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I'm probabaly going to be struck off the forum so saying this, but I'm in two minds as to whether I actually want my DD to get a yes letter. I'm not ready to lose my little girl to boarding school :(

I also worry that it will change her personality and she won't be my funny, spirited, hyper-active, lovely little nut case she is now. :wacko:

 

If your DD was successful (fingers crossed) its still your decision to make about actually going - nothing is cast in stone - dont panic!

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You definitely aren't saying anything that most of us haven't felt at this stage in the process Fusster. I think there are a lot of children at vocational schools whose parents would never have considered boarding school were it not for the dancing/ MT element. I know I wouldn't ! It is a very emotional time and it is right to think through whether it is a path that's right for you and your child. I have to say, I agree with the above post about personalities too. They find themselves with like minded children who have similar interests and understand them so they feel comfortable and are able to be themselves ( I M O for what it's worth)

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I'm probabaly going to be struck off the forum so saying this, but I'm in two minds as to whether I actually want my DD to get a yes letter. I'm not ready to lose my little girl to boarding school :(

I also worry that it will change her personality and she won't be my funny, spirited, hyper-active, lovely little nut case she is now. :wacko:

For me that has been the hardest thing - letting him go ! I just had to say to myself that if he got a yes , it was meant to be ????

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I also worry that it will change her personality and she won't be my funny, spirited, hyper-active, lovely little nut case she is now. :wacko:

 

It hasn't changed mine! To be honest, the school she was at previously (primary school) was far more eager to squash her and make her squareness fit their round hole.

 

We were just laughing the other day with her about how her year at school seem to have no need to be 'cool' (unlike her brother's non-voc school). She and her friends (boys and girls) have no worries about how they appear to others and all seem to be fun-loving, happy kids!

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Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It's good to hear your experiences, it gives me plenty food for thought.

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Fusster it was the best and worst day when my ds got his WL place. I was dead set against it.

 

You are only expressing what many of us have also felt!

 

In the end ds had to go as he wasnt allocated any other secondary school! So fate definately intervened.

 

Best thing that could have happened as it turned out and he is now dancing professionally.

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If I had my time again and with the knowledge I have now, I definitely would not have let my daughter go away. Family in my oppinion is so important, there is no rush to go away, it is a personal choice.

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First ever post for me today. I've gained so much valuable information from this site so thank you. I also have a square peg DD who is waiting (without expectation) hear from WL audition. Exciting times all round.

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Hfbrew yes your son is a lovely dancer.....saw him in Brighton a few weeks back Ive been meaning to PM you so will do today!

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First ever post for me today. I've gained so much valuable information from this site so thank you. I also have a square peg DD who is waiting (without expectation) hear from WL audition. Exciting times all round.

 

Welcome to the Forum, Little Nutcracker.  I do hope you will share your DD's dance journey with us.

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Welcome from me too.

 

Try not to think too hard about it now - you may or may not have to make a decision and you just do what you think is best if you do! I hated my son being away but he's done so well and had some amazing experiences.

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If I had my time again and with the knowledge I have now, I definitely would not have let my daughter go away. Family in my oppinion is so important, there is no rush to go away, it is a personal choice.

Hi Tulip, can I ask why you feel like this?

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Hi fussier, simply because she missed us so much and we missed her. The knowledge I have now is, if the dance school is good and your child is part of an associat scheme, then I believe that kind of training is good enough to get them into a good upper ballet school. I am only talking about my experience, everyone is different. In addition to what I have said, a majority of dancers in my daughter year at Central did not go to vocational school. Having said that a majority of them were senior associates with ThebRoyal Ballet. I feel ALS o that my daughter missed out on things that happened in her own home/town etc. when she comes home she doesn't know many people and had left her old friends behind at primary school. At the beginning of our journey my daughter really wanted to go to a vocational school and we supported her in this choice. No one told us how painful it would be though. Vocational school does give your child lots of positive experiences though, and some children are more than happy to be at these schools doing what they love to do, I just feel that I missed out.

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I think this would be my preferred option too Tulip if I had a DD/DS in a perfect world that is!!

So if can find an excellent local dance school and can attend associate classes(if selected of course) and summer schools then waiting till 16 before attending vocational level schools would be the ideal!!

 

But of course not everyone does have an excellent school that can carry some childrens progress at the appropriate rate for their talent so then going off earlier to vocational school may have tobe the option chosen to give more potential of success.

 

I don't suppose many of us would turn down a scholarship place at the RBS if offered to DC's at any age!! Provided they wanted to go of course!!

But it is lovely having children at home.....even if one starts to see less and less of them as they get to the teenage yrs!

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It is indeed a double edged sword! I cannot imagine life without my ds at home and being honest a yes would devastate me and my dh. My ds and his sister, aged 8, are extremely close (Ivf embryo twins born 2.5 years apart) and they have already expressed how much they will each miss the other if it's an eventual yes. To be honest we were incredibly shocked when ds told us of his wishes. He is shy, quiet and not the confident sort, the last child you would imagine going off to boarding school. However, I think, like others have said, that he just wants to be with like minded boys. He is not into football/rugby as all his friends are and at his primary school ballet is not really on the radar. Not one of his teachers or indeed the head have wished him luck or even enquired how his audition went. They didn't even realise he was a JA with RBS until recently. Basically if you're sporty you're of interest and if you're not, like my ds then you will not be noticed. I just want him to feel that he fits in and if this is his chosen path then we have to trust him and allow him the chance. After waiting nine years for his arrival it would break my heart to wave goodbye aged 11 but I feel safe in the knowledge that if he were lucky enough to win a place and then hated it he can come home, no questions asked.

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Even now I still say to my daughter if she ever wanted to change her career choice, that would always be fine with us. She is 17 now and is still driven by her ballet. She has always known she could come home, but she believed at the time vocational school was the right way to go.

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I was very touched by your post Mvobe and of course vocational school is only workable if they are happy there!!

 

Some close friends of mine waited 10 yrs before their first child (with a little help from fertility drugs) was born. when she was born at the Rosie in Cambridge I drove there as quickly as I could from London at the time and saw her when she was less than a day old!! Very exciting it was too!!

 

I'm always dismayed when I hear that teachers at local schools don't show any interest because its not " a sporty achievement"

 

I always seem to have been lucky then to work in schools where all achievements.......especially if out of the ordinary....were very much celebrated. As a class teacher I would have probably been too much the other way and asking whether he could show/teach us his audition piece!!!

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This has rather touched a nerve with me LinMM.

My dd's primary school never acknowledged her achievements of a ballet nature . My dd and I are fairly private people and don't seek publicity/ approval but it might have been nice to get a mention, maybe in the celebration assembly held each fFriday or in the newsletter. Oh well....

 

Edited due to rambling off topic

Edited by along for the ride mum
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Mvobe , my DS started at WL in September in yr7. Every time I drop him off it seems so wrong driving away and leaving him behind. However this is his dream and as a Mum I have to do every thing I can to support him. He is happy and the mad videos and photos are proof, that hard as it is he is in the very best place for him.

WL boys also play football and its lovely too see boys of all different ages playing together. It is however the only match ive seen where the boy in goal was piroetting. Try and relax if its ment to be it will.

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I know exactly how you feel along for the ride mum.

I have been quite hurt for my ds that school have been so disinterested in his ballet. They knew he was going for JA auditions in 2012 but never bothered to ask if he'd been successful, which he had. We didn't even bother to tell them as it was clearly not that interesting. It would have been nice to mention him in weekly assembly. I think they actually find it embarrassing because he's a boy doing ballet. However, as my ds is very shy and not the showy type I think he was probably glad in a way.

 

I agree that if it's meant to happen it will. Whatever the White Lodge letter says I will still feel guilty. If it's a no I will feel guilty for secretly being relieved as I know it's his big dream. If it's yes I will feel guilty for even considering allowing him to go away. So damned either way!

 

Anyway there is no time to dwell as we have Elmhurst tomorrow!

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I don't want to offend anyone, but if schools aren't interested in ballet achievements, perhaps it is simply through ignorance. Being selected for an Associate scheme is a real honour, being offered a place at Vocational school even more so.  Maybe the school didn't ask the results of the audition because they assumed you would tell them if it was good news, and thus thought it was a "no" and didn't want to risk upsetting you.

 

Can I suggest that parents and teachers should try to educate their local schools.  Don't hide your light under a bushel, make them understand how important it is.  Or you could try the local newspaper, they will often run a human interest story, and the schools may then take more notice.

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If I had my time again and with the knowledge I have now, I definitely would not have let my daughter go away. Family in my oppinion is so important, there is no rush to go away, it is a personal choice.

 

Me neither Tulip - but I guess you have to experience that the grass isnt always greener to have confidence you are doing the right thing.  There are huge benefits but I'm not sure the environment or sacrifices are always worth it. 

Edited by BankruptMum
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Mvobe , my DS started at WL in September in yr7. Every time I drop him off it seems so wrong driving away and leaving him behind. However this is his dream and as a Mum I have to do every thing I can to support him. He is happy and the mad videos and photos are proof, that hard as it is he is in the very best place for him.

WL boys also play football and its lovely too see boys of all different ages playing together. It is however the only match ive seen where the boy in goal was piroetting. Try and relax if its ment to be it will.

I remember mad videos! Joyous moments of boys jumping over ditches, climbing trees, water fights...I honestly believe my ds had a better quality of life than if he stayed at home an only child who didnt fit in with local football mad kids.

Of course it wasnt easy and we missed him terribly but couldnt help but be happy for him at the same time.

And even though he is a grown man I still miss him and I havent had to see him leave the country to follow his dreams!

Being a parent is for life and all we can do is provide the best opportunities we can in whatever circumstances we find ourselves to ensure our children thrive and become decent, contented and independant human beings.

 

Good luck to all auditioning, try to live and enjoy the moment. You have ballet.co for support whereas when ds was auditioning there wasnt quite the wealth of stories from experienced suffering parents to learn from!

 

Mind you had there been I might have got my way, not let ds go and possibly condemned him to a lifetime of regret that I see too often in adults...

Edited by hfbrew
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Hi fussier, simply because she missed us so much and we missed her. The knowledge I have now is, if the dance school is good and your child is part of an associat scheme, then I believe that kind of training is good enough to get them into a good upper ballet school. I am only talking about my experience, everyone is different. In addition to what I have said, a majority of dancers in my daughter year at Central did not go to vocational school. Having said that a majority of them were senior associates with ThebRoyal Ballet. I feel ALS o that my daughter missed out on things that happened in her own home/town etc. when she comes home she doesn't know many people and had left her old friends behind at primary school. At the beginning of our journey my daughter really wanted to go to a vocational school and we supported her in this choice. No one told us how painful it would be though. Vocational school does give your child lots of positive experiences though, and some children are more than happy to be at these schools doing what they love to do, I just feel that I missed out.

 

Oh gosh. Now I feel slightly sick :unsure: . My DD has 2 brilliant teachers, who are very keen to help her progress through ballet. We are just about to embark on Inter foundation training (think I've got that right!). She is encouraged to attend festivals, they offer private tuition on technique as and when we ask for it and she attends year 6 JAs. Now I feel like she really dosen't need to go off anywhere.

Note to self 'calm down, you haven't even had a letter yet. Slaps myself across the face'.

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Not offended Pas de Quatre! I agree that schools should take more notice and I have tried. I asked the head for time off for WL audition so I hoped that either she or teachers would remember and say "good luck". I actually went to see head the day before with ds to remind her he would not be in school but she just said " ok, can you put it in writing please". Quite sad for it's an excellent school with great results of sats etc but it seems not all achievements are to be celebrated.

 

Just to say also good luck for everyone waiting for letters!

 

Also - is anyone doing Elmhurst tomorrow?

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Oh gosh. Now I feel slightly sick :unsure: . My DD has 2 brilliant teachers, who are very keen to help her progress through ballet. We are just about to embark on Inter foundation training (think I've got that right!). She is encouraged to attend festivals, they offer private tuition on technique as and when we ask for it and she attends year 6 JAs. Now I feel like she really dosen't need to go off anywhere.

Note to self 'calm down, you haven't even had a letter yet. Slaps myself across the face'.

 

To be honest if she is already doing well and her teachers are supportive of you both then that's a step ahead of a lot of youngsters and maybe she will be better off at home, and applying later.  There are lots of competitions, festivals, workshops, associates, EYB, to keep her doing 'extras' - there are a couple of dance schols I am aware of which wont let their students apply for Associate schemes as they know they offer 'as good as' training.  They aren't being boastful, or restricting - its a fact, you only have to go to certain festivals and see their techniques. 

 

People are always keen (and rightly so, its a great achievement) to sing the praises of vocational schools but few will be open about the niggles which are part and parcel of the experience - just remember they are no different than regular secondary school and you are the customer.  Children will also be children, being given the priviledged environment they are in I thought they would be respectful of others talents, and dedicated in approach - was very surprised to find this wasnt the case.  Its a difficult one but dont stress too much until you have decisions to make.  Best of luck, just keep in mind when taking advise that everyone's opinion is very personal to their situation and goals, plus their expectations may be different - mine were clearly set far too high! :)

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Without wanting to spark controversy, as I'm aware that this is a ballet forum, surely it is a decision based on more than purely ballet? It will also depend on the quality of academic schools available locally as well as a myriad of variables around financial implications and travelling distances to schools, ballet schools, associate schemes etc as well as the impact on parents who act as dancers taxi! The truth is this will all be very different for each family and there's no one perfect solution! I just wish everyone peace of mind in finding their own 'best fit' solution x

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