Back to school/starting school

[Happymum]

I wanted to wish everybody a happy, successful and injury free year at vocational school.

Good luck to all DC going for the first time.

 

My DD is going back tomorrow and I have to say that my heart aches, it's not any easier that it was last year. She already says she will miss us all after 7 weeks at home :-( last year there was the excitement, the "dream came true" feeling. But still DD won't change it for anything so I hope as soon as the ballet classes start she will feel better. I need to keep myself very busy next week, especially in the evenings.

[Lifeafterballet]

It's 5th September drop off for Dd and 1st for Ds. I thought packing for one was bad ????

We have hired a bus to transport all their kit. Our house will be very empty tomorrow ????

Safe journey everyone ????

[Lisa O`Brien]

Are the children given any advice regarding what to do ,dance/exercise wise during the holiday? Are they encouraged to attend summer schools and drop in classes or is nothing at all mentioned either way? [i'm thinking of the four top schools really].

Edited September 3, 2016 by Lisa O`Brien

[meadowblythe]

Especially for new parents - one thing I have learnt is don't accept the "conventional wisdom" in whatever form. Each is different and some get so tired that all they need is a little time away from what can be a pressurised environment.  Others love it and are best living in denial of home even existing.

 

For the past few years I have sent my children a weekly postcard when they are away from home, and was touched to find that eldest son has decorated his wall at his latest flat with the collection.  I buy them by the packet/book from bookshops so I always have one to hand.  

 

OK, I have also spent a lot of the term sending forgotten items too.  Every term I threaten that what is forgotten will have to be gone without but it never works.  One memorable occasion it was every item of underwear.  DS' room mate helpfully suggested that they could always share his!

 

I think it is also worth remembering, even if your child had gone to the local secondary most are shattered at the end of first week, and finding it hard to adjust to a new regime.  It's never easy starting at any new school.

 

Now, I have a set of clothes to locate and even think about labelling ...

[Harwel]

Are the children given any advice regarding what to do ,dance/exercise wise during the holiday? Are they encouraged to attend summer schools and drop in classes or is nothing at all mentioned either way? [i'm thinking of the four top schools really].

Just asked DS about this. Apparently they are not really given any advice prior to the holiday as to what is or is not expected. However, he says that when they return they are asked what they have done and it is viewed favourably if they have undertaken holiday classes/summer schools. It is absolutely expected that will have a proper rest though.

[Dance*is*life]

Oh and please give a thought to the teachers going back to work after a long break!  I managed to get in three classes myself between coming back from holiday abroad and starting to teach, so that I would be able to demonstrate, but I was shattered after teaching three 90 minute classes back to back on Thursday!   In one class I had 7 new students joining 13 old ones and had to deal with the parents inbetween classes, because the Dance Principal was at another centre.  And I have a brand new group who came up to me and I have to learn 20 new names there!  Never a dull moment!   Still the best bit was being greeted so enthusiastically by my lovely older group who are just going up to Intermediate.  The hugs and smiles and warm remarks about missing me and the school made my day!

[Karen]

We land at 1.00am on Wed morning and after a night in the airport hotel take Dd back to school later that day. Just hope the car with all her stuff in is still at the airport...!!

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Oh my Karen!

[Billyelliott]

Safe journey to everyone xx

[dramascientist]

Good luck to everyone, I cannot believe that DD is starting her third year at Ballet West, it only seems like yesterday that I was dropping a 16 yr old DD off there on the Sunday before term started. I hope all the new students and their parents have a great day today dropping off and settling them in, it's hard for us but they are doing what they love. Especially the new students at Ballet West, it's a lovely place they will soon settle in!

 

Best wishes

DRSC

[All4dancers]

Just spent a fabulous weekend in Scotland and will soon be leaving my dd in her house (with beautiful mountain views) ready to start at Ballet West. I had wondered whether she'd made the right choice, but after spending time here and speaking to the staff I know this is the right place for her and feel very excited for her future. Good luck to everyone else starting and continuing their dance education. x

[Frost]

I am also dropping Dd off at her Ballet West accommodation today. It is her first year, and all very exciting! She is my first child moving out, so not sure what to expect. Fortunately there are 3 more at home, so I will be kept busy, and hopefully will not feel overwhelmingly sad without her. She certainly seems very happy, and I am also very happy for her getting to pursue her dream!

 

The first year students at Ballet West were given an exercise programme for summer that they were recommended to do to prepare for vocational school, and it was quite comprehensive! It took Dd 3 hours to go through it all, and she has been working on this if not daily, so at least every week I think.

 

Good luck to all students and parents for a new and exciting school year!

[swanprincess]

An exercise program, Frost?! Can you PM it to me please as I didn't get one!!xx

[Happymum]

Just dropped my DD off. I feel like crying but she was very happy to see her friends and was beaming and smiling when we were leaving.

Good luck to all the parents... Hope your DC happiness makes it easier to cope with them being away from home.

[Stirrups36]

Throat infection and antibiotics means return will be Wed Not today... But as last time he had a throat infection, it ended up as a Quinsy throat, best to be safe not sorry!

 

Have a good term all, especially all those starting a new school. And their parents.

[drdance]

Best of luck everyone! Look after yourselves and each other (Parents and DC's!) xxxx

[Billyelliott]

Throat infection and antibiotics means return will be Wed Not today... But as last time he had a throat infection, it ended up as a Quinsy throat, best to be safe not sorry!

 

Oh dear hope he recovers quickly !

Edited September 4, 2016 by Billyelliott

[Happymum]

And already one tearful call from DD... ????

I wish others homesickness free term

[Fiz]

Oh dear. I hope it passes quickly.

[Pups_mum]

We had a bit of a nightmare journey up to Ballet West with horrendous traffic meaning it took us nearly 3 hours longer than it should. Sadly that meant that we almost literally threw DD's stuff out of our car and turned straight back, but as she was taking ages to answer texts later as she was busy with her new house mates I'm guessing all is well! She drove all the way there herself which is by far the longest drive she's ever done, and her little car isn't the most comfortable for long journeys.I think she is quite relieved that tomorrow is just induction with no dancing til Tuesday as she was very tired when we got there.

[dramascientist]

I feel yours and her pain pups_mum, it can be a nightmare drive! My DD did it herself for the first time this year, picture mum and dad biting their nails at home!

[Pups_mum]

I can imagine dramascientist! I sat in with DD yesterday and my husband followed in his car so it wasn't too bad. One of us could have taken over if it had got too much for her, but in fact she did remarkably well. I will be extremely anxious the first time she drives home on her own mind you. Given her age she's extremely competent - we wouldn't have let her take her car if we didn't think she was up to it - but you can't know what everyone else on the road is going to do can you?

Still, plenty of time before I need to worry about that - lots of higher priority anxieties first!

I don't know how parents of years 7s cope at all. DD is 18 and I feel like a lost soul with her gone, it must be dreadfully hard for parents of little ones.

[Liveforballet]

We arrived home at 4am this morning after leaving Ballet West last night at 6pm! Stopped for an hour for food on way. Now I'm home it's that awful feeling that if they need you I'm so far from dd that they will just have to manage! Am sure she is fine as she was out with your Dd pups_mum for dinner! Very excited to start school today and I can't wait to hear all about it. Big adjustment all round but am super proud of my dd going so far away. But to live this dream is a privilege to only a few so I wish them all the best of luck and to all us mums feeling like me stay strong and if all else fails there is always wine!

[dancingmum123]

Dropped my dd off at Elmhurst yesterday.  She was settled and happy but we were so flat going home...its so quiet without her.  My ds is missing her already.  She rang us a couple of times and was loving it, not hear a peep though today (not that I expected to) but would love to be a fly on the wall to see what they are all up to....going to keep busy like @happymum

[Anna C]

Wishing everyone a happy time! I hope for minimum homesickness for the students, and a very happy term. It's horribly difficult leaving your beloved child at a new school so sending virtual hugs to you parents. If it's any comfort, it'll soon be Christmas.

[baby steps]

I just saw a lovely picture of the new year 7's on the Elmhurst facebook page. They looked very happy.

[drdance]

I feel for all of you parents! I will share with you something that I learnt during my time as a summer camp counselor in the USA. While not boarding school, it was a sleepaway camp and kids as young as 10 were there for at least 4 weeks. The following principle really helped with homesickness. Campers were not allowed to talk to their parents on the phone, unless there was an emergency or severe anxiety. Parents could contact the camp director who would pass on messages, and allay any fears from the parents. The campers could write letters, and loved to receive mail - letters, cards, packages. But mobile phones were strongly discouraged and the campers were not allowed any internet access.

 

This wouldn't work in the same way in a boarding school, but it was great for a short period of time. What it did was it allowed the campers to really get involved with what was happening. They were kept busy with structured activities throughout the day, and while some children did get homesick, the staff were very well equipped to deal with it, there were nurses and a therapist (counsellor) on site all the time and what was incredible was how quickly the majority of children got over their homesickness. The first time a lot of the campers contacted their parents was the first beach day, which was halfway through the second week of camp - when some of them queued for ages to use the payphones. Interestingly, homesickness always increased after beach days. 

 

Parents - I know how hard it must be to be separated from your loved ones, and the chances are that every time you have contact with them they will seem miserable. This is because you're the people they feel most comfortable sharing any concerns/whines/grumbles with. This doesn't mean that they are miserable all of the time though! I'm sure other parents of DC's away at school can advise but based on my experience I know that the braver you can be about stepping back, giving them the opportunity to immerse themselves in school and everything there is to do there, the less anxious they will be about home. If they are constantly in contact with you/ home then home will be on their mind, they will miss it more,  they won't get so involved with school things (because they're busy thinking about home and when you might be contacting them next) so then they might feel like they aren't part of the school things, which will increase their homesickness! Being busy is great because it keeps their mind busy, but also makes sure that they ingratiate themselves fully into the life of the school. This will help them feel more like they belong at school, and won't miss home so much. 

 

If you haven't heard from your DC then the chances are that they are busy and having fun doing what they do - in classes, bonding with friends etc etc. If you're worried then perhaps contact the house parent or pastoral staff, but try to resist contacting your DC - if they're busy and miss your call or message, they might worry and not enjoy their experience. 

 

I hope all you parents are doing ok, I do sometimes think it's harder for the parents than the kids! Wishing you all lots of Olaf style warm hugs!

[JulieW]

Thinking of you all.

 

My son's now 23 but I can remember those year 7 early days very vividly - he was the most homesick child they'd had apparently (and it went on for over a term and beyond - until about year 9 - on returning days). They "used" him when he was older to talk to the younger ones about getting over it!! So if anyone needs me please feel free to PM.

[meadowblythe]

Two comments regarding the posts above

 

drdance - whilst I appreciate the sense in what you  are saying, what my son needed more than anything was a night away from school and a good solid sleep.  By the end of three weeks he was so unhappy and so tired that it had lasting repercussions.  I bitterly regret not having seen him and taking him away for a night sooner.    All I am saying is your milage may vary ...

 

Julie W - you know we still talk about the "pros and cons" talk your son gave my  son after he had lugged a large suitcase to the bottom of the drive for the umpteemth time ...  it was the first glimmer of light he (or we) had seen and we remain grateful to him for his kindness and care at that time.

[drdance]

Awwww Meadowblythe I totally agree that there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach, it's so difficult. I hope your DS is doing better now. 

[JulieW]

Oh meadowblythe - that's lovely, thanks. I'm very proud of him and I'm so pleased things are going well for you x

[angel]

Dr Dance I could almost cry reading you advice.  

 

My older DD was miserable practically from the moment I left her that exciting and proud day until at least the end of Year 10.  Whenever I called the school to ask how she was they said she was fine.  She wasn't fine but she got very good at acting like she was fine by the end.  In my view, it is very similar to the behaviour of a child who is being abused.

 

Listen to your children.  Talk to your children. 

[JulieW]

Angel - that's very interesting (and sad) to read - it's made me glad that although our son cried a lot, he was at least open with his feelings and let people help him.  He had fantastic house parents who stood in for me admirably.