hospital for 4 hour before they can scan him for retention of urine, the criteria set by his surgeon was no more than 300ml. The brief from the nurses was he must drink and pee, drink and pee and move around, they started him off with a large jug of water and a glass. We stayed around the Surgical reception area until he had drank the whole consents of the jug and then move on to the restaurant where he continued to drink and pee.

Finally we arrived back at reception at the appointed time and Adrian was take away for his retention scan, when he appeared back he had a big smile on his face and gave me the thumbs up. To be fair from his anxious state of Wednesday, I was expecting the test to have failed, not only did he pass, it was an exceptional pass, he only retained 98ml.

 

His brief now : he can take short walks from 1 week, he can start to cycle from 4 to 6 weeks, no heavy lifting or gardening until after 6 weeks.

 

After week 2 I will commence some light barre work with him, mainly to for general fitness and staminer but more importantly to correct his posture as that has really gone in a very big way.

 

I wont be starting any serious Pass de Deux work with him until the new year, however I'm pencilling in getting back to London to an amateur performing company around next half term (October) would be good. Hopefully we may get a chance to go on holiday to Scotland before then, but sadly we are not likely to make that for his Birthday holiday this month as originally planned.

 

At least this nightmare is over for us both.

[LinMM]

Am so pleased to hear he is now finally catheter free!! I will message you tomorrow X 

[DVDfan]

So pleased things are going well for both of you🙂

[Jan McNulty]

It's been a very worrying time for you both.  I'm so pleased things are going well since Adrian's operation.  

 

Thanks for keeping us updated Michelle.  Best wishes to you both.

[Michelle_Richer]

Just a quick update, Adrian on Saturday was 4 weeks post-op and I'm glad to say is doing very well. At 2 weeks post-op each Sunday morning I started him off with some light Pilates exercises, a little PBT, some resistance band work and some light barre work and of course a little port de bras to finish, he has really enjoyed that. Each week as his strength and fitness has improved, I’ve either added a few more exercises or made the exercise slightly more challenging.

 

I wont start Adrian's PDD training with me until after Christmas when he if fully fit and ready.

 

On Saturday ( his week 4) we took the bikes out in a effort to strengthen his legs, that went like a dream for him, not quite so for me. We were cycling down some leafy lanes with a few miles from home, when a fly went into my eye Grrr. Naturally I stopped and tried to clear it with my finger and my bike toppled over with me underneath, we were resting on the side of this dyke, fortunately I didn’t slide in to it, luckily I didn’t hurt myself, not even a brews. The rest of the journey 5 or 6 miles was uneventful other that lots of flying bugs about and several coliding my face, I guess it was that time of year. It was really nice to be out and about with Adrian again, with a real sense of normality.

 

Two more weeks to go and he can start to pick up some of the heavier work in the garden as there is plenty that needs doing and take the pressure off me a bit.

 

On the downside Adrian still has a lot of follow-up hospital appointment coming up covering both his Prostatectomy and his eye cancer, so its unlikely I will be joining a Ballet performing group after half term. That's going to have to wait until after the Christmas break, I'm also hoping the rail travel dispute has been settled by then too.

 

I have had one of my Friday classes close which has released some time for me, plus a few weeks ago I see a thread on this forum on Cecchetti, in that was a clip from the Cecchetti Diploma on pointe work, that gave me an injection of enthusiasm to pick up my Cecchetti Advanced 2 studies which now are extremely rusty. Certainly a least half a day of Fridays will be spent on my Cecchetti Advanced 2 syllabus, but at the same time where the differences aren't too great would like to incorporate the Cecchetti Diploma exercises too.

[Jan McNulty]

Thanks for the update Michelle.

 

It sounds as though, with your encouragement, Adrian is doing really well.

 

Very best wishes to you both.  Jxx

[Fiz]

I’m very glad that Adrian is doing better and life is getting back to normal slowly, Michelle. My husband broke his wrist at the end of July and progress has been slow and painful for him. We’ll get there but it probably won’t be for a few more months. 

[Angela Essex]

Glad to hear you’re both doing well. What amateur company do you dance with in London? 

[Michelle_Richer]

17 hours ago, Angela Essex said:

Glad to hear you’re both doing well. What amateur company do you dance with in London? 

Hi Angela

I'm not with a performing company right now, although Adrian and I do work on our own annual showcase each year with my one-to-one coach at Lincoln.

 

I had a mail drop recruiting adult amateur dancers from the London Performance Company in Holloway road. LPC is run by Lisa Probert, she has been one of my teachers at London Amateur Ballet and also at ENB. When London Amateur Ballet closed, Lisa formed LPC from several of the Ex LAB dancers, I didn’t go there as I was already a dancer with The Alive Ballet Company and at one stage I did try dancing in two different ballets with both companies on the same day, even for me that was pushing things a bit too far.

 

Initially I replied to Lisa to join the company for the Autumn term, then Adrian's operation was postponed for three week, and I said I would try and join at half term. However I didn’t anticipate the amount of hospital follow-up appointments Adrian would have covering both his issues, also I had expected the rail dispute to be over by now. So starting at half term is a non starter and I will review things for the new year.

 

Slightly off topic, does anyone know where I can buy draw string for ballet slippers from, as Adrian lost the draw string from one of his black ballet slipper, fortunately we recovered one from an old slipper, but only after I had bought him a knew pair of ballet slippers.

[Angela Essex]

@Michelle_Richer maybe try just ballet or hobbycraft for the drawstring x

[Michelle_Richer]

Last week Adrian and I snatched almost a weeks holiday in Scotland, as the days were getting shorter and of course the summer temperatures were due to fall. We were also conscious of the serious flooding that had taken place the previous weekend and various road closures due to land slides and bridges washed away or damaged, but never the less we decided to go.

 

We travelled up to just north of Glasgow on our first day to Dumbarton, needless to say it was dark when we arrived although we know the area well. We had pre booked an evening meal at a very pretty spot on the banks of Loch Lomond called Duck Bay, this was our first encounter of flooding. Although the Duck Bay Hotel and Restaurant is situated right next to Loch Lomond, the other side of the road has a large park of several tens of acres, all we could see in the headlights was water as if it was a huge lake. The overspill car park was also situated on the same side as our lake but fortunately only partially flooded, at least after we parked we didn’t get our feet wet getting to the restaurant.

We called there the following morning for breakfast and could see the full extent of the remaining flood water.

During the week we see lots of road / bridge repairs down to a single lane with traffic lights and also some major rock rebuilding out from the side of the road. I guess what was most memorable for me was the state of the stream and river beds that flowed under the roads, they were shiny grey, almost mirror like as if they had been highly polished with water and debris flowing down them.

 

No trip to Scotland would be complete without Adrian and I visiting Gillian our Ballet Coach of many years and it was really nice to see her again.

 

I did take my pointe shoes and resistance band up to Scotland with me, but our hotel room didn’t have anything high enough to utilise as a barre.

 

While we were there we kept an eye on the weather, particularly the tracking of Storm Babet , not only for Scotland but for home too as we live next to a river. Although we had really beautiful weather from the weekend up to and including the Wednesday, it was clear the storm was going to hit where we was Thursday and Friday, so Adrian and I decided to travel home on Thursday morning. The night before we had seen amber warnings displayed on the road side. When we got up at the hotel it was clear the wind and rain had arrived, my worry was crossing the Clyde on the Erskine bridge, Adrian checked the predicted wind-speed on his phone and it predicted a fall around mid day. It was right , as we left the Oban area we had high winds, by the time we reached the backs of Loch Lomond they we considerably less.

 

As we approached the bridge, there were sighs to say it was closed to high sided vehicles, but there were several cars crossing it which made us feel happier about crossing it, as we crossed over I noticed the trees on the south side, they were barely swaying. We continued to have fairly heavy rain until we reach the English / Scottish border junction M74/M6.

Once we arrived home everything was bone dry, the storm had not arrived yet.

First thing Friday morning it was still fine, there was just enough time to secure our two landing platform on our river, as they tend to float up on high flood water, at least if they are well secured to the bank they cant float way and simply settle down again once the water lowers. Similarly we had to make sure our boats are properly secured against fast flowing flood water too.

 

Friday the storm hit, however the water authority had lowered the river level in anticipation, so far up to Sunday evening there is about a 3 foot rise and fall and a very fast flow, but no flooding as yet. However it takes about three days for the catchment area of our rive (River Glen) to flow thorough.

 

After our short holiday , its back to Hospital follow-up appointments for Adrian, we have two this week, the first is on Monday at Addenbrooke's for an MRI scan, as something was detected in either an Ultrasound Scan or PET CT Scan both of which was done on separate days the week before our holiday. Unfortunately we have to be there by 7.40am Monday morning, which means getting up at 4am Grrrr.

Our second follow-up this week is on Thursday at Moorfields Eye Hospital in London, Thursday is usually my busiest ballet day of 4 classes, needless to say I have had to re-arrange my 2 one-to-one classes to Tuesday, however I have very little prep time this week for them, but that's life.

 

On the good side Adrian continues to make progress but I think that is going to be longer than we both first thought, especially while we were on holiday he does tire easily on long walk, but he is getting there bless him.

 

[DVDfan]

So glad to hear that things are going well for you and Adrian, albeit slowly. Wishing you all the best for the coming week.

[meadowblythe]

Hi Michelle

 

Suddenly realised how long it was since this thread was updated.

 

I hope life is peaceful for you 

[Michelle_Richer]

Will post an update on Sunday xx

[Michelle_Richer]

As it been quite a while since I last posted, this is a bit of an update and so so sorry for its length.

 

Firstly Adrian my partner had his second follow-up appointment at Moorfields eye Hospital just over a week ago, this was quite a worry for us, as the cancerous growth in his eye at the first follow-up had actually increased in size and the specialist weren't sure if the Proton beam therapy had been effective. The natural progression if the cancer continued to grow was removal of the eye, which would have been very traumatic for Adrian.

Adrian and I had spoken about this before hand, and we agreed if the wort came to the worst we would push for a second session of proton beam therapy if it were humanly possible.

 

On the day we had a phone call from Moorfields asking if we could come an half an hour earlier for our appointment, and of course we said yes. We arrived in time to grab a something to eat at the Hospital cafe and checked for the appointment about 15mins earlier than our new time. We even got to see our first clinician ahead of time, our second shortly after, the second did a scan so I was keen to ask him how it compared to his first follow-up, but he declined to answer and said we would have to wait and see the doctor. You can imagine what we thought, he also told us with an apology that there would be a 30minute wait before we would see the doctor. That 30 minutes turned out to be two and a half hours. Finally we see the doctor a very switch on young lady, first she carried out quite a detailed scan which clearly displayed the growth in green, the measurement thankfully showed shrinkage had finally started, she also followed it up with an ultra-scan which checks the depth of the grown. She was very happy with the progress so no more therapy, but the growth will be continued to be monitored at Moorfields every 4 months, with cancer guard monitoring of liver and kidneys at Addenbrooke's every six month as a precaution. Although we had to wait two and a half hours to see the doctor, for that news, it was worth it and my eyes couldn’t help but well up when the doctor gave us that news.

 

Now Adrian truly is on his way to full recovery, its his turn to look after me.

About 3 months ago I was in Hospital after a heart attack, if someone had said, when did you have a heart attach and what was it like, I really couldn’t answer that question.

I guess to a large extend its probably been the way I have been living as if I’m indestructible. Thinks of note was during the summer we needed to replace our oil tank for our central heating system, I had arranged for 4 of us to do it as it weighed 136Kg. Various things happed where Adrian's prostrate op had been moved and he wouldn't be available, similar where my brother was no longer available. As this tank was sat on our drive strapped to a pallet, the thought crossed my mind “I wonder if I could move it”, you guess the rest, with scaffold boards across the lawn I could push it, scaffolding and pulley's I could lift it, with pipes underneath it as rollers, I could position it on its platform. Hey presto this ballerina did it all by her self, but I guess it did take its toll.

 

Something probably more relevant was pruning our laurel hedge, as it had got well and truly out of hand as Adrian wasn't able. Most of it was no problem but the top was quite wide and difficult to get at, also it needed 4 to 5 feet removing from it. That took me the best part of 2 weeks during the summer break, perched on the top of a 12 foot set of steps with a long reach set set of pruners. I noticed I started to get a pain in my left arm, the arm that was extended and doing all the work with the pruners, it even still ached in bed at night. At first I thought is was a pulled or overused muscle, but it didn’t really go away. In the back of my mind I remember one of my brothers having a pain in his arm which turned out to be a heart problem which was many years ago but it wasn't at the forefront of my thought.

Finally Adrian and I took a late holiday to Scotland in September as Adrian was about 5 weeks post of from his prostrate operation. One of the days we decided to do the rail journey from Oban to Glasgow, as I had never really explored the city before. As Adrian was still recovering and couldn’t walk very far, I found him a nice seat outside a cafe in one of the shopping centres and left him there while I did a quick rekkie round the City centre for future reference. As usual I was power walking very quickly to cover as much of the city centre as I could in 15 to 20min, then I started to get chest pains that I had never had before, it really worried me as I wasn't even sure I could get back to Adrian. I remember priming my phone with Adrian's number in case I needed to call him quickly and noting the street names as I went by them to return to him. Eventually I got back to him, then we returned back to the station very slowly with several stops on the way for me to get my breath. If I had a heart attach, I think that must have been where it was.

 

Once home that incident seamed to be a bit of a blip, however I did phone my brother Pete and his advice was to go to see A and E right away, I declined and said I would see my GP instead. I remember it was a Friday and I contacted the GP’s surgery and ask if I could book an appointment to see my GP Monday morning, it was declined, they don't do it that way any more, I would have to phone my GP to book a call with him, he would phone back later and if he thought it necessary, invite me in for a consultation. Monday morning, it was barely after 8AM, I was 20^th in the que, 45minutes later I managed to book the call. When I finally spoke to the GP he said he would put a blood test form out for me but couldn’t see me until the following Thursday, I told him to forget it and I would go to A and E.

 

Adrian and I went to A and E in Boston, as it was possible heart problems we were placed fairly high on the priority list and went through triage quite quickly, eventually one of the nurses came back to us and said “we are going to have to admit you as there is an antigen in your blood test has revealed you have had a heart attach”

From Boston I was transferred to the Cardiac at Lincoln and underwent an Angiogram, normal they would fits stents as part of that procedure, but not in my case. I was told I had multiple blockages and it would have to go before the Multi-discipline team to decide the way forward next Tuesday. In the meantime I was assigned a nurse as my representative on that team. Much of my discussion with her was about the options especially coronary artery bypass graft CABG surgery, unfortunately they didn’t do that at Lincoln and I would have to be moved to Nottingham where there was a 2 week wait for beds and a further week for the operation, also the recovery period was much longer. All I could see was, it would end my ballet forever, as the only milestone I had was Christmas 2022 when I had a problem with one of my toes and took a 3 week break from pointe work, which took me 5 weeks to catch up again. CABG surgery from what my nurse said looked realistically like a 6month break from ballet with pointe work.

Tuesday came and Adrian was visiting me, the nurse came in and brought a doctor who too was a member of that team and needless to say I thought the worst. However they had decided to treat the two worst blockages with stents and the rest with drugs and blood thinners (Aspirin), the doctor said are you ok to have the procedure this afternoon, of course I said yes.

That procedure was out of this world for me, as I arrived at the cath-lab everyone knew my name and were extremely nice, I had a really interesting chat with the professor in overall charge. The guy doing the actual procedure through a catheter up my right arm was asked to give me a commentary, which he did. A cannula was inserted in the left with a drip to protect my kidneys as this was my second Angiogram/ angioplasty. They discharged me the following day.

The beginning of the second week back home I was back up on my pointe shoes, the second week back I was back at my pointe class, a week later I had intended to rejoin my regular ballet class at Stamford, but we didn’t make the minimum number of dancer (5) so it didn’t go ahead, since then to some extent my own condition had declined.

 

At the moment I'm still doing one-to-one pointe work at Lincoln and Pilates a couple of times a week. Although I had intended to rejoin my on-line pointe class last December, our BT lines had accidentally been disconnected by the Outreach maintenance engineers from the 4^th December until the 11^th Jan, im in dispute with them at the mo on compensation, so I never managed to rejoin my online class.

 

At the moment as pointework was a very hard hill to climb, there is no way I want to loose that and start again as I know I would never make it.

As for normal ballet class, I very much dought I could handle even a beginners and grand allegro would really floor me. Two weeks ago Kim my Lincoln teacher and I decided to try and run through one of our Shades solos that we originally planned for this years showcase. As its some time since we last danced it, we decided to walk through the first shades solo from La Bayadere at 70% of its normal speed, when we got to the end diagonal, which is a sort of hopping arabesque alternating between flat foot and demi-pointe over something like 26hopps. Once I heard that music I had to give it a try, I must have missed the first 6 or so hops before I decided to go and managed to get through it. I remember before COVID dancing this pieces as part of the BBT performing group, several of our dancers complaining how difficult this was, although in those days I could dance through that section twice and think nothing of it.

As Kim and I had this music on a loop, when the track restarted I tried to dance through it, I managed to get to where there is a little combination that has a grand jete, attitude turn, pas de buree and pirouette repeated 3 time, I managed twice and was totally breathless laid flat out on the floor.

 

At the moment I almost having to treat my medical own condition as a scientific study, Although I have a rehab nurse allocated to me she contributes nothing other than politically correct statements that are more appropriate to an infirm geriatric old lady.

 

Firstly there are some strange conflicting observations, If I go upstares to make our bed I get a really nastie ache in my left arm, at worst it extends to my thumb where I can feel the pulse in it.

I have a bluetooth pulse rate detector which should be strapped around my abdoman just below my breasts and the results read of a smart phone, as the results were not as reliable as they might be , the strap was moved to above the bust which works well.

I set a start point from being fully relaxed lain on a settee which give a pulse rate of 60bpm, walking up the stairs pulse rate rises to 80bpm and breathing rate increases too, by the time I get into the bedroom and start making the bed the pulse rate reaches around 95bpm, at that pointe the arm ache comes on, it remains on until the pulse rate drops too below 65bpm.

 

Now the conflicts: I can go outside in the garden and start work, I feel really tired and short of breath to start with including the arm ache, after a while (about half an hour) those symptoms go away and breathing becomes more normal. I have had several instances of this, its quite repeatable.

 

Kim and I have measured heart rate against various pointe work exercises and have set a heart rate of 80bpm to represent a resting warm-up rate for measurement between exercises. According to my rehab nurse I should be working toward and not exceed 107bpm, all but one exercise we well exceed it.

 

The model I’m using to predict my heart rate is Fox and Brawner, specific for Coronery Artery Disease with Beta Blockers which I am now on. I'm also applying endurance banding according to the Karvonen method which this estimates ideal target heart rate in 10% intervals through range 50% to 100% maximum predicted heart rate for ones age. That fits in well with what we have measure.

 

My theory of the left arm pain is in fact Angina with referred pain into the left arm from the left side of the heart due to the confusion at the nerve bundle where they both converge. A more common occurrence is left arm pain with chest pain from the heart in heart failure or Angina which I do not have. This is also accompanied with shortness of breath which is also consistent with Angina.

 

One of the medication for treating Angina is GTN Spray, which is supplied to me on prescription, at first I didn’t take it as I had no chest pains. As the instruction provided with are inadequate for me I'm having to test it to find out the full dynamics behind it.

First test: As there was a lot of walking involve travelling via underground from Kings Cross to Moorfield hospital I knew my arm would be aching and I would be short of breath by the time I got to Moorfields hospital and noted the following GTN spray instruction before an event : “To prevent an angina attack the usual dose is one or two sprays under the tongue immediately before you do the activity that is likely to bring on an angina attack, for example before doing exercise or going out in the cold.”

It worked, however I noted an unpleasant event when I took it. I was on the train just past Stevenage and I took 2 puffs of the spray and it was a bright sun shiny day, I started to feel nauseous and the brightness started to close in, I thought I was going to faint, slowly it pass off by the time we got to Kings Cross. My thoughts behind that was, I really shouldn’t take that if im going to drive.

Second test: I wanted to see if any of the desirable effects of the GTN spray remained when we left Moorfields, there wasn't, it had gone out of my system. Just before I got to the Oldstreet underground entrance my arm was hurting like hell and I was extremely short of breath and I really hadn't travelled very far. This time I took a single puff of spray and waiting at least 3 minutes for it to take effect, it should have been 5, by this time I had recovered, I had even got a spring in my step as I went into the underground. By the time I had got to Kings Cross I was well ahead of Adrian, and Adrian said “I thought you were going to take it easy”, we looked at the time, we only had 12minutes to catch our train and still quite a way to walk, so neither of us lost any time. By the time I sat down in the train I could just feel the presents of the arm ache starting, but it didn’t really develop.

 

I liked the idea of the GTN spray as a precursor to exercise and decided to use it ahead of pointe practice in my own studio. As I wasn't driving I though I would go with 2 puffs so I could check its endurance. Firstly I felt the same effect that I had on the train which worried me, I know it supposed to expand the blood vessels and drop the blood pressure to a degree, so I measured it. The diastolic reading which normally sits around 80, for me about 75 because of the medication I'm on, was reading around 45, I took a second reading and it was 51, they are both extremely low and would explain the feeling of going to faint. As the effect wore off I tried some pointe work at the barre, my balance was rubbish it had never been that bad ever, it just wasn't normal for me. There is no way I will use GTN if I’m going to do pointe work.

 

Almost every activity I do I scrutinise medically to try and understand my new body dynamics as they are so very different. The stamina I once had has completely gone and I cant walk very far without getting breathless. I had an extreme test of that this weekend as Adrian and I went to see Come Dancing on tour at the 02, the long walk and stairs at London bridge underground station was quite crippling, I had to stop many times to get my breath. When we got to the 02, the walk from the entrance to the H entrance was extremely long, but not only that, the seat Adrian had book was only one row from the very top, in this instance GTN spray didn’t help with the fatigue. Saturday was really challenging and said to me, it will be a really long time before I'm back performing on stage in London if ever.

 

It really does feel like a completely new chapter of my life that I don’t know how to write it with ballet as its central core.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 11 by Michelle_Richer

[Sim]

Hi Michelle, and thanks for that update.  I wish you and Adrian well and hope that you can both move forward as best as possible, with positivity about the good things in your lives even though things will change.  Keep taking the best care of yourselves.  xx

[TYR]

I am so sorry.

[Fiz]

I’m so sorry, Michelle. 

[Jan McNulty]

Oh Michelle, I’m so sorry and I hope your health starts to improve with the medication.

 

I do hope, if you feel you can, that you keep us updated.

[DVDfan]

I'm sorry to hear that you may be facing a change in your life brought on by  another health crisis. I know what it is to loose the centre of your life (in my case an academic discipline - no work available) and it is not an easy ride. 

However you have resources (far more than I had at that time in my life): you have Adrian, you have your garden and I get the impression that money is not a problem. Build on the positives and the things you can do - but first you may have to grieve. 

It's not easy, it's not something you would wish on  anyone, but it's also not the end of your journey through life. With the drive and determination which you clearly possess in spades, you'll get through it. The French have a lovely phrase for this sort of thing - "Bon courage". 

Bon courage, Michelle!

[meadowblythe]

Any new chapter is an opportunity ,, literally a blank page.

 

Ballet will still be the centre of your life, just using the skills in a different way.  Reading your description of the surgeon having to describe what he is doing at every stage read like a description of one of your ballet classes!

 

The discipline, the courage to face new challenges, the ability to emote - these will see you, and Adrian, through the next stage.  

 

As @DVDfan  so beautifully put it - Bon courage Michelle

[Pixiewoo]

Thinking of you Michelle,  and Adrian, and wishing you all the best. 

Your immense determination to achieve always impresses me. XXX