SMabbutt Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 My DD has been attending an associate scheme for 2 years. The 1st year was fine, she liked the teachers and when we got to view a lesson she always looked happy and was keen to answer teachers questions and carry out the instructions with enthusiasm. This year she had a different teacher. She has seemed to lose all her enthusiasm & confidence, and says she either feels invisible or useless, that the teacher never smiles or gives any encouragement. I thought she was just going through a rough patch, and tried to encourage her. I also initually thought she was probably being over-sensitive or exagerating. However, after listening to the other students they all seem to agree that her approach is to give corrections, but no real encouragement apart from an occasional that's better. When we watched the class there seemed to be very little encouragement either. Unfortunately my DD hasn't seemed to cope well with this approach, and has not progressed as well as she could have. Admittedly she could have pushed herself more, but she seemed to close down in class when we watched, where before she has always been very motivated. She also had an injury that didn't help. We have now had her report, and there is no way I can let her read it, as it is entirely negative. She has only just turned 10, is not super-confident, and this would completely destroy her. I know it's a tough world, and realistically her chances of a ballet career are pretty non-existent, though she would like to try. If she goes back for year 6 she will have the same teacher. She initially said she didn't want to do year 6, then changed her mind because it would only be 1 more year and she wants to try for Mid Associates so she doesn't want to fall behind. This was before we got the report though. It's too late to try for any other scheme. I really don't know what to do for the best, and how on earth do I pass on the improvements needed set out in the report without making it sound as if her teacher thinks she's useless? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxi4ballet Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Will she have the same teacher again next year? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primaballerina1 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 What associate scheme does she do as some schemes like you to leave at a certain time- especially not in the middle of the term?. If your DD isn't gaining confidence/ enjoying herself there then I think you should look into another associate class as some do audition in November for the Xmas term eg. Tring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Primaballerina1 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Also to boost your Dd's confidence if she would like to then I would recommend auditioning for LCB or EYB as if she were to get in they focus lots on performing which should boost her confidence with more experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMabbutt Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 Yes it will be the same teacher for 1 of the lessons. The term starts in September at her current scheme - rather not say which one - so it wouldn't be leaving mid term. I didn't realise some schemes had auditions in November. I'll have a look into that. Thanks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 My dd had a rather negative Associate experience and if I had my time again I would take her out. That is my personal opinion and I don't know what others will say. In retrospect I feel the damage done to confidence was far greater than any technical benefits. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drdance Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I have sent you a PM.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I was going to suggest that the OP get in touch with you DrDance 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annaliesey Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 That's very sad to hear the phrase 'invisible or useless' I'm not up with associate audition timings but I thought there were the odd few around that take auditions all year round apart from the obvious ones Good luck though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 If I remember rightly, LJB audition in June and September. Tring Park CBA usually has a November audition for January start. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMabbutt Posted August 22, 2015 Author Share Posted August 22, 2015 Thanks for all the suggestions. London is a bit too far for an associate scheme unless it is late morning. Having thought a bit more, the way she is at the moment I'm not sure she would be accepted onto a new scheme, as her technique is now apparently not good according to her report. It's hard to understand how things can have become so bad when she has always had good distinctions in her exams, moving up a grade each year, and her previous report was fine. She's not well at the moment, so we are waiting for her to get better and then we will try to give a softened version of her report and have a chat with her about what she wants to do. Most of the others in her class seem to have coped much better, despite agreeing they get little or no positive feedback. I guess it's a hard world, and she may just need to toughen up if she wants to carry on with ballet at this level. I just wish I'd known what I was getting in to when we agreed to audition. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna C Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 She's very young still. Does she want to audition for full time ballet schools at 11? If not, and if the Associate classes are causing so much unhappiness with no benefits, I don't know that it's worth putting her through another full year with the same teacher. However, it also depends on whether your local teacher can offer you enough high quality teaching. If not, and if she has aspirations to dance professionally, I do think Associate Schemes are very worthwhile. Have you shown the report to your dd's local teacher? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picturesinthefirelight Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Would you/she consider a non auditioned scheme as long as it is high quality & nurturing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primrose Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Isn't ballet or any hobby at this age meant to be fun. We generally allow, pay and invest time in things that our children like doing and will enhance their confidence and well being. This associate class by the sound of things is not doing any of these things for your daughter but could infact be damaging her confidence long term. This class is not enjoyable for your daughter by the sound of it. From a very experienced ballet mum, I would stop these classed straight away. My daughters mental well being would come first. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeliB Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 I agree with primrose. I think sometimes we get too caught up in the idea that associate classes are vital if you want to try for vocational school or a career, and are the gold standard for evaluating if your child has what it takes to succeed. But if you have good local teaching then I think associate classes (often with the attendant stress and travel time) can be of little or no merit. And plenty of people manage to achieve a place in vocational school or a professional career without ever having been to a single associate class (my DS for one!). And I can't see how the situation you describe can possibly be encouraging your DD to feel good about ballet at all. I appreciate that its a tough world out there for an aspiring dancer but 10 IMO is a little young to start learning about hard knocks and setbacks. Any teacher who isn't fostering a sense of joy, enthusiasm and achievement in 10 year old students is not teacher I would want my child to be going to.... 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spooky Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Just another thing to consider but I have found that there is often very little praise in the ballet world especially at more advanced levels. It would probably be beneficial to encourage your dd to start viewing corrections as a positive rather than a negative. When my dd was about 10 she came out of her local class quite upset that the teacher 'kept picking on her'. Some astute questioning revealed that she was actually just giving her a lot of corrections so I explained that this was good and from then on when talking about a class I would often ask 'did you get many corrections today?' and regard this as a positive. Regarding the report - presumably your dd will know this is expected so would it be possible to explain that as students get older these things do not bother saying what you are good at but just highlight areas for working on. She will probably be a bit upset or even cross at first but then will either decide to return with new determination or quit. As long as she knows you will support her either way and suggest what else you might try for if she decides to leave the current associates (understands there are no guarantees she will get places elsewhere) I am sure you will come to the right decision for her. I am assuming here that this teachers attitude is the same to all the associate pupils in your dds class. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 spooky makes a very valid point. different teachers have their own style and some give scant praise and many corrections. your dd is wanting to take dance further she will need to adapt to different teaching styles and this is where having several different teachers from an early age can help. Having gone back and reread your original posting, you don't mention whether you have discussed the situation with your daughters regular ballet teacher. I would encourage you to do this as they are likely to be able to give you some perspective and can also help support your dd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMabbutt Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Thanks to everyone for your input. I think it is hard to adjust to how tough you need to be, particularly if you have no prior experience of the ballet world and just saw it as a nice gentle hobby when you started out. Spooky, I think you are right about needing to try and help her to view the teacher's approach differently if she wants to carry on. I don't know how many corrections she gets directly, as we don't see the classes generally, but I don't believe the teacher is picking on her. It's just that the approach has had a negative effect on her because she's not used to it and is rather sensitive and lacking in self-confidence. We will certainly support her whatever she decides, and your advice on how to handle the report is really helpful. Mnemo, local classes don't start back till next week, and I don't like to intrude on her teacher's summer break but we will chat with her when we restart. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aileen Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 I think that, particularly for primary school aged children who are used to the rather fluffy, 'all must have prizes' approach of most primary school teachers, the rigorous and critical approach of some ballet teachers is a bit of a shock because it is so alien. Does your dd still enjoy and work hard in her local classes? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMabbutt Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Thank you to everyone for all your input. Just to update, she is finally better after a severe infection and at one point suspected pneumonia. After talking to her, taking Spooky's advice about the way to approach it, she has responded far better than I thought. We did go through all the points in the report and she says she wants to prove to the teacher that she can do it, so we will be carrying on. Her local teacher is 100% behind her. Whatever the future holds we hope that by looking on this as a challenge, learning to self-motivate and not rely so much on other people to encourage her efforts she will gain skills she can take into the future, not just dance. A long term aspiration, because she's only just turned 10 but she will have lots of support. We also appreciate all the support from everyone who replied as we are very out of our depth in the dance world, and we were initially very upset and worried. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahw Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Glad you're on top of things and I know just where you're coming from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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