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Bad Ballet Mummy.

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I was unable to watch my 7year old daughters Winter Dance Show due to work commitment which I was unable to change. She was very understanding and had lots of family supporting her including Daddy.

 

I ordered the Dvd and looked forward to watching it with her. When it arrived I could'nt help having a sneaky look while she was at school, and recognising the costume for her part I eagerly sat to watch.

 

On danced all these little dancers and I DID'NT KNOW WHICH ONE WAS HER, THEY ALL LOOKED THE SAME.!!  I squinted at the screen, moved closer an still could'nt tell.

 

When Hubby came home I asked him, he stared at me in disbelief put on the dvd and pointed her out. Of course once pointed out I could easily tell it was her [ well sort of ] and was able to watch it with her later and pretend I knew all along. Am I a bad ballet Mummy?

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NO!!!! I was lucky enough to get to all my DDs EYB performances but when we got the DVDs I could never see her! My mother always came to the performances and would openly ask me to let her know when she was coming on stage and point her out ((: it's all that makeup and those hair do's! Nightmare.

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II have to make sure I try and attend more than one performance as on several occasions my daughter has left the stage before I have worked out which one she is.

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My husband and l drove for 4 hours to watch our Dd perform a class and a solo in a ballet competition. After the performance Dd asked her dad if her leg was too parallel and not turned out enough at the finish ? His reply was " I don't know, l had my eyes shut for the whole thing ! " ????

The last time he watched her dance she had made a real hash of it, so this time he said he just couldn't watch ????

Don't beat yourself up ! Us parents make so many sacrifices for our children. Just make the most of it, blink and its gone ????

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Don't stress about it, if it weren't for DD's ears I would never have known which child she was on stage when she was younger.  Thankfully she has now grown into her ears i.e. they are now in proportion to the rest of her!

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I recently got out a DVD copy of the Moulin Rouge show I was dancing in. Have only watched the whole thing about three times and I was in the show thirty years ago. Well I really struggled to pick myself out in all the numbers. Just like with many child and teenage dancers, we all looked so alike physically it was almost impossible to find myself. Plus there were over 50 people on stage which kind of made it tricky. The only thing that definately stood out was during the Can Can. We had to do this thing with our partner called the Cathedral. You face each other and hold both hands. Two rows of girls standing in front of each other, eight girls each side, so sixteen in all. Stand on your bent left leg, and put the soles of your right feet together. Straighten your left legs, lifting your right legs up straight so your legs are high up and then hold that position as a male dancer slides underneath our legs in the splits to the front of the stage. When you and your partner are secure, you have to let go of the other girl with your hand, whichever hand is facing nearest the audience, so for us on the right we let go with our left hand. You pick up the side of your dress and hold it. Then you swing your right leg out from being high up and drop to the splits. Well the husband of the couple I was living with was filming the show. I didn't have hold of my partner's hand properly and the two of us were really struggling to hold on to each other. We could finally hold on no more and both of us had to pull out. Luckily the male dancer had already completed his slide through our legs or we would have clobbered him on the head. It was the only time anyone filmed the whole show in which we were actually able to keep a copy of it, and me and my Can Can partner messed up the Cathedral. The mistake is forever preserved on film and I just can't watch that section. Sigh.

Edited by Lisa O`Brien
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Your post made me laugh baby steps. We've all done it and only a couple of weeks ago we were waiting for dd outside of school and dh shouted to the wrong child that the car was over there and then wondered why he was ignored!!

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One bun head is pretty much the same as another - easily done.  Dancing in baseball caps and black leggings doesn't make them easy to spot either.  I am guilty of this one big time!

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I used to assist backstage at our local dancing school annual show and have mistaken another child for my daughter on a number of occassions when they were in the same room.  They looked similar and in costume with hair & makeup identical they were impossible to tell apart from behind.  Oh well - the kids found it funny! :D

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I have also had difficulty recognising my daughter in DVD's. I am a really terrible parent as I have fallen asleep several times when she is performing. Usually its during dance festival competitions when there are twenty plus in a section and she is number 18 or something similar. I find some genres easier to fall asleep to than others lol.

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My daughter did a dance day at Covent Garden when a mid associate with RBS. Many years down the line and I still find it hard to spot her. They are all the same size and physique with the same posture. They all have the same sized heads and necks.

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I have also had difficulty recognising my daughter in DVD's. I am a really terrible parent as I have fallen asleep several times when she is performing. Usually its during dance festival competitions when there are twenty plus in a section and she is number 18 or something similar. I find some genres easier to fall asleep to than others lol.

I remember falling asleep in B section ballet ( 7-8 year olds).  There were 26 in the section and my dd was number 23.  Missed her performance completely which was a shame as she was placed 1st!  I love ballet but at that age it's pretty boring to watch.

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I think we've all been there done that and not necessarily when they were younger either.  A few years ago I was sat waiting for the end of year dance show to begin at DDs vocational school and I got talking to an elderly couple next to me. They announced proudly that their granddaughter had just joined the sixth form. All the way through act 1 they were 'spotting' their granddaughter and pointing her out to me. I hadn't the heart to tell them that act 1 was only years 7-11 and that they had pointed out about five different children of various sizes and ages to me. They realised their mistake when they looked at the programme in the break and laughed about it, asking if I could tell them which numbers their granddaughter could be in in act 2.

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When DD last did EYB I went with quite a big group of family and friends to watch, and I was the only one who could work out which one she was (I could recognise her feet...now that is sad...) But afterwards she was pleased that nobody spotted her. Her comment was "We are all meant to look the same - if I stood out I wouldn't be doing my job properly".

So if you can't spot your own child I would advise saying something like "You were amazing. The way you managed to work so well with the group was so fantastic that I could barely tell you apart...) :ph34r:

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When my daughter was 7 she was a mouse / rat in her ballet school's production of Nutcracker. All the children wore identical costumes with headdresses which obscured most of their faces. I couldn't identify my daughter and she told me that she was the first mouse / rat to run onto the stage (proud mother moment!). However, as there was a first mouse / rat on each side of the stage and I never got it clear which side of the stage she had run on from I still wasn't sure which one she was.

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This thread makes me feel a lot better.

I was berating myself the other day ....as a regular ROH attender .....for not being absolutely sure which dancer was which in the second Act of Woolf Works especially. It took me nearly half the Act to suddenly recognise which one was Osipova!!

 

Now I know it's difficult to even spot one of your own I don't feel so bad!!

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In a local amateur show there is a girl who is a dead ringer for my dd. I have to concentrate very hard to tell them apart!

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This thread makes me feel a lot better.

I was berating myself the other day ....as a regular ROH attender .....for not being absolutely sure which dancer was which in the second Act of Woolf Works especially. It took me nearly half the Act to suddenly recognise which one was Osipova!!

 

Now I know it's difficult to even spot one of your own I don't feel so bad!!

Hope she doesn't cop out in a couple of weeks at the ROH.

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This thread makes me feel a lot better.

I was berating myself the other day ....as a regular ROH attender .....for not being absolutely sure which dancer was which in the second Act of Woolf Works especially. It took me nearly half the Act to suddenly recognise which one was Osipova!!

 

Now I know it's difficult to even spot one of your own I don't feel so bad!!

 

I'm a regular RB attender.  If you lined up the RB dancers in front of me, I'd be able to put a name to almost every female dancer from principal to Aud Jebsen Young Dancer (though not quite as well as I could have done a few years ago, as I don't go as often and have lost track of some of the younger/newer company members).

 

The men, on the other hand... OBJECTIVELY I know they don't all look the same, but I'd really start to struggle with who was who after I got past the ones who are really distinctive-looking either facially, or in their height, or whatever.

 

I've always found my brain processes women's looks in much more detail than men's, for some weird reason, even when all the women have identical tutus and ballet buns.

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I once went to watch ribs nutcracker as two (WL) children very close to our family were dancing and I'd promised I would support them. Thoroughly enjoyed the ballet but when it got to the end I realised I hadn't seen them at all, of course I couldn't tell them that so I did the only possible thing and told them I thought they were lovely!

 

Also watched my DDs dance in the school summer show one year thinking she looked lovely, right at the end of the dance I realised I'd been watching the wrong girl. I claim immunity on this one as the number was very darkly lit

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My mother always asked me to say where I would be on my first entrance hoping she would be able to keep track after that.   DD carried on with this tradition and. even took it one better.  She would write out a precis of entrances and exits, not just for herself but also for any particular friends she wanted me to watch.

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If DD is dancing in anything that has more than one performance, I have to see first performance, with my list of entrances etc, so that when we then go with family and friends, I can point her out!

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Loving these stories!

 

My mother was a different sort of not-a-ballet-mother as she'd trained full-time herself and earned her living as a dancer & then actor from the age of about 17 or so. So we got serious critiques, and a reluctance for us to do any shows or competitions as they were so amateurish (she's right, they were). And she NEVER hung around the studio or theatre, because the competitive but ignorant parents just wound her up. But she watched our performances intently and always had constructive & useful feedback.

 

I learned from her that you were late unless you were there half an hour early to warm up!

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Thank you for all your replies, I had great fun reading them.

 

As an aside, I spoke to my lovely Mother-in-law who was sitting next to very smug Hubby at the show, who told me he didn't have a clue which one was little dd. A lady sitting a few seats away who had helped backstage pointed her out to bewildered hubby!

 

Just wait until he gets back from Rugby , Sunday Dinner,Hah!  I'm sure I saw a frozen fishcake and some peas stuck to the bottom of the freezer.

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