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How did your boy (or you, boy) get into ballet?


Colman

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Ballet4boyz - a truly inspirational boy you have there! Best of luck to him going forwards....

 

I too have seen ballet & dance as great 'therapy' for my son.....School (& many parents who think they are clinicians it seems...hmmm) were convinced our son had Aspergers....to the point we were 'forced' to go down the route of going to the GP to be referred to a Paediatrician for assessment when he was 7/8. We parents actually felt he was just a very intellectually bright child who was frustrated at school by the slow pace & lack of progression & by others 'messing about' so he just struggled to fit in socially. Then when teaching assistants treated him like he was 'special needs' with patronizing one on one treatment (I was truly horrified when I discovered this seemed to be going on) saying all the time in loud baby talk " Now, X, look at me. X look at me." The more they did it, the more he would NOT look at them as he thought frankly there was something wrong with THEM to be talking in such a stilted over the top 'baby' way......why would he want to connect with them when they were talking in a weird way? Frankly, when I witnessed this, if I had been him I would've wanted to punch their lights out!! It also gave carte blance to other kids to assume there was something 'wrong' with him which led to bullying & the misconception by other parents too......all very horrible. now, the ONLY other people to see our son for the incredibly bright & misunderstood kid I knew him to be were the Paediatrician (yep - her assessment was a high IQ child frustrated & bored by school who needed to be stretched......funny, on her writing to school with this, some 'tests' were done whereby they discovered he had a reading & maths ability which would put him in the top 10% of 11year olds - at age 8 & with frankly very little teaching - certainly no exposure to anything from older curriculum stages) & the Dance teachers at our amazing local dance school! His struggle to fit in was not helped by the fact that he has always been extremely tall for his age yet is a true gentle giant as has so often been picked on & bullied with physical attacks yet never has hit back. 

The Ballet teacher totally 'got him'. In her well over 50 years of teaching experience, she has had every type of child through her classes & is the best judge of character & ability. He really responded to her discipline....the 'get on with it' 'dancers don't fuss' etc approach & she identified his sharp brain & that he was being treated wrongly by others......she gave him the strength of character to stand up into his full height with great posture (which fills me with pride every time I see this as he had begun to stoop to make himself smaller to fit in....). & the school 'diagnosis' (grrrrrr) that he had trouble with co-ordination & balance were completely proved wrong in both Ballet & Jazz classes. So proud of his recent Merit in RAD Grade 2 & he won the award for 'most improved' dancer in his very very tough jazz class. He works so incredibly hard & so respects the dance teachers. His sister is at vocational school (again all thanks to our incredible local teachers!) & I suspect he likes his dance far more than he lets on.....Dad rather more keen on his Rugby than ballet!! He was 'man of the match' last week there too (ok - I'll stop bragging now....just don't often get an outlet to rave about our wonderful kids :)). He wants to get distinction for his grade 3 ballet & you know what? He just might!  I feel happy to share this story as ballet/dance & just generally moving one's body is just such an important outlet for everyone & can give us strength physically & mentally!

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I am so happy for you that you managed to sort him out Peanut. And how wonderful that dance has helped so much!  Our oldest grandchild was "diagnosed" with being on the autistic spectrum (!) when he was two and a half.  We were a bit worried about his development, it's true, but felt that it was really too soon to label him.  Anyway he had those one on one sessions for about a year or so - he quite enjoyed them though, because at his age he was just playing and either Mummy or Daddy were with him, so he got some special quality time with them too.  In the beginning they wanted him to go to a special kindergarten, but we all refused and we also refused to have a therapist with him in regular kindergarten.  It was clear to us after about three months that it was just late development and eventually my son and his wife managed to arrange another inspection and got him taken off the list!   I am delighted to say that at 7 he is a happy, well adjusted little boy, a real social animal with loads of friends and he is on his way to being a Maths genius!   He likes ballet too, but only as a spectator!  Football and basketball are his real love!  

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My DS started with gym. He was a member of the squad but they are none competitive and it seemed pointless to me to do such huge amount of hours with no end goal. We moved to another club where they did Team Gym which was more music based but again they wanted such a huge commitment in terms of time. He did however really enjoy the dance element of it. Then a boy started at his old gym club who did ballet. This made it more acceptable to him and I managed to persuade him to give it a go. One year on and he is a JA and an Elmhurst Associate and is through to finals for Elmhurst for Yr7. He loves it. It is his life at the moment and he adores his dance teacher and the school is like a second home to him.

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Resisted posting for so long...

 

Age 3, he was always on tiptoes and 'up' and a friend who had done ballet before suggested he go along to her daughter's ballet lessons. They danced together until about age 13, but DS went off to vocational school at 11.

 

Tap and jazz classes were local. Ballet classes a little further away.

 

Aged about 5, he stopped for about 3 months when he whispered to me at the back of a class 'Daddy, can I play with boys not girls now?' But he soon went back.

 

Even if associate schemes were not always possible, boys classes (and there are many more now) were key to continued success along with his every week classes.

 

So, back to how did he start? Just because we know someone who knew about ballet. That was it. Otherwise he might have been a multi-million pound football player... Oh! ;)

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The medical profession is far too quick to label people. I am so glad that Peanut's son and Dance's grandson are doing well and Ballet4 son recovered so well. I wish them all the luck in the world.

I found it was not so much the medical profession but other 'well meaning (???) so called child experts.ie. pre-school teachers & Teaching Assistants with basic NVQ 1, 2 or 3 training who thought it ok to label a child. Usually the interest in my son jumped up straight after they had attended yet another 'course'....I do think so often it was a case of they wanted to find a child to fit the term & to practise what they had learnt on....but sadly this was so misguided, so damaging & extremely frustrating to son & to us. I especially found the busy body side of it just ghastly....as these 'educators' saw it as perfectly ok to share their 'diagnosis' (really, just their own ill judged opinions!) with all & sundry. And in a small village that is pretty far & wide - even extending of course to their own kids who then think it ok to say to others things along lines of " well, we all know X has problems"....AghhHHHHHH. Sorry if I sound bitter....I am.....But, back to Ballet. Frankly whilst unlikely to lead to anything longterm it has been the making of him - it has given him the backbone to stand up for himself (as well as fantastic posture for which he will always have ballet to thank for the rest of his life) & also it gave me the backbone to stand up to the frankly bullying teachers & others & to trust that not only do I know my son best but that actually dance teachers have a real gift in working out a child from a physical, mental & emotional standpoint as ballet engages all these aspects even in just a once a week, one hour grade 1 class!

I really think that many a boy will benefit from these fantastic dance teachers who do not judge or pigeon hole boys but rather give them the opportunity to express themselves with the discipline to learn to fit in & be part of a team whilst getting fit, supple, strong, co-ordinated & skilful.

So, any doubters....get your sons down to dance class...they may surprise you & themselves!

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Dear Peanut, I completely understand. Our eldest dd has ADHD and we lived in an overgrown village of 7,000 people. I know what you went through all too well. I was told by one teacher that my daughter was the way she was because I was a bad parent! :(

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It's so lovely to hear of all the stories regarding the many positive benefits gained through dance, whatever the genre, male or female, young or old, be it for a simple pleasurable hobby or whether it be for more serious career prospects - I firmly believe 'dancing' bestows so many different gifts - confidence, time-management, fun, exercise, self-discipline, fitness, self-expression, friendships, respect for others , posture ......the list is endless.

For us personally ......our sons body was broken by cancer & kidney disease, the repeated surgery & most intensive chemotherapy.

The love of our family, support of his school and his dancing has re-built him.

His consultants all claim that dancing has not only helped his emotional recovery , but has helped physically strengthen his heart, relieve pain in his legs & helped his remaining kidney to recover from the terrible side effects chemotherapy brings.

He is never so happy as when he dances ...... the doctors did a superb job in saving him , but we also say .....dancing brought him back to us !!

Xx

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What great stories! Ds was a very hyperactive toddler and did stagecoach from 4. But he kept asking if he could have dancing lessons. I ignored him for about a year and then eventually googled to see what was available locally. I just rang the one at the top of the list and he started the following Friday. I remember taking him to watch a ballet class the first time and he sat on a stool at the side of the room swinging his legs until the teacher asked him to join in. He literally flew across the room and has never looked back. I'll never forget the teacher's face when she was doing 'good toes, naughty toes' with them sitting on the floor...I thought he had done something wrong, but it seems she was impressed with his feet! He stayed to do modern, then later tap, jazz and musical theatre. He's been a JA for the last few years and who knows what the future holds. He is passionate about singing and musical theatre as well as ballet, so it will be interesting to see what (if anything) he decides he wants to pursue.

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My DS didn't liked ballet because his older sister is doing it!(and despite I was telling him it's something he can be good at from nature).

He was 4 years old, as we were on the beach... Kids were playing, dancing, jumping, doing all kind of splits and stretches... So one couple (who watched them for a while) have approached me and said that it would be sin to not bring boy for a ballet lessons... They were ballet dancers as well. We had a nice chat, but my DS had listened to their advice (not mine!) So, he is at the start of his ballet path (as long as he enjoys it) stil very young, but we'll see.

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It seems that the "older sister doing ballet" approach is frequently the cause - which I'm afraid is a reflection of the inherent sexism/anti-ballet bias still so prevalent in many people's minds.  It either doesn't occur to parents that their sons might actually be interested in dance, or they actively oppose the possibility, while they'll happily send a daughter to classes.  As I've mentioned before, both British Royal Ballet principals or ex-principals Edward Watson and Rupert Pennefather only started ballet because their twin sisters were sent to lessons.  And I'm not sure off-hand what the situation with Xander Parish - now First Soloist with the Mariinsky - was: is his sister Demelza younger or older than him, does anyone know?

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My ds always wanted to do ballet but was so shy he would only watch classes when he was little, eventually at the age of 11 he decided he was brave enough to join in and has been obsessed ever since, no big sisters or family to inspire him, just seemed to be something he always knew he wanted to do!

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My ds went to a P.E. lesson at school in year 3 taken by a guest dance teacher. He was was spotted as having potential and invited to contemporary lessons. A year later he was invited to try 5 free ballet taster sessions to which he replied "Ballet? But I'm a boy!" He went and came out of the first session saying "Wow mum, ballet is awesome!" Guided in the right direction by the teacher (as we were a totally non dance family,) my ds is now in his 6th year of vocational training. As a family we have had a whole new, exciting and enchanting education too.

Edited by mamala3
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When my son was in year 4, he and pretty much all of the other boys in his class were really excited about an after school dance club that was going to be starting. The boys has all decided to do it... "Mum, don't pick me up after school tonight, I'm staying for the dance club...".

 

They were so enthusiastic and excited about it, it was lovely to see. Anyway, on the day of the club, the boys were told they couldn't take part. There were so many children wanting to take part, it was decided that there was only room for the year 6 girls. The boys were so disappointed.

 

What a pity! The school were oblivious to the fact that they had 'missed their moment' with the boys. Such a shame :-( .

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My son started in  a theatre thing similar to Stagecoach.He was 10. Immediately he was asked to do a dance festival. He did a modern and a ballet. Comments were need to work on your ballet. He had never done a day! So he decided he would. Then tap, Jazz etc. He joined Kent Youth Ballet, became a RB senior associate and eventually decided to give auditioning at 16 a go. He went to Elmhurst.We thought he'd prefer musical theatre but whilst at KYB he won a bursary award and I think that made him concentrate more on his ballet.

 

From Elmhurst he became an apprentice with The Vienna State Ballet and then had 4 years with The Bavarian State Ballet. Then he decided he wanted a change and is now down in Cape Town as a soloist with the Cape Town City Ballet.

 

His sister did dance too but actually only took it up when he did. They had both done some gymnastics and diving together too.

 

Youngest son mind you never set foot in the dance world...is a very good fencer though .

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