along for the ride mum Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 But did it jump or was it pushed...? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 We went for a lovely walk this morning in the sunshine, and had a bit of a chuckle along the way. There is a footpath which runs down between some houses and leads out onto fields beyond. At each end of the footpath, someone has attached a sign to the fence which reads: Take care You are entering Dog Poo Alley YUK! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddsballetmum Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Sign in a restuarant in London this weekend "Unattended children will be given fizzy drinks and a puppy" I thought it was a fun way of telling people to keep their children under control 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 As long as it's intended for the 2-5 age range!! Imagine a gullible 6 year old able to read the notice!! They might get upset when not given a puppy!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melody Posted March 29, 2014 Share Posted March 29, 2014 Helpful sign on a bag of frozen edamame: "Allergy warning! Contains soy!" Well, yes, edamame actually are soybeans, I think I knew that they'd contain soy. Honestly... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan McNulty Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 That's as good as the similar notice that appears on bags of nuts! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thecatsmother Posted April 15, 2014 Share Posted April 15, 2014 Driving to work the other day when I went past a small van advertising a slimming product-the headline was 'Stink Yourself Slim'. It did cause my mind generate a few creative ideas as to what this might mean...? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Sign seen recently on a tourist double decker - Top on and off for sightseeing! Well! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 4, 2014 Author Share Posted September 4, 2014 Along the river embankment in Bedford there are many signposts, one of which is a triangular one with a duck on it. Fixed to the signpost immediately underneath is a new sign: "Average Speed Cameras Being Installed here Soon" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisiblecircus Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 In a warehouse: "Could the person who took the ladder please return it before 10am tomorrow, otherwise further steps will be taken." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted September 14, 2014 Share Posted September 14, 2014 Hee hee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 14, 2014 Author Share Posted September 14, 2014 In a local paper ad for a garage: "We fit (x-brand) tyres, because we don't know any better" 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Another puzzling one seen this morning: "Mobile Road Works" ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinMM Posted June 13, 2015 Share Posted June 13, 2015 There are so many road works in Brighton at the moment that it feels like they are mobile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Just home after a long and boring drive up the M23, M25, M11, A1 etc etc, I was temporarily amused and distracted somewhere along the way, by a road sign indicating a crematorium off to the left. A few feet further on there was another sign saying No Dumping. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quintus Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 (edited) My local Morrisons has a sign outside saying "Start Saving For Christmas". that's more of a customer base indicator; Lidl has theirs out on January 5th and Waitrose only on December 10th edit: I have no idea how I've just come to comment on a three year old post! sorry! Edited April 5, 2016 by Quintus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 (edited) Driving down the high street of a nearby town, I saw a billboard sign on the pavement for 'Quality Solicitors', offering various services including Divorce from only £110!!! There was an * next to the !!!, so I imagine the 'from only' part is open to interpretation. Still possibly a bargain though. The degree of the quality was not specified. At the moment I passed the sign, the radio was playing When Love Breaks Down by Prefab Sprout. How appropriate. Edited August 22, 2016 by Jacqueline 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted August 23, 2016 Author Share Posted August 23, 2016 While on holiday last week we visited the loveliest picture-postcard seaside village, bobbing painted yachts, gorgeous thatched cottages, marvellous views, ancient beautiful church, the lot. As we were walking through the village and quite near the shore, we noticed a delightful little house for sale, and were thinking wow, how great to live in a place like this. Then we noticed the name painted on the gate and decided perhaps not, after all! 'Flood Cottage' 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balletfanp Posted August 23, 2016 Share Posted August 23, 2016 I saw a great sign propped up by a Big Issue seller - "Come and buy your Big Issue. No pushing and shoving - please form an orderly queue!" I bought one from him just for his sense of humour! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 My local market town has a food and drink festival today, with many stalls selling street food. One of them was selling specialist sausages and hot dogs etc, and the chaps serving had t-shirts with this emblazoned on the back: Sausage Technician 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 There is a well known takeaway chain that advertises for staff quite often. The job title is Sandwich Artist. I wonder what they call people who work in a pub nowadays! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balletfanp Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 Local outdoor shop once had a sign in their window "Now is the winter of our discount tents"..... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 There is a well known takeaway chain that advertises for staff quite often. The job title is Sandwich Artist. I wonder what they call people who work in a pub nowadays! Liquid beverage fulfilment logistics manager? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alison Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 With apologies for lowering the tone , you've reminded me of a sign spotted in the ladies' loos in a theatre some months ago: "All sanitary ware must be deposited in the Southalls bins provided ..." I was trying to work out how on earth you could fit a washbasin or a toilet bowl in the bin! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melody Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 (edited) As long as the tone has been lowered , I remember seeing a neon sign inside the childrens' section of a department store a while back which had lost some of its letters. So instead of "Great Clothes To Grow Up In," it actually said (and I don't know whether this really was random or if it had been tampered with), "Great Clothes To G-o- -P In." On the subject of missing neon letters, our local Safeway (yes, we still have Safeway over here, it hasn't turned into Morrison's) had lost some of its letters and instead of saying SAFEWAY it just said -AFEW--. Not the greatest of advertisements. Edited September 4, 2016 by Melody 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 Liquid beverage fulfilment logistics manager? Well, yes that works, but I was thinking maybe something else with the word Artist in it? The tone has been lowered after all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 As long as the tone has been lowered , I remember seeing a neon sign inside the childrens' section of a department store a while back which had lost some of its letters. So instead of "Great Clothes To Grow Up In," it actually said (and I don't know whether this really was random or if it had been tampered with), "Great Clothes To G-o- -P In." On the subject of missing neon letters, our local Safeway (yes, we still have Safeway over here, it hasn't turned into Morrison's) had lost some of its letters and instead of saying SAFEWAY it just said -AFEW--. Not the greatest of advertisements. I think it must have been tampered with but I like it. Somebody had a sense of humour! I recall a few years ago, the big supermarkets were having a back to school literacy drive, which mostly involved flogging related wares. It's not just about the money after all, they really do care about whether the kids can read and write! The effort was somewhat undermined by our local emporium displaying their name as Morrisons's. Oh well, it's the thought that counts. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
All4dancers Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 There is a hairdressers near where I live called 'Curl up and Dye' ???? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balletfanp Posted September 4, 2016 Share Posted September 4, 2016 There is a dog grooming parlour at the end of our road called "Dirty Dogs and Filthy Bitches" ????. Forgot that one, probably because I see it every day! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quintus Posted September 9, 2016 Share Posted September 9, 2016 My local Sainsbury has a section signed "Adult Cereal". Appropriately enough, it's on the top shelf. I shudder to think what the free toys inside are. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted March 13, 2017 Author Share Posted March 13, 2017 An advertisement on an A-frame outside our local beauty salon has me grinning today. It's a special offer, but I'm not entirely sure who their target market is: 3 for 2 Pedicures 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yaffa Posted March 19, 2017 Share Posted March 19, 2017 From the English version of a theatre website: "It is not allowed to enter the auditorium in upper garments." The mind boggles 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacqueline Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Called in the office on the ground floor this afternoon. They have a framed certificate stating they were the runners up in the Happiest Office competition. They are officially the second happiest office in the county I think, not in the country or even in the building. I'm not sure how high the happiness bar was set - all the time, most of the time, at least some of the time. As one of the runners up said, you can't be happy all the time. If that was the requirement, the winners must have been faking it. Coming second is an easier standard to maintain. No surprise our lot didn't bother entering the comp, or even know about it. I had never heard of it but I would've been prepared to make an effort. Especially if there was a cash prize. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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