Pups_mum Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Just thought I'd wish "good luck" to forum members who will be receiving offers for regular secondary school places today. In the midst of auditions it's easy to overlook this but in some places getting into your preferred state school can be pretty much as stressful as auditioning. So I hope everyone gets the school they hope for, whether it's plan A, plan B or plan C for the moment and that the DCs who aren't going off to vocational school this time thrive in their new academic schools. And I hope you don't have to wait too long for your emails! Ours for non dancing youngest son arrived at 7.20 thankfully but I remember one year it was gone 5pm and that day was dreadful. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Good news for our non dc. Fingers crossed for everyone xx 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peanut68 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) Oh dear....11 year old has not got Grammar place they so wanted...after working so hard & being super bright (passed the test back in Sept with good score) but we are quite a long way out of catchment area so it was always a long shot.....This feels just as bad as when DC a few years ago failed to get RBS Finals/Offer of place after Elmhurst Finals or MDS funding for offered place at Tring all rolled into one..... we put so much work to support on DD's & DS's but actually we do also for our other kids who are just as important..... There has been a super happy outcome for DC - now thriving & really happy at Hammond - a school originally discounted geographically but which is absolutely worth the hours & hours of motorway strife! So, now need to focus on managing disappointment tonight & I expect feelings of low self esteem (esp. if school mates with higher pass score got places perhaps....???). Many hugs to all our kids in this position without their first choice school be it a Vocational Dance school, Private or State Secondary or Grammar. Original plans can be adjusted & excellent outcomes will be achieved by all if they keep true to their goals (which may adapt & change with age too) & work hard. Route may be different than planned but hey, as has been said on this forum many times there is "more than one road to Rome" whether you are dancing down that road, kicking a ball down it, playing a sonata along it, penning a poem as you preamble along it.....or just taking a few lonely steps....lets hope all are striding along happily whichever the path gaining friends, experience & life skills along the way come September! An offer at second choice has been offered (again out of catchment so feel very grateful for this & I am by no means unhappy at this as an options....just child themselves has desire for Grammar!) so I guess now I need to arm myself with all the information about allocations, appeals, pros & cons of following any appeal, pros & cons of offered school etc etc etc. So, here we go again! A parents job is never easy when it comes to schooling it seems.... As the song suggests...I shall pick myself up, dust myself down & start all over again!! Edited March 1, 2017 by Peanut68 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harwel Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Ah that's a shame peanut68! I hope non dc is not too disappointed and is able to find the positives in the next step. We recently had a disappointment for younger non dc and I was dreading telling him, felt quite sick, when I did tell him, he amazed me by just saying never mind there's always next time. I still feel gutted, he has completely moved on!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tropicmama Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Totally understand what you're feeling Peanut68. I feel guilty sometimes that I seem to be spending much more time with DD at the moment, and her ballet addiction. My 10 year old DS had much more of my time last year though, while he was preparing for the 11+ (massive thing in our area!). This year he has been taking it (a bit too) easy after working extra hard last year and even complains when he gets ferried around with DC to her dance classes. Today is a big day for him though as he can't wait to find out what school he got. Poor mum has been refreshing her browser almost every half an hour even though the actual time it will be available is hours away - cos you never know! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peanut68 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Thanks Harwel & wishing you a happy outcome tropicmama! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) So sorry to hear that Peanut68 - it's a minefield. Am glad you are sounding so positive. Think of the positives in the school you've been allocated. Your child has not failed - they just live in the wrong place..... Good luck. Edited March 1, 2017 by sarahw 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peanut68 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Thank you sarahw...have just been looking at website for school with place & reminding myself just how great it is & how lucky we are! TBH - in many many ways it is superior to the grammar...it is just I think son really wanted to 'win' & achieve something.....I do wonder if some of this comes from seeing all the efforts by parents (including me) getting DC's into voc schools & it was his way of getting same focus & sense of reward?.....just really hope he can understand. The offered school is fantastic for Music (he is a very talented drummer) & even has a dance studio (yes - he is actually a DS...though prefers rugby ) Need to check out the rugby results & if they have trounced the grammar lately then all will be good 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pups_mum Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 Sorry to hear that Peanut68. In these circumstances I always think back to myself as a 6th former applying to University. I was rejected by my first 2 choices, offered a place by choice 3 but absolutely hated it when I went to the interview, so accepted choice 4, which was, to be brutally honest, somewhere I had only put down to fill the space and because I knew I could meet up with my sister to go shopping when I went to interview. I was absolutely distraught at the time, especially as classmates who were recogonised not to be as bright as me were getting offers left right and centre.I set off with a pretty heavy heart that October. But I absolutely loved it there, had 5 fantastic years, made lifelong friends and wouldn't change for anything now. That experience really taught me that you need to look at what you have with a positive approach, and not waste any energy on worrying about what you can't change. It's surprising how often what we get turns out to be just what we need, even if it wasn't originally what we wanted. Yes, your son will be upset,especially if friends are going to the Grammar and that's completely understandable, but it sounds like you have a great Plan B. He probably won't be able to see it now (which of us can when we are hurt and disappointed?) but chances are he will grow to love his new school and wonder whatever made him want to go elsewhere. But in the meanwhile, make him his favourite supper and pour yourself a large glass of your favourite tipple... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I didn't go to my first choice of university either. At that time, we didn't always get a look at the place and when my fifth place (there were then six places to choose) offered me a viewing, I fell in love with the place and accepted its much steeper offer. I made it but Lancaster never did work out why I chose Kent at Canterbury, as it then was. I was very happy there and met and married my husband whilst I was studying. Peanut, I hope your son isn't too upset and will see the positives about his new school. x 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 So sorry to hear your son's disappointing news, Peanut. I'm a strong believer in fate and things working out for a reason. I hope he settles well in his new school and loves it there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hfbrew Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I feel for all you year 6 parents. It's a difficult time, even if you get your choice there is still the transition to year 7. But things do have a habit of working out for the best.I wish you all the very best. 13 years ago our letter from the local education authority didn't offer a single school! Ds was left with RBS or Tring as choices! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peanut68 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) .....and pour yourself a large glass of your favourite tipple... Have to confess I did that last night rather too freely suffering from pre-offer angst....mad fool that I am! Coupled with MSG laden cheap noodles....big mistake At times like this I just try & have in my head good old Doris Day singing 'Que Sera Sera'.....it's working for me! BTW - congrats to those that made it to whatever choice of Uni...I applied as a 'mature student' so already had grades etc....After 4 interviews not one single offer (!!!) so I never did get that degree....well....other than of course the oh so useful one from the University of Life!! Too cheesy?...sorry Edited March 1, 2017 by Peanut68 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Plan B sounds fabulous Peanut - your son passed his 11 plus and that can be celebrated in its own right. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoobyLou Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I echo what others have said above. Things happen for a reason. I didn't get first choice Uni, but absolutely loved where I ended up and had four fantastic years there and made lifelong friends (and got 1st class degree which arguably I might never have got if I'd sailed into my first choice without the initial shock and upset of not making it). And DD1 ended up at local comp, not grammar (for travel reasons), but is loving it there. Facilities are great and she has had so much more dance and drama opportunities there than she would have elsewhere. So never despair ???? X 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiz Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 It might not be the end of the world actually because it was my grammar school headmistress who refused to allow me to leave five minutes early once a week so I could make my ballet class. This, coupled with my ballet teacher telling that if my mother had let me start class two years earlier, I could have been a professional ballet dancer but I was now too old, caused me to give up ballet for thirty years. It was also heavily implied by my headmistress that the performing arts were not compatible with a grammar school education! I know it couldn't happen now but really. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 So sorry Peanut68. The competition for grammar school places is very similar to that for vocational dance places. The year my daughter sat her 11+ there were over 700 applicants for 96 places. With that kind of ratio of applicants to places the different between place and no place comes down to minute score differences and loads of really bright children don't get offers. My daughter got a no, her friend got wait listed (sound familiar???) and the poor girl had to wait until the end of June to find out. My daughter went to another school where she has thrived and now is glad about the outcome. I truly hope your son has a wonderful time at his new secondary school. The preparation he has done will not go to waste! Wishing you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pixiewoo Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 I didn't go to my first choice of university either. At that time, we didn't always get a look at the place and when my fifth place (there were then six places to choose) offered me a viewing, I fell in love with the place and accepted its much steeper offer. I made it but Lancaster never did work out why I chose Kent at Canterbury, as it then was. I was very happy there and met and married my husband whilst I was studying. Peanut, I hope your son isn't too upset and will see the positives about his new school. x LOL, if I didn't know you weren't her, you could almost be a good friend! She turned down Bristol for Kent/Canterbury, and she too met and married her husband there! I loved going to stay with her in Canterbury. Haven't been back since she graduated - about 25 ish years ago! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicola H Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 It might not be the end of the world actually because it was my grammar school headmistress who refused to allow me to leave five minutes early once a week so I could make my ballet class. This, coupled with my ballet teacher telling that if my mother had let me start class two years earlier, I could have been a professional ballet dancer but I was now too old, caused me to give up ballet for thirty years. It was also heavily implied by my headmistress that the performing arts were not compatible with a grammar school education! I know it couldn't happen now but really. there's some right muppets out there ... despite going to secondary school in Lincs , i was in the island of sanity around Lincoln, so went to one of the suburban Comps 11-16 and after a massive fall out with the head of sixth at said suburban comp went to one of the 'up hill' sixth forms .... at the school i went to 11-16 the officially unofficial 'grammar stream' was where you found the performers ; musicians and singers, dancers, MT types , it was also where you found the sailors in the main ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peanut68 Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Quick update.....after the accept places deadline of 15th March, son got offered a place at the Grammar school he wants to go to afterall! So Wait List places do come up (fingers crossed for RBS SS wait list for DD but not holding my breath!!) Not strictly forum related (though as sibling at voc school it is 'related' in a way ) but the whole wait list saga is one I know so many families are going through, whatever the school type/preference so good luck to all! The dilemma of now places at 2 favourite schools & a deadline to accept/decline by Friday saw us schlepping round schools again today so son could be really confident with his choice.....have just clicked send on the accept email! Close call as both schools have individual strengths, but in the end I think he felt he'd always wonder 'what if?' if he passed on the opportunity of Grammar...wise head on young shoulders & glad it was not purely my call to make! Also, wanted to express that I know at times it can seem that the DC's get all the attention (& let's face it, they do tend to seek it...that's showbiz after all ) but I know all us forum parents want the best for all of our offspring whatever their strengths/dreams/goals & that we truly do love & support them all equally. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meadowblythe Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 I think one thing I have found is that decisions made and challenges faced in the dancing world give us a bank of knowledge we can then apply to other situations in life. In fact I am often horribly aware that whatever is happening tends to be referenced back to DS's experiences (except he hasn't been to the US, his sister definitely is in the lead there!) When I tutor maths students, one of my mantras is "you learn more by getting something wrong than getting it right." I feel very strongly that it's the same in life. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O`Brien Posted March 30, 2017 Share Posted March 30, 2017 Peanut, that is great news to hear. Bet your son is delighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peanut68 Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 Thank you - yes, he rightly feels very proud! We have stressed that the hard work starts in Sept but then he is a rare creature in that I never have to nag him to do homework or tasks .....well, so far anyhow! He took a drum exam today & it went well so sm hoping this too helps give him a sense of balance & equality with his DD's voc exam successes....he was due to take rad grade 3 but dad managed to our him off that & give up ballet......the old misplaced macho thing I'm afraid... Son is a good rugby player but dare I say it he was getting on pretty well with ballet too & confessed to sister that he'd wanted to carry it on. Sad isn't it? At least he still does a jazz dance class - he's one of the fittest & certainly the most supple in the rugby team thanks to this dance! Let's hope he does get bullied out if that one too.... Am proud they he commits to things! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I'm so pleased to hear that Peanut - how fabulous for your son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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