News of non-dancing children.....

[Lisa O`Brien]

Ha ha. The things we do for our kids,eh? Glad he enjoyed himself though.

[JulieW]

So glad he enjoyed it Pupsmum!

[Huddsballetmum]

So proud of my DD who has aced her 11 GCSE's with all A*, A's and B's whilst continuing to dance 20 hours per week.  Hope everyone else who took GCSE's did well!  

[Jan McNulty]

Fantastic achievement for your DD Hudds.

[Lisa O`Brien]

How absolutely wonderful, Hudds. Congratulations to your DD. x

[meadowblythe]

Relieved that musical DD has a fine set of  GCSE results.  Even more proud of her brother's comments recognising that she managed to keep her academic studies and huge musical commitments going throughout (followed up her GCSEs with a double bass exam the next day where she got a distinction!) and his generosity towards her.

 

Celebrated by going for tea at the Rooftop Restaurant in Stratford Upon Avon.  Bad news: fire alarm half way through.  Good news: generous reduction in the bill and got to stand next to the gorgeous actor playing Hamlet as we waited outside! 

 

So I now have my  first child ever going into sixth form, even though she is the baby of the pack ...

[Jan McNulty]

Congratulations to your daughter MB!

[meadowblythe]

Thank you - I have also bought her a suitcase of her own to celebrate another two years of travelling home Oop North from Somerset, and hopefully for orchestra courses and other lovely things. 

[Hull]

I have spent today listening to our DD describing the presents bought for her friends by their parents as a reward for their GCSE results: concert tickets, holidays, laptops, shopping trips, etc etc etc.

 

So to celebrate our DD's excellent results, today we went shopping …..

 

She is now the (proud?!) owner of a pair of green wellington boots all ready for a long, wet winter in Scotland!

[JulieW]

Hull - that made me smile as my (now) vet student daughter had 2 pet rats as a present after her GCSE results, and Hunter wellies after her A levels :-D

[meadowblythe]

Biggest smile on my face is that DD is the first of the three to have turned in a creditable enough set of GCSE results to have deserved any kind of reward!  And, for Archers fans, she got it for getting better results than Lilly Pargetter.  My boys were more on a par with Freddie ...

[Pups_mum]

A good week for both my boys. The elder one has just been informed that he has won his form prize for last year so we have to go to speech day next week to pick that up. He is incredibly shy and quiet so the actual event may be a bit stressful but I am thrilled that his hard work has been recognised.

And the youngest tried out for the under 13 county hockey squad at the weekend, more for the experience than with any real expectations, but we got an email this evening saying he'd been successful. Just keeping my fingers crossed now that his best friend from school has also been picked as that would be the icing on the cake.

[orchidblue]

Well done to your boys Pups_mum, lovely proud moments for you.

[Lisa O`Brien]

Yes, lovely news about your boys, Pups_mum

[Lisa O`Brien]

Had a long chat with Sean tonight.  I said he will be 20 years old in February. What does he hope to be doing with his life in ten years time? I said of the 6 or 7 mates he has, it's almost inevitable that at least one of them will be married and maybe have a kid by the time they're thirty. I said if his closest friend ***** is married or has a girlfriend and they have a child together, which at that age is highly likely, he won't be coming home from work to hang around with you in your bedroom listening to music and playing X Box Live. He'll be going home to his wife/girlfriend and child. He'll be lucky if he sees his friend once a month. I told him as much as his mates are important to him at the moment that's not always going to be the case. One by one, Sean as well, are all going to meet someone, maybe have children, settle down, etc. Hanging around in your mates bedroom listening to music and driving around the town in a car will be things of the past. I said he has to think about his own future and making a life for himself, because one day his friends won't be the major influence in his life they are now. He told me he HAS been thinking about things, and is well aware that over the next ten years things are going to dramatically change for them all. Everyone at college this week have been talking about UCAS applications. I said it's your life and your decision, but applications have to be in by January 15th at the latest, if he wants to continue studying next September. He is thinking about Ulster Uni's Health and Social Care Top Up degree, and also Stranmillis University College Belfast's Early Childhood Studies Degree [although I don't know what use that would be to him], but Stran ,which is a College of Queen's University Belfast is beautiful] .Needless to say, him and his mates took off in the car half an hour ago to drive around aimlessly. But I was pleased he told me he has been considering his future and realises he needs to do what's right for him, not his mates. I don't care if it's uni or local college or a job he does when this course is over , but he needs to start seriously thinking about what he actually wants to do. I'm glad he seems to be thinking the same at least.

[Colman]

Don't worry too much a exactly what use a qualification will be. It's a starting place, not an endpoint. And the world needs more boys with qualifications like that.

[Lisa O`Brien]

True, Colman. He has missed the Ulster Open Day . It was a week ago, which is a shame as it would have given him  a second opportunity to look around. Last time he was there two years ago he hated it, and he and his friends from college all sat outside while everyone else was looking at accommodation and facilities. The Stran open day isn't until 8th February. He said he would rather be studying in Belfast than miles away in Wales or somewhere. Many students here all get the bus early in the morning. It stops at both unis, Queens and Ulster and they get the bus home again every evening, so he knows that is an option too. 

[Fiz]

Perhaps if you ring the admissions office at Ulster, they might let Shaun look around at another time? Most universities have more than one open day now.

[Lisa O`Brien]

Perhaps if you ring the admissions office at Ulster, they might let Shaun look around at another time? Most universities have more than one open day now.

Have actually found via another website, that there are two upcoming open days ;one this Saturday and one next. Drat. One is Magee in Derry and the other one is Coleraine. Both miles and miles away. The man on the phone said we can turn up to either of those and enquire about Jordanstown on the day. That's not going to happen !

Edited September 15, 2016 by Lisa O`Brien

[Lisa O`Brien]

I'll just say this then i'll shut up because i'm hogging this. According to Which Uni, almost every other uni in the country has an acceptance rate of around 97% of the people who apply to Early Childhood Studies. A lot of places only want 2 A Levels to study it. At Stranmillis, only 17% of those who apply are offered a place. It's exactly the same degree as everywhere else. I can only assume its because of the lovely location. They only offer teacher training and ECS, no other courses. But i've told him at Ulster [which he hated] for Health and Social Care, 93% of applicants are accepted. Why do things have to be so complicated? Sigh.

[aileen]

It's worth encouraging Sean to look at Ulster again. Going with a group can negatively influence a person's view of the place if the most powerful / influential member of the group takes a dislike to it. I wonder whether this is what happened two years ago. Apart from anything else, you aren't going to get a proper feel for a place if you don't have a proper look round and so he should give the place another chance. Sean has to decide whether he wants to go to a local university, in which case he appears to have only two choices (one apparently much harder to get into than the other), or whether he is prepared to go further afield which means living away from home, at least during the week. Those are the two options and he has to work with them. Perhaps Ulster isn't exactly what he wants but it might be the best option taking everything into account, or his only option if he is unwilling to leave home and doesn't get a place at Stranmillis. This is an important lesson for young people to learn: you can't always get what you want but you can still be successful / happy / fulfilled etc if you approach what you can have with a positive attitude.

[LinMM]

It would probably be good for him to live away from home for a bit now he's 18 even though it would be hard for you Lisa.

 

I don't know whether one of the Unis offers on site accommodation which is often a good start to the independence route before going into flat/house sharing which may unfortunately be expensive of course.

But it is important for the development of older teenagers and twenties to experience who they are away from home .....which tends to be more difficult to achieve these days which is a shame.

[Lisa O`Brien]

It would probably be good for him to live away from home for a bit now he's 18 even though it would be hard for you Lisa.

 

I don't know whether one of the Unis offers on site accommodation which is often a good start to the independence route before going into flat/house sharing which may unfortunately be expensive of course.

But it is important for the development of older teenagers and twenties to experience who they are away from home .....which tends to be more difficult to achieve these days which is a shame.

I know what you're saying. He's actually 19 now, will be 20 in February. I've told him a lot of places view mature students as anyone over 21 or 22 and that he might not want to leave too much of an age gap between himself and others who will be going into the second year too.

[Anon2]

I wouldn't worry about age gaps. My ds didn't go to university until he was 21. Before he went he was concerned he would be older than the majority on his course. Turned out that there were more older students than younger not only in the course but in the university digs too.

[JulieW]

My younger two are now back at uni (for the last week or two) and the house is feeling a bit empty again - if tidy. Visit from eldest son and his girlfriend this weekend has been lovely and helped my empty nest feeling ease off a bit.

 

My poor daughter went back straight into 4th year exams so was a bit stressed. They had a morning off after the last one and then straight back to full-on lectures. Anyone with an aspiring vet at home, do get in touch with me and I can tell you what it's really like for them.

 

Youngest son is in his final year - doesn't time fly. Hasn't really thrown himself into uni life like his sister (he's a bit more of a solitary character) but he has joined the archery society so I hope he'll enjoy that as a bit of a distraction from the final year stresses.

 

Looking forward to Christmas now!

[Lisa O`Brien]

Sean has applied to five unis; Ulster, Manchester Met [his favourite atm], Liverpool Hope, Liverpool John Moores and London Met. Just about got the application in by the deadline, with just and hour and a half to spare on Sunday night. He may change his mind and decide he really doesn't want to go. He will have until the middle of May to either accept or decline any offer. I think a major thing that has made him decide to apply is the ending of his friendship with his closest friend. I know his friend borrowed £120 off Sean and never paid even a tenner of it back; clearing off to Lanzarote two weeks later to live with his brother. But there is more to it than that. Sean said he will never speak to him again. They have been like brothers since they were eleven. Sean is fairly laid back and easy going, so for him to decide he was never to going to speak to this lad again,  something pretty major must have gone down. I asked him what happened, and he said trust me, you don't want to know. This was the lad I was suggesting move in to live with us if he had nowhere else to stay. What I DO know is that in the days leading up to him flying out to stay with his brother in Lanzarote, he stole the car of his and Sean's other friend's mother. She called the police and he punched the arresting officer. Oh dear. No wonder he's cleared off out of the country. As for the rest of them, they kept coming round all the time. Sean had been given a very generous grant and loan and i'm assuming told everyone how much he suddenly had in his account, even though I warned him not to tell people. Every single day, they all turned up, about five or six. They would all go off in the car and drive around. Sean kept coming back with a McDonald's or KFC every evening. I said I hoped he wasn't buying all that for all his mates as well, but I suspect he may have been. I told him straight they were only hanging around him so much [and bringing more and more mates of theirs who Sean didn't even know] because he has all this money. I said they are not your proper friends and are using you. Lo and behold, when the money started dwindling and Sean realised he needed to start having to watch the pennies to make it last, they all stopped calling for him. I could see what was happening but Sean couldn't. I guess he had to learn for himself, the hard way.  But this one particular friend has always been there. I've said to Sean a few times over the years I think he is unsuitable ,at which he barked at me years ago not to tell him which friends to choose. So I backed off. Sean told me the other day when I said how surprised I was that he hit a policeman , that this lad is quite violent and aggressive and always has been. I was really shocked, as he never came across that way at all. He was always polite and friendly to me. But never interested in his education and never showed any ambition at all for anything. Whispering rubbish to Sean all day long that education is for sad losers and you need to do whatever you want in life, even if it means doing nothing. The same attitude from the other one he is closest to. Sean is impressionable and him listening to his two closest friends day in and day out spout this rubbish to him. While I am trying to tell him how important his education is. So, I know that's not the reason to apply to Uni, but I think it was the main driving force behind it. He might change his mind, but if he does and decided not to go he will be an idiot. His friends at college he said are nice but they're more aquaintances. The other friend he has, sits in the house and never leaves. His "ambition" is to go on the sick long term, as he never wants to have to do a day's work in his life. Charming,eh? It would do Sean the world of good to go away to uni for two years [he's applied for direct entry into year two as he will have a HND], and make some decent friends and make a life for himself. So although he now only has one friend, i'm secretly really pleased. It was the kick up the backside Sean needed to apply to uni. I don't think he would have otherwise, as he and this lad were so close before I doubt Sean would have wanted to be away from this friend, who he called his "brother".

[Fiz]

I'm sure that Sean is hurting, Lisa, but he is so much better off without these so called friends. I hope he decides to go to university and make a real go with his life. I wish him the very best of luck.

[Nicola H]

porthesia, I feel for your daughter. It is so hard starting out now. There are too few graduate level jobs and employers invariably want people with experience. I hope that your daughter isn't getting too "down" about her situation.

However part of the 'problem' rightly or wrongly is that  some graduates don;t want to 'lower' themselves to doing other  short term or seasonal work ...  it;s quite interesting  when you  see the 'work biographies' of soem quite senior people in  big name  retailers   that start off with ' x first worked for the comapny  as a saturday girl / christmas temp ' or ' y first worked with us as an agency colleague at such and such Distribution Centre) ... 

 

the  'graduate job'  of old still exists but the numbers are the same as when 10% of  18/19 year olds went  on into HE   rather than the near 50 % seen now. 

 

There is however a problem  which really  stems  from 2008  of  appinting managers wanting people who can already do the job ... 

 

let;s not even talk about  societies attitudes to  jobs/ education / training  which develop a lot of transferrable skills along side a particular vocation qualification  ... 

[Fiz]

My daughter is working as a waitress. She has a 2:1 degree. She is willing to do anything and so are most of her fellow graduates.

[taxi4ballet]

let;s not even talk about  societies attitudes to  jobs/ education / training  which develop a lot of transferrable skills along side a particular vocation qualification  ... 

No, not on this thread anyway.

[Blossom]

I've been looking at a few of your conversations about school and/or uni leavers and not sure if this is of interest, but to those who say their children would gladly take any job, this is what I can tell you from my industry, advertising:-

 

 

School leavers - apprenticeships - everything you need to know http://www.creativepioneers.co.uk/Jobs

 

 

Post uni paid internships - there are TONS of entry level jobs in London in particular, but not exclusively. This is the industry internships site which is pretty good at giving a complete overview. Because data is so important these days in everything we do in the digital world and beyond, there are actually some really interesting roles for people with a maths or science background who know how to manage data, structure tests.... http://www.theadmission.co.uk/

 

I think one of the toughest things for graduates is knowing what they want to do if they haven't done a degree, but maybe this industry would appeal. It is somewhat competitive for the programmes I've linked to, but there are still often plenty of entry level jobs available in companies like mine. 

 

I hope this might help just one of your kids!

[Lisa O`Brien]

My son, who turned 20 two days ago, has been given a conditional offer to study Social Care at Manchester Metropolitan University, direct entry into Year Two. The condition being he is awarded a Pass grade in his HND . He needs to double check this. Ulster University a few months ago said he will need 2 Distinctions 2 Merits and 4 Passes to be allowed directly into the second year, but Man Met are saying he only needs a Pass. Not heard from the other four; Ulster, Liverpool Hope, Liverpool John Moores, and London Met. But he has just said he wants to take the Man Met offer. Don't know if I mentioned this on here before or not but a few weeks ago Sean had a massive, massive argument with his best friend of nine years. Said he will never speak to him again. I think this spurred him on to apply. He has until the beginning of May to decide, and he might change his mind again. But just thought I would share the news.

[Nicola H]

My son, who turned 20 two days ago, has been given a conditional offer to study Social Care at Manchester Metropolitan University, direct entry into Year Two. The condition being he is awarded a Pass grade in his HND . He needs to double check this. Ulster University a few months ago said he will need 2 Distinctions 2 Merits and 4 Passes to be allowed directly into the second year, but Man Met are saying he only needs a Pass. Not heard from the other four; Ulster, Liverpool Hope, Liverpool John Moores, and London Met. But he has just said he wants to take the Man Met offer. Don't know if I mentioned this on here before or not but a few weeks ago Sean had a massive, massive argument with his best friend of nine years. Said he will never speak to him again. I think this spurred him on to apply. He has until the beginning of May to decide, and he might change his mind again. But just thought I would share the news.

congratulations  to your son on his  Uni offer. 

 

HND is a level 5 QCF  qualification which is equivalent to the second year of a 3 year bachelors ,

 

I do wonder if  the DDMMPPPP  offer might have been for  year 3 / 'top-up' entry  - but  as  i haven't seen the paperwork. 

 

sometimes  massive arguments and  breakups of  friendships / relationships  are just the spur  someone needs. 

 

working in health or social care ( or  the care / front line end of the criminal justice system)  can be massively  rewarding  it can also be a very lonely and bad place  if  circumstances conspire against you.