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Puberty - and associated Female Problems...


irishballetmom

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My beautiful red headed ballerina is developing a chest. To me it is proportional, not very big, and she looks stunning, but she is convinced it will ruin her chance of becoming a classical ballerina. She won't take off her crossover in class because she is embarassed. She has apparently thought this since her Royal Ballet Y8 audition in January when she compared herself to all the other 12 year olds and says no one else had "them". Oh dear. I had no idea she had kept this to herself all these months. She is very slim and very fit but does have a chest growing, but I am afraid she might make this an unhealthy obsession.

 

How do I convince her that this won't ruin her life. She has many years ahead of her and who knows how she will develop! And not every classical ballerina is completely flat chested right?

 

Ah, the start of puberty...I think I need a glass of wine!

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Not every classical ballerina is flat chested (eg Polina Semionova) but it has to be said that most appear to have a small bust. All girls will develop a bust eventually and it may be that most of the girls at her audition are late developers and have yet to grow a bust.

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Oh your poor dd irishballet mom.

:(

My dd is only 10 and also has developed a small bust, yet she made finals for Rbs, Elmhurst and Hammond. She has also been offered mids for Rbs and will be going to the Hammond in September. :D

I was worried with her being so young but it didn't seem to matter in the end!

Tell your lovely dd to keep enjoying her ballet and working hard. :)

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Your poor dd Irishballetmum ???? I started developing at the age of 10 which worried me however now, 5 years down the line, I'm quite content with my bust size as although it isn't the size I would like it to be (flat ) it's still smaller then an average 15 year old (I think it's smaller then an average 13 year tbh ????) just reassure your DD that just because she's started developing now doesn't mean they are going to develop bigger then she wants them to be xx

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Dancing Pickles, thanks for the reassurance, she started at 11 to develop but they are more noticeable now. They still aren't huge lol but she is self conscious! What she needs to worry about more (and me as chauffeur) is getting more hours of dance in to have a good chance at being at a level to be accepted at 16 for vocational school which is her dream. Right now most other physical traits for ballet are good, short torso, long legs, bendy feet and good turnout... We shall see how it all develops lol!

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Oh poor thing ! I remember the 'trauma' myself...when most girls are wishing for bigger busts, us dancing girls just wanted to strap them down ! Yes, there are classical dancers with busts (watch the Royal Ballet class video on youtube for example) Don't forget that on stage the girls are mostly wearing a very fitted bodice as part of the tutu. I understand your concern regarding the 'unhealthy obsession' (My non dancing DD -13- told me yesterday that she's too fat....she's not, at all) Sometimes it's best (imo) not to make an issue of it - puberty does funny things to a child's body (and mind !!!), but tell her that it's important to eat healthily, work hard and focus on strengthening her lovely long legs, bendy feet and good turnout. The rest will take care of itself :)

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No, certainly not every ballerina is flat-chested. I can think of several examples.

 

Perhaps a lot of this is that she's feeling self-conscious at developing before her peers? They'll probably catch her up and even overtake her, but it's a difficult time, certainly. I remember one of my schoolmates started her periods at 9. I think it was (and this was a *long* time ago!), and I think that must have been very difficult for her - nobody wants to feel different when they're developing, and yet she had to go and use the "grown-up" toilets (in our school, they varied in door height, for instance, depending on how far up the school you were) because none of the others had disposal bins.

 

Not sure really what to suggest here, except to make sure that she does have good support when it's needed - might built-in shelf bras and heavier materials help? Are there leo etc. designs which de-emphasise the bust?

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She looks absolutely beautiful in your profile picture...reassure her by the time she is 16 and trying for vocational school, everyone will have caught up!  It is scary for girls tho as you just have no idea how puberty will change their bodies and it is the one thing they cannot control and we as mums can't fix!! Hope she feels better soon xx

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I don't know the rest of her dance group and where they are in their "development" but a couple of years ago my friend in Oz's daughter was the first in her ballet group so to speak to start developing ...so it marked her out for a while (okay now) ...she obviously felt very self conscious about this but funnily enough it seemed to be one of teachers who had more of a problem with it as she started to lose her child like sylphness!!

 

Is your daughter the first in this way? When the others catch up I'm sure she will be fine :)

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The girls in her class here are all older and more recreational, none seem to want dance as a career... She is comparing herself to the girls at Royal audition, thinking she needs to be flat for vocational training. She has such a strong passion to try and make it and feels different to the norm so it was really upsetting her last night. In the light of day she seems to be more philosophical again.

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She did the Year 8 audition in London, great experience as we weren't expecting anything and we have local friends who came along, with visit to London Eye, great day out! She was towards the older end of the queue which I learned was by age....there were taller there for sure but not as developed girls there!

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Funnily enough, I remember looking at the photos on the RBS website (not sure if they are still the same ones) and thinking that the girls in the pink leotards (which  I think - but may be wrong) meant that they were Y7s were all developing a small bust. I had always thought, clearly like your DD, that ballet dancers would be totally flat-chested until at least say 14 - and clearly I was wrong. Your DD could also take comfort from the fact that she seemed to be one of the only ones at the RBS Y8 audition who had started to develop, as I remember a paediatrician saying that once a bust was developing there was a finite amount of growth to go height-wise, so a tiny flat-chested 12 year old could often outstrip a curvier tall 12 year old in terms of eventual height - and tall ballet dancers still do seem to worry about the effect of their height on their chosen career path, despite it not apparently being the barrier it once was.

 

If you or your DD is worried, having considered her genetic inheritance, about the likely eventual size of her chest, perhaps you could discreetly look into seam-free bras she could wear under leotards and/or different styles of leotard, eg the Capezio Bra-Tek or Just Ballet's leotards, to help.

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Oh no your poor DD. I hope she is going to be OK. This reminds me exactly of myself. When saying prayers every night as a child ,after I had said normal prayers,then prayers for others I used to ask God to "Please don`t let me grow too tall or grow large boobs". I really wanted to be a ballet dancer back then.a Well at 5 FT 7IN and with small breasts I got my prayers answered. Unfortunately as an adult I wished I had grown a couple of inches more,both in height AND in bust area.!!

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She isn't tall at all so I do hope she will grow some more is just 4' 10" right now, was hoping she would grow taller than me, I am only 5'1" hoping she would get to 5' 3" or more lol! Poor kid if she is petite with a chest! As I say, it is there and noticeable but by no means huge, if proportions stay the same as she grows then she will be just fine!

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Hi Irishballet mum

Your dd sounds very average (in a nice way) in her development.when my dd was a JA I would say at least half had some breast development in year 6.

 

My dd is also 12 and starting to develop. She is not willing to accept or certainly not to discuss it!

 

Maybe your dd was in an unusually 'small in size' audition group?

 

Good luck!

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I told my daughter that! And though she wasnt successful for Year 8 she did get a Priority Wait List spot for summer school after getting a straight no last year! And it was on her application she was trying for Year 8 so I am sure they made that decision with extra help from seeing her in person and not just the photos, so they know how she looks now! I will work on convincing her it will all be fine but sounds like our DDs are similar...don't want to talk or think about it!!

 

This is all new to me, adolescent child... Give me strength...and don't get me started about the little boyfriend she has at school lol! Luckily it still seems to be at adorable shy and awkward stage!

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For Royal Ballet we were quite pleased with her waitlist! Year 8 they only took four to the final, we really had no illusions of getting through but did it for the experience as it wasn't an expensive outing! She had two hours of ballet up till last year now has 5, so she is probably behind the curve but hopes to get more hours added over next years...but yes they definitely need to get used to hearing "no" for this path they are on. It isn't an easy one!

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My daughter was relieved when she finally got some breasts as she was one of the last ones in her year, she is a summer birth. She was about 13/14 and she is still quite small but not flat. She would love slightly bigger ones though, for all her normal clothes.

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I think that's why vocational schools are interested in parental height as an indicator. You never know which stage of their growth curve a child is on until after...... Not sure if final bust size is so easy to predict. ..... Not sure they would get away with asking for maternal bust size on forms!!!!

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It is such a difficult time for them at this age with all the changes in their bodies, it can be very hard to accept them especially when they develop at different rates. I am sure with you help and support she will get through it. Best of luck 

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Is your dd an older year 7? That could make a difference, I remember feeling very young and childlike looking in year 7 compared to some girls, being born in the end of August I was a year younger than some in my year.

 

You dd looks beautiful in the photos, my dd is a red head too x

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I know it's the current fashion, but I don't much like this tendency for adult female dancers to be flat-chested. In the days of Margot Fonteyn ballerinas looked like young women in their tutus, they didn't look like children's stick drawings, and I don't see where it was a problem. I don't know if this is down to George Balanchine and his insistence on dancers who were, or at least looked as though they were, basically just tall children, or if it's the influence of modern dance where things tend to be more abstract and geometric, but I don't think it does a lot for the classical and romantic repertoire for all the princesses and fairies to look like a parade of pipe cleaners in frills. Especially if it's going to result in so much angst for girls as they start to mature.

 

I remember several years ago, watching a documentary about three girls at a ballet school who were trying to get into the company - or actually to audition for several companies, I don't remember the details - and one of them had *gasp* a definable waist and a bust. The microphone was picking up some of what the directors were saying during the audition, and the narrative was along the lines of "but look at her! I mean, curves! she really should be auditioning for musical theatre..." And if I remember right, this girl was very self-conscious about her shape and had said something about trying to diet it away, which strikes me as somewhere between unhealthy and downright dangerous.

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