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Considering giving up vocational school


Balletmummy18

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On 12 May 2017 at 11:29, theother51 said:

 

Absolutely.  This is not acceptable.  Ask to see copies of their anti bullying policy.  I would strongly consider putting it in writing, even if it is just an email.  The school are obliged to follow certain procedures.

Doesn't mean they will.....I was appalled at how a complaint letter re: pastoral care & bullying was totally disregarded & how at time we felt we dare not tick the boat for fear of not getting funding.....I read all policies & really should've taken it further to governors etc but well, funding never happened & I really could not be bothered to waste time & energy pursuing my principles (weak of me I know) & I'd like to say every cloud has a silver lining as DD now thriving in all areas at a different voc school.

i would add that each child can have a very different experience in each school & can change as dynamics of other pupils/staff/training & of course themselves change.....one bad term may lead to a better one the next.....but to the OP I would say, look around, ask Q & above all the mental welfare if your child MUST come above the feeling of them being lucky to be at prestigious school, the ballet world is  tough etc etc....Life is tough, we need happy minds to have happy lives!

good luck & pm if you would like....

Edited by Peanut68
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Hi Peanut68 totally agree with everything you have said above.

I have started numerous times to reply on our experience on this thread but have deleted!! Our dd now at different voc school, only started in September and still has wobbles with confidence. But she is so much happier now, and we are too. A child's mental health is far more important, but if this is what a child wants to do then unfortunately they will put up with anything to pursue it!!

 

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20 hours ago, Lisa O`Brien said:

What I think some parents don't understand sometimes, especially ones who haven't danced themselves is that there might be a particular school, vocational or not where the principal was formerly a professional dancer and trained at say, RBS or somewhere else prestigious. I suppose they maybe use this fact as a selling point. The reality is that a successful professional dancer doesn't always make a successful dance teacher. The two are very different things and the qualities you might find in one don't always transfer to the other. Don't just blindly assume such and such a school "must be good" simply because the Principal was a dancer in a classical ballet company for ten years. 

This is so true!  I have seen it, and also had reports back from pupils.  Even at some prestigious Vocational schools and Summer/Easter schools, high profile professional dancers can give exercises in a class, or show the steps of a solo, but simply do not know how to teach.  Knowing how to analyse the movement and any difficulties the students are encountering is an art in itself.  Also for those who are teaching long term, knowledge of child development, both physical and mental is crucial.  Progress is never linear, there are ups and downs, and periods of frustration but the good teachers take this into account. 

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6 hours ago, Peanut68 said:

Doesn't mean they will.....I was appalled at how a complaint letter re: pastoral care & bullying was totally disregarded & how at time we felt we dare not tick the boat for fear of not getting funding.....I read all policies & really should've taken it further to governors etc but well, funding never happened & I really could not be bothered to waste time & energy pursuing my principles 

 

Im so sorry & quite shocked that your complaints were not taken seriously. 

 

My husband is a teacher & he told me that   schools including vocational schools have to follow certain procedures & that also copies of any complaints letters have to be shown to ISI/Ofsted when they come to inspect also evidence of how it was handled/resolved is asked for. 

 

I understand that your child has moved on now & is happy in another school but for anyone else having problems who is not satisfied with how things have been handled a well worded letter to an inspectorate may be in order. 

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8 hours ago, Picturesinthefirelight said:

 

Im so sorry & quite shocked that your complaints were not taken seriously. 

 

My husband is a teacher & he told me that   schools including vocational schools have to follow certain procedures & that also copies of any complaints letters have to be shown to ISI/Ofsted when they come to inspect also evidence of how it was handled/resolved is asked for. 

 

I understand that your child has moved on now & is happy in another school but for anyone else having problems who is not satisfied with how things have been handled a well worded letter to an inspectorate may be in order. 

Oh dear, my post should've read 'didn't want to rock the boat' not tick! Apologies....Late night posting always risky but I expect readers got the gist ok! 

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Well, I did see it as fate & just wanted to run away from any agro....luckily fate smiled on us as DD in a very happy place now! As I said before, one child's bad experience in one school will no doubt be balanced by another's genuinely happy & successful time....(the initial trouble at old school did stem from another pupil predominantly rather than teachers I must add)

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17 hours ago, Pas de Quatre said:

This is so true!  I have seen it, and also had reports back from pupils.  Even at some prestigious Vocational schools and Summer/Easter schools, high profile professional dancers can give exercises in a class, or show the steps of a solo, but simply do not know how to teach.  Knowing how to analyse the movement and any difficulties the students are encountering is an art in itself.  Also for those who are teaching long term, knowledge of child development, both physical and mental is crucial.  Progress is never linear, there are ups and downs, and periods of frustration but the good teachers take this into account. 

 

Yet when you're a good teacher, who knows  how to analyse the movement, who knows how hard it can be to perform and who has studied child development but haven't danced professionally, you're not regarded in as high esteem. 

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9 minutes ago, drdance said:

 

Yet when you're a good teacher, who knows  how to analyse the movement, who knows how hard it can be to perform and who has studied child development but haven't danced professionally, you're not regarded in as high esteem. 

Very good point Dr Dance! No one would expect a top  Formula 1 Car Mechanic to have been a podium winning driver for Team Ferrari! Years of skills honing in a chosen profession surely worth more than when prestige in one field facilitates entry into another with perhaps little actual in the field training....

I personally think that the best training must be when there is a good balance whereby excellently qualified, experienced & monitored teachers work alongside medically & pyscolologically knowledgable teams & seasoned professionals with undeniably valuable life experience & artistic skills to pass on.

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This is making my blood boil.  That any teacher should think that "severe anxiety" just means "very anxious" is poor.  It's a recognised condition, and not always easy to treat.  Sounds as though the staff, or some of them, at that school need a short course in mental health conditions in young people and how to deal with them.

 

I definitely get the feeling with ballet teachers that too many of them take an attitude, whether they actually acknowledge it or not, of that's how they were treated when they were being taught so it's appropriate for their own pupils, regardless of what "it" was.  Which, of course, can be the prelude to abuse of all kinds :(

 

Perhaps your son will be able to hold on until next year and see how things go when he changes teacher, but his wellbeing has to be your top priority.

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43 minutes ago, alison said:

This is making my blood boil.  That any teacher should think that "severe anxiety" just means "very anxious" is poor.  It's a recognised condition, and not always easy to treat.  Sounds as though the staff, or some of them, at that school need a short course in mental health conditions in young people and how to deal with them.

I have known a case where a young person with diagnosed social anxiety who took weeks to pluck up the courage to speak to their ballet teacher and try to explain their difficulties; only to be dismissed with the comment "That's just a label".

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Hi

Thankyou again for your responses to my op . For my dc we have decided to battle in through until the end of term as there is so much he does like about the school- not least the other ballet teachers.With the help of many people on a weekly basis ( including his old ballet teacher) he is beginning to find ways to respond resiliently to his bully of a teacher . he is now looking forward very much to starting afresh with a new teacher in September. However,  should the school inform us before the end of term that he will have his teacher from this year, he will leave. Equally we are going to review the situation in October and withdraw him from the school if he is not feeling happy in any way.Neither he nor us can go through this again.

 

i just want to add that complaining to the school and indeed ofsted is obviously something we have carefully considered ...& certainly our concerns would trigger another no notice inspection for the school .However  cynically I believe that such is the prestige of the school,  ofsted would  , as in the past,have no effect on the teacher or the insitution itself.

Our absolute selfish  priority is our son and his happiness and health and this I think is the best way forward for him and us.

 

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3 minutes ago, Balletmummy18 said:

such is the prestige of the school,  ofsted would  , as in the past,have no effect on the teacher or the insitution itself.

Haven't there people heard of The Children's Act and the legal, professional and moral Duty of Care and Safeguarding responsibilities that it requires all people working with children to promote in every thought, word and action 24/7?

 

We all love good ballet standards but it will never be as important as the standards needed to uphold the welfare of children. 

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Balletmummy18 - sounds like a good plan to me and is probably the conclusion I would have come to !! Prestige isn't everything and if your DS remains unhappy ....... he will struggle to reach his full potential through no fault of his own, but through lack of support & nuturing from the school & this teacher in particular......and wouldn't that be a shame !! x

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28 minutes ago, Kat09 said:

There should be a recovery programme for traumatised parents .... there is no way of knowing what you are signing up to - 

Totally agree Kat09. 

We are 5 years in with 3 more to go ? and 2 dc at vocational school. 

My heart goes out to all on the ballet rollercoaster ❤️

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Thankyou Ballet4Boyz! ...& yes Kat09 there definitely should be more information for parents. We are sad to say that had we known what this year would be like, we would never have encouraged him to audition for vocational school. I know that must sound brutal to most and a reaction to our dc current experience. It's just that he is academically bright and thus could have so easily have followed an arguably easier(!) path .

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Having followed this thread I've felt the need to reinstate my account. 

 

Balletmummy18, what makes you say your son is one of the weakest in his year? Is it things he is saying when he is struggling? He is obviously of a good enough standard to pass this years assessment. 

 

You say that you plan for him to try the start of year 9 before making any decisions which sounds sensible but do check the school's terms and conditions especially if he has a MDS or funding. You probably need to give a terms notice but might be liable for the whole years full fees regardless of the notice. 

 

Another thing that concerns me is you state that your son is being well supported by the other members of staff at the school. How far have they escalated this? The principal and artistic director should be aware of the behaviour of a member of staff. From experience I'm aware that there is a reluctance for members of staff to do this within vocational schools and when I did escalate a matter of bullying to senior management they were dealt with it in a timely, professional manner. I had wasted time and energy talking to houseparents, school nurses and class tutors, all who knew about the problem but beyond saying the right things were not resolving it. The principal had no idea what had been going on and admitted she had not kept a close enough eye on the pastoral care as she was being reassured by staff that everything was ok. 

 

This year it is your son who is the bully's victim, next year it will be someone else's son. Your son may not want you to say anything because he is frightened and let's be honest any of us with dc at vocational school know there is no confidentiallity but as a parent I've stepped in when my child was hesitating and wanting to give it another week etc. At the end of the day as a parent you have to ensure your child's wellbeing. We wouldn't put up with this behaviour in any other school or youth activity. I would encourage you to make the principal aware of your son's unhappiness because of the teacher's behaviour. Keep records of all phone conversations, emails and letters. 

 

It is only a school place and there are many ways to follow the dream, now might be the wrong place at the wrong time. Making the decision to leave is harder than staying, everyone makes you feel you should be so grateful your child has a vocational place that it is easy to lose track of the important things in a child's life. He won't reach his potential in any field if unhappy. 

 

Eddited to add - trust your instincts. You know your child best. If he isn't himself you need to act. 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Jane
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  • 7 months later...

Hi just wanted to update this thread and let you know that my dc is totally thriving this year in the same school with a different teacher! Such a relief to see him happy and healthy again and loving ballet !

 

Your advice ,forum members ,was incredibly useful and we are really grateful to all of you who posted for getting us through that terrible time .

Thankyou!

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